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A Gay American Tells About His Live in China

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  • edwardxderwent
    http://www.globalgayz.com/g-china07.html GAY CHINA 2007 Intro: China is actually very misunderstood. During the last three national Peoples Congress meetings
    Message 1 of 2 , Aug 10, 2008
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      http://www.globalgayz.com/g-china07.html


      GAY CHINA 2007

      Intro: "China is actually very misunderstood. During the last three
      national Peoples Congress meetings in China proposals have been
      presented to legalize same sex relationships." So reports an American
      gay businessman living in China who wants to share the 'good news'
      about modern China and its emerging gay population.

      By Dr. Jason Moore Ph.D
      Beijing, China
      February 2007

      Gay China From the Inside--a Gay American Living in China Tells
      Stories about the 'Good Life'.

      My name is Jason Moore. I have lived in China now for five years plus.
      I own my home here. I have a couple of small businesses here. My home
      is in Beijing. I have traveled to 98 different cities around China ,
      mainly for business but also for visiting.
      The one thing I have done is to always check out the local city to see
      if there is any gay life of any kind. What I have found is very
      interesting: I have found gay life in every city I have visited, which
      has amazed me.

      China is actually very misunderstood. During the last three national
      Peoples Congress meetings in China proposals have been presented to
      legalize same sex relationships. In fact in 2006 one of China's best
      known sociologists presented a study that had been done during the
      previous year that documented the general populations attitudes on
      same sex relationships. What she concluded was that most Chinese did
      not have any problem with the idea of same sex relationships. What
      their main concern seemed to be was that their children would not have
      someone to take care of them when they became old (not understanding
      that same sex relationships can last) . She concluded that it would
      not cause any problems with social harmony if the government were to
      legalize same sex relations due to the fact that the Chinese people
      have a history of accepting changes in laws by the government.

      The refreshing part of China is a lack of prejudice-creating Christian
      beliefs that fuels the fires of the U.S. I came to China five years
      ago. I had a relationship that had lasted 22 years. After coming to
      China my life partner decided he wanted to date Chinese men. So we
      altered our lifestyle and we still live together but each of us has
      found a new partner. I have been with my new partner for two and a
      half years and he is with a new partner now for just three months. We
      all live in the same home with zero problems.

      We designed our current home to accommodate this change so that we can
      live together but still have privacy. We do have the usual
      relationship problems with our respective lovers. There are the
      cultural differences to be aware of also. But for the most part being
      gay in China is much freer, no one is yelling at queers, throwing
      bottles, or being just rude because they do not like your lifestyle. I
      enjoy the fact that it does not matter if we go to a `straight' bar or
      gay bar. We can dance and be ourselves wherever we are and not have to
      worry about the gay bashing that I was always aware of as being a
      potential problem.

      During my travels in China (and I have traveled a lot) I have never
      been threatened, felt uncomfortable, or ever been in any situation
      where I was concerned for my safety. Once I was in a disco in a city
      called Tongzhou and I was told that two gangs were having a fight in
      the lobby entrance and that I should not go out there for a few
      minutes. But I wanted to test an idea, so I went to the lobby. Sure
      enough there were about twenty or thirty guys attempting to bang each
      other around with a few bats and a couple of those big trash cans. The
      bathrooms were directly across the room so to get to them I had to
      walk right thru the middle of the guys fighting. So I did.
      As I walked they actually managed to not stop fighting but to also
      separate so I had a path to the bathroom . They saw that I was a
      `weiguoren' so that makes me off limits. I walked to the bathroom and
      then came back and each time was the same.

      One other story I found interesting. One day I was inspecting a
      company outside of Taiyuan . My translator (I do speak mandarin but
      not well enough for business negotiations) knows I am gay. She and I
      have a game of trying to spot the gay guys. (She is straight) . What
      really threw her and me for a surprise was that after our inspection
      we sat down to have lunch and one of the V.P.'s from the company we
      were visiting sat down next to us and starting talking as we were
      eating. He spoke pretty good English. He started off by saying he had
      a bad day because his "lover" had the flu and he had to take him to
      the hospital the night before because he could not stop throwing up. I
      then said sorry to here that I hope she feels better soon, but he then
      said his lover is a man , not a woman. He then told us how they had
      met and how he had left his wife after three years of marriage because
      he realized he actually loved this guy more then his wife.
      Now this is a situation you had to be present to understand just how
      unusual this was. This was in a small town in China where I never
      would have imagined this conversation. He said that his ex-wife hates
      his lover but he was ok with that because he is happier then he had
      been before.

      There is a very large foreign gay population in Beijing where we live
      and we have created a pool of friends. The bet is that China approves
      same-sex relationships and marriage long before the United States even
      gets past the "don't ask--don't tell" hang up.

      I have been surprised by the truth about China ever since I first came
      to realize what China is all about. I have been constantly amazed
      about how much misinformation exists , particularly in the United
      States. I came to China by mistake , but quickly realized that
      everything I was afraid of before coming was misinformation. I believe
      the U.S. (government) feels there is a need to have a boogey man (so
      to speak) to enable the U.S to maintain it's military expenditures.
      Currently it is centered on the middle east, but after it will need a
      new target.

      China will be the largest economic super power within the next 15
      years. The fastest growing middle class is in China. More people are
      buying homes and cars. China is predicted to be the largest car
      market, the largest consumer goods market in human history once the
      middle class is fully established. (I am not political in any way ,
      and I do not get involved in politics).

      But there is so much inaccurate information concerning human rights in
      China I have made it a point to pay attention. I was a practicing
      psychologist in San Diego in the '80's so I have an interest in many
      facets of society here. I also have spoken at Peking University on two
      occasions after being invited to discuss same sex relationships to a
      couple of small groups that were interested in understanding the
      lifestyles in the United States.

      I do have many other experiences that I was totally surprised by (in a
      very good way) as I traveled around China. One very important point
      that is necessary to understand about China is that this is not a
      "communist" country in the way we were led to believe communism is
      supposed to be. It is what I like to call capitalistic socialism.
      China is actually the fastest growing economy of independent
      successful small businesses you could ever imagine.

      What I have really enjoyed about China is that I can go to any disco,
      any bar, and I "never" have to give a single second of thought to
      prejudice or homophobic behavior. Many times Chinese men will dance
      with me--straight ones--and have a great time. There is not the
      attitude here that gay people get from most "straight" bar
      environments. Many Chinese gay people are now becoming open about
      their lifestyles (but it does still have a long way to go). Many of my
      friends will talk to me about not telling their parents about their
      boyfriends, but also many times they come up to me and tell me that
      they finally did and their parents already knew. Just didn't talk
      about it to them. But because it is their son they still love them
      anyway. (I can think of five or six friends in the last few months
      that have told their parents and now feel better).

      One problem in China is you have two separate cultures, so to speak.
      You have the well educated middle aged Chinese who understand and
      therefore are more accepting when their children tell them. Then you
      have the rural parents who have a tendency (from the years of being
      large families) to feel that their sons need children to be secure in
      their old age.

      So many things are transitioning. That is what makes China such an
      interesting place to live. What is today will be different tomorrow.
      There are many active gay groups on college campuses (they are small
      groups). I have the dubious label of being the oldest full time
      student to ever attend Beijing Second Foreign Language University. In
      China `older' people do not go to college as a rule. I even had to
      have special permission to attend classes due to my age, which at the
      time was 49. Everybody kept telling me I should be one of the
      professors instead of a student. (They also told me on a regular basis
      that they `know' because of my older age that I cannot learn as fast
      as the younger students, so the professors would be easier on me).

      There are also many active gay business groups. I belong to a group in
      Beijing known as PROMEN (there are others). This is a group with
      around 700 total members. We are mainly gay businessmen, both Chinese
      and foreign. We meet each week on Thursday. Our current location of
      choice for regular socials is a place known as the "Q" bar. The object
      is to be able to network thru the gay business community and support
      each other.

      What I am trying to point out here is that there is a healthy, active,
      growing gay population (granted we are new and evolving), but the
      reality of China is that it is a great place to be and it is not the
      dangerous, prejudiced, repressive country that so many people seem to
      believe. It isn't perfect. As a gay man I feel safe and able to live
      my life without the fear of gay bashing, egg throwing homophobic
      straight men trying to eliminate our existence from this planet.
    • Coach Anthony
      What a great story Kenny..certainly lots of stuff in there I was unaware of..and I think I m more informed than the average person. Anthony Venn-Brown (ACC
      Message 2 of 2 , Aug 10, 2008
      • 0 Attachment

        What a great story Kenny……certainly lots of stuff in there  I was unaware of……and I think I’m more informed than the average person.

         

        Anthony Venn-Brown (ACC ICF)

        Professional Coach -  Internationally accredited with 8 years experience

        Award winning author of 'A Life of Unlearning - A Journey to Find the Truth'

        Co-convenor of Freedom 2 b[e]

        Voted one of the  25 Most Influential Gay & Lesbian Australians

        Tel: + 61 (0)2 9699 2448  Mobile: +61 (0)416 015 231

        "All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible."  Thomas Edward Lawrence ( Lawrence of Arabia )

        Blog: http://alifeofunlearning.blogspot.com/

        New Blog http://gayambassador.blogspot.com/ Containing 3 chapters of the new edition of 'A Life of Unlearning'

        1. The Confession - a Pentecostal preacher dies

        2. Devils in Bible College - exorcising my gay demons

        3. Rehab with a Twist - my ex-gay experience

        Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=706547702

        Have you seen my personal development newsletter archive yet?

         


        From: Exex-gay@yahoogroups.com [mailto: Exex-gay@yahoogroups.com ] On Behalf Of edwardxderwent
        Sent: Sunday, 10 August 2008 17:36
        To: Exex-gay@yahoogroups.com
        Subject: [Exex-gay] A Gay American Tells About His Live in China

         

        http://www.globalga yz.com/g- china07.html

        GAY CHINA 2007

        Intro: " China is actually very misunderstood. During the last three
        national Peoples Congress meetings in China proposals have been
        presented to legalize same sex relationships. " So reports an American
        gay businessman living in China who wants to share the 'good news'
        about modern China and its emerging gay population.

        By Dr. Jason Moore Ph.D
        Beijing , China
        February 2007

        Gay China From the Inside--a Gay American Living in China Tells
        Stories about the 'Good Life'.

        My name is Jason Moore. I have lived in China now for five years plus.
        I own my home here. I have a couple of small businesses here. My home
        is in Beijing . I have traveled to 98 different cities around China ,
        mainly for business but also for visiting.
        The one thing I have done is to always check out the local city to see
        if there is any gay life of any kind. What I have found is very
        interesting: I have found gay life in every city I have visited, which
        has amazed me.

        China is actually very misunderstood. During the last three national
        Peoples Congress meetings in China proposals have been presented to
        legalize same sex relationships. In fact in 2006 one of China 's best
        known sociologists presented a study that had been done during the
        previous year that documented the general populations attitudes on
        same sex relationships. What she concluded was that most Chinese did
        not have any problem with the idea of same sex relationships. What
        their main concern seemed to be was that their children would not have
        someone to take care of them when they became old (not understanding
        that same sex relationships can last) . She concluded that it would
        not cause any problems with social harmony if the government were to
        legalize same sex relations due to the fact that the Chinese people
        have a history of accepting changes in laws by the government.

        The refreshing part of China is a lack of prejudice-creating Christian
        beliefs that fuels the fires of the U.S. I came to China five years
        ago. I had a relationship that had lasted 22 years. After coming to
        China my life partner decided he wanted to date Chinese men. So we
        altered our lifestyle and we still live together but each of us has
        found a new partner. I have been with my new partner for two and a
        half years and he is with a new partner now for just three months. We
        all live in the same home with zero problems.

        We designed our current home to accommodate this change so that we can
        live together but still have privacy. We do have the usual
        relationship problems with our respective lovers. There are the
        cultural differences to be aware of also. But for the most part being
        gay in China is much freer, no one is yelling at queers, throwing
        bottles, or being just rude because they do not like your lifestyle. I
        enjoy the fact that it does not matter if we go to a `straight' bar or
        gay bar. We can dance and be ourselves wherever we are and not have to
        worry about the gay bashing that I was always aware of as being a
        potential problem.

        During my travels in China (and I have traveled a lot) I have never
        been threatened, felt uncomfortable, or ever been in any situation
        where I was concerned for my safety. Once I was in a disco in a city
        called Tongzhou and I was told that two gangs were having a fight in
        the lobby entrance and that I should not go out there for a few
        minutes. But I wanted to test an idea, so I went to the lobby. Sure
        enough there were about twenty or thirty guys attempting to bang each
        other around with a few bats and a couple of those big trash cans. The
        bathrooms were directly across the room so to get to them I had to
        walk right thru the middle of the guys fighting. So I did.
        As I walked they actually managed to not stop fighting but to also
        separate so I had a path to the bathroom . They saw that I was a
        `weiguoren' so that makes me off limits. I walked to the bathroom and
        then came back and each time was the same.

        One other story I found interesting. One day I was inspecting a
        company outside of Taiyuan . My translator (I do speak mandarin but
        not well enough for business negotiations) knows I am gay. She and I
        have a game of trying to spot the gay guys. (She is straight) . What
        really threw her and me for a surprise was that after our inspection
        we sat down to have lunch and one of the V.P.'s from the company we
        were visiting sat down next to us and starting talking as we were
        eating. He spoke pretty good English. He started off by saying he had
        a bad day because his "lover" had the flu and he had to take him to
        the hospital the night before because he could not stop throwing up. I
        then said sorry to here that I hope she feels better soon, but he then
        said his lover is a man , not a woman. He then told us how they had
        met and how he had left his wife after three years of marriage because
        he realized he actually loved this guy more then his wife.
        Now this is a situation you had to be present to understand just how
        unusual this was. This was in a small town in China where I never
        would have imagined this conversation. He said that his ex-wife hates
        his lover but he was ok with that because he is happier then he had
        been before.

        There is a very large foreign gay population in Beijing where we live
        and we have created a pool of friends. The bet is that China approves
        same-sex relationships and marriage long before the United States even
        gets past the "don't ask--don't tell" hang up.

        I have been surprised by the truth about China ever since I first came
        to realize what China is all about. I have been constantly amazed
        about how much misinformation exists , particularly in the United
        States. I came to China by mistake , but quickly realized that
        everything I was afraid of before coming was misinformation. I believe
        the U.S. (government) feels there is a need to have a boogey man (so
        to speak) to enable the U.S to maintain it's military expenditures.
        Currently it is centered on the middle east, but after it will need a
        new target.

        China will be the largest economic super power within the next 15
        years. The fastest growing middle class is in China . More people are
        buying homes and cars. China is predicted to be the largest car
        market, the largest consumer goods market in human history once the
        middle class is fully established. (I am not political in any way ,
        and I do not get involved in politics).

        But there is so much inaccurate information concerning human rights in
        China I have made it a point to pay attention. I was a practicing
        psychologist in San Diego in the '80's so I have an interest in many
        facets of society here. I also have spoken at Peking University on two
        occasions after being invited to discuss same sex relationships to a
        couple of small groups that were interested in understanding the
        lifestyles in the United States .

        I do have many other experiences that I was totally surprised by (in a
        very good way) as I traveled around China . One very important point
        that is necessary to understand about China is that this is not a
        "communist" country in the way we were led to believe communism is
        supposed to be. It is what I like to call capitalistic socialism.
        China is actually the fastest growing economy of independent
        successful small businesses you could ever imagine.

        What I have really enjoyed about China is that I can go to any disco,
        any bar, and I "never" have to give a single second of thought to
        prejudice or homophobic behavior. Many times Chinese men will dance
        with me--straight ones--and have a great time. There is not the
        attitude here that gay people get from most "straight" bar
        environments. Many Chinese gay people are now becoming open about
        their lifestyles (but it does still have a long way to go). Many of my
        friends will talk to me about not telling their parents about their
        boyfriends, but also many times they come up to me and tell me that
        they finally did and their parents already knew. Just didn't talk
        about it to them. But because it is their son they still love them
        anyway. (I can think of five or six friends in the last few months
        that have told their parents and now feel better).

        One problem in China is you have two separate cultures, so to speak.
        You have the well educated middle aged Chinese who understand and
        therefore are more accepting when their children tell them. Then you
        have the rural parents who have a tendency (from the years of being
        large families) to feel that their sons need children to be secure in
        their old age.

        So many things are transitioning. That is what makes China such an
        interesting place to live. What is today will be different tomorrow.
        There are many active gay groups on college campuses (they are small
        groups). I have the dubious label of being the oldest full time
        student to ever attend Beijing Second Foreign Language University . In
        China `older' people do not go to college as a rule. I even had to
        have special permission to attend classes due to my age, which at the
        time was 49. Everybody kept telling me I should be one of the
        professors instead of a student. (They also told me on a regular basis
        that they `know' because of my older age that I cannot learn as fast
        as the younger students, so the professors would be easier on me).

        There are also many active gay business groups. I belong to a group in
        Beijing known as PROMEN (there are others). This is a group with
        around 700 total members. We are mainly gay businessmen, both Chinese
        and foreign. We meet each week on Thursday. Our current location of
        choice for regular socials is a place known as the "Q" bar. The object
        is to be able to network thru the gay business community and support
        each other.

        What I am trying to point out here is that there is a healthy, active,
        growing gay population (granted we are new and evolving), but the
        reality of China is that it is a great place to be and it is not the
        dangerous, prejudiced, repressive country that so many people seem to
        believe. It isn't perfect. As a gay man I feel safe and able to live
        my life without the fear of gay bashing, egg throwing homophobic
        straight men trying to eliminate our existence from this planet.

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