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RE: [Exex-gay] Re: Actualizing Your Core Sexual Identity

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  • Coach Anthony
    I think that we need to see true bi-sexuality as something much deeper than sexual behaviour. As you know Kenni..sexual orientation is very complex and is
    Message 1 of 13 , Nov 27, 2007
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      I think that we need to see true bi-sexuality as something much deeper than sexual behaviour.

       

      As you know Kenni……sexual orientation is very complex and is linked with such things as love, affection, devotion,  and wanting to partner with someone of either the opposite of the same sex. If this is the case then there probably aren’t many men who are truly bi-sexual…….as they basically only engage in sex with another man.

       

      Women are different though. Research show their sexuality is much more fluid than men’s. Its not uncommon for a women to fall in love with her best friend and have a relationship with her. Even at times not calling herself a lesbian. We don’t get guys at the footy club generally doing that.

       

      For the women its not about holes its about relationship.

       

      Please correct me if I’m wrong ladies.

       

      Anthony

      Moderator

      http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Exex-gay

      My sexual orientation is not a sickness to be healed or a sin to be forgiven. My sexual orientation is a gift from my Creator to be accepted, celebrated, and lived with integrity.

      Freedom 2 B(e)

      Support - Information - Dialogue for GLBTIQ People from Pentecostal/Charismatic Backgrounds go to www.freedom2b.org

       


      From: Exex-gay@yahoogroups.com [mailto: Exex-gay@yahoogroups.com ] On Behalf Of edwardxderwent
      Sent: Tuesday, 27 November 2007 15:55
      To: Exex-gay@yahoogroups.com
      Subject: [Exex-gay] Re: Actualizing Your Core Sexual Identity

       


      maybe that's because some may see bi-sexuals as having a weaker same
      sex attraction.

      but what if the bi-sexuality of some, has nothing to do with the SSA
      that most of us feel.

      i'm thinking of people living in the classic times where people easily
      had sex with people of the same sex. classical greece , tokugawa japan,
      classical china and also to this day in many places now under islamic
      influence.

      i suggest the ones we may label bi-sexual in those socieities, may
      actually be quite str8 and that their apparent bi-sexuality is not the
      innate desire we speak of to describe our attraction, but just a
      willingness to have penetrative sex with anyone who appeals to them.

      kind of (to be very crude) see a hole and stick it in !!!

      does that make sense to anyone else ?

      --- In Exex-gay@yahoogroup s.com, "Coach Anthony"
      <anthony.venn- brown@... > wrote:

      >
      > …..and bisexuals often experience more discrimination than gays and
      > lesbians…….that not only cop it from the straight community by
      the gay
      > community as well. (make up your mind, you are in denial….are just
      some of
      > the comments)
      >
      >
      >
      > Anthony Venn-Brown
      >
      > Internationally Accredited Coach (ACC ICF)
      >
      > Managing Director
      >
      > Personal Success Australia
      >
      > Tel: 02 9699 2448 Mobile :
      0416 015 231
      >
      > <mailto:anthony. venn-brown@ ...>
      > anthony.venn- brown@...
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      > From: Exex-gay@yahoogroup s.com
      [mailto:Exex-gay@yahoogroup s.com] On
      Behalf
      > Of Jayelle Wiggins-Lunacharsky
      > Sent: Sunday, 25 November 2007 06:20
      > To: Exex-gay@yahoogroup s.com
      > Subject: RE: [Exex-gay] Re: Actualizing Your Core Sexual Identity
      >
      >
      >
      > Boy, ain't that the damn truth. I'm 50/50 bisexual, and even when I was
      > with guys (I'm female), I got a lot of static because of being
      *attracted
      > to* women. They certainly don't like bisexuality, either, and there
      is more
      > anti-bi stuff being produced by the Christian Right. Ex-gay groups
      almost
      > never mention it; I guess they think it minimizes the miracle or
      something.
      >
      >
      >
      > Blessed be,
      >
      > Jayelle
      >
      > Jeffrey Starks <jsta43catrocks@ ...> wrote:
      >
      > Since I've never been with a woman (eww), and since "success" by
      the
      ex-gay
      > ministry standards includes "being with" women, my internal
      debate
      became
      > "would I then be technically bisexual if I started having sex a
      woman?".
      >
      >
      >
      > Of course, bisexuality, in and of itself, is not in the ex-gay paradigm.
      >
      >
      >
      > Jeff(rey)
      >
      > Coach Anthony <anthony.venn- brown@... > wrote:
      >
      > On the Kinsey scale…….I'm banging hard on the completely
      homosexual end.
      >
      > 16 years of marriage to a woman…….and l know now that I never
      really
      had an
      > intimate moment with my wife although we regularly had sex. I tell
      people
      > who are thinking of going into ex-gay programs.
      >
      > 'Before you invest the time, money, emotional energy and possibly
      years of
      > your life trying to go from gay to straight, ask the ex-gay leaders what
      > guarantee they can give you that it will work. If they are honest
      with you,
      > the best they will be able to offer you as a degree of `heterosexual
      > functionality' , but the gay never actually goes away. Then ask
      yourself what
      > would be the best way to spend your time, money and emotional
      > energy…..rejecting yourself or accepting yourself. after 22 years of
      trying
      > to change including ex-gay programs, exorcisms and 16 years of
      marriage, I
      > came to the realisation that loving myself was far healthier than
      hating and
      > rejecting my true self. Like 1,000's of others today, I finally
      discovered
      > that I can live a wonderfully fulfilling, moral life as an openly
      gay man
      > and still have my faith. Ooooops, someone forgot to tell me that was
      > possible.'
      >
      > Latest revelation………I think I was more in love with the
      idea of being
      > married and having a family than actually being love with my wife. I
      did of
      > course love her at some level…..you can't stay happy with someone
      for 16
      > years and not have some kind of love for the person.
      >
      > Anthony
      >
      > Moderator
      >
      > http://groups. <
      href="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Exex-gay">http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Exex- gay>
      > yahoo.com/group/ Exex-gay
      >
      > My sexual orientation is not a sickness to be healed or a sin to be
      > forgiven. My sexual orientation is a gift from my Creator to be
      accepted,
      > celebrated, and lived with integrity.
      >
      > Freedom 2 B(e) <http://www.freedom2 b.org/>
      >
      > Support - Information - Dialogue for GLBTIQ People from
      > Pentecostal/ Charismatic Backgrounds go to www.freedom2b.
      > <http://us.f368. mail.yahoo. com/ym/www. freedom2b. org>
      org
      >
      >
      >
      > _____
      >
      >
      > From: Exex-gay@yahoogroup s.com
      [mailto:Exex-gay@yahoogroup s.com] On
      Behalf
      > Of edwardxderwent
      > Sent: Friday, 23 November 2007 07:44
      > To: Exex-gay@yahoogroup s.com
      > Subject: [Exex-gay] Re: Actualizing Your Core Sexual Identity
      >
      >
      > jeffrrey - i love your pisstake on the 'i'm not gay' line.
      >
      > "i'm just not heterosexual" , is probably much closer to the
      core truth
      > of sexuality than we realise.
      >
      > i'll just re-phrase it slightly.... " i'm just not (strictly)
      > heterosexual. "
      >
      > looking at so many societies and cultures before the rise of
      > aggressive christianity, people (men, at any rate) would take their
      > sexual and romantic pleasures whereever it pleased them.
      >
      > maybe that's the natural way.
      >
      > kenni
      >
      > --- In Exex-gay@yahoogroup <mailto:Exex- gay%40yahoogroup s.com>
      s.com,
      > Jeffrey Starks <jsta43catrocks@ >
      > wrote:
      > >
      > > I went through something somewhat similar (like the alliteration
      > there?).
      > >
      > > (By the way, HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!!)
      > >
      > >
      > > When I went through the local ex-gay ministry, my conclusion was
      > that the feelings (of same-sex attraction) were there, and that I
      > couldn't actually change the feelings themselves.
      > >
      > > When I was playing keyboards at the local church, I dealt with
      > having the feelings, but not being able to act on them.
      > >
      > > Now that I'm no longer "obligated" to be the Christian role
      model
      > that I had to be (if my spirituality isn't right, it affects the
      > playing [of the piano] and the Worship experience itself), I have
      > since relocated out of the county from where I had played the
      > (piano-type) keyboard.
      > >
      > > Currently, I WANT to act upon those feelings (I found a new
      > church, but I'm VERY happy with just attending), but with all of the
      > programming that has been done, I just don't know HOW.
      > >
      > > (It's not that I'm "gay," it's just that I'm NOT
      heterosexual. )
      > >
      > > I hope that all makes sense.
      > >
      > >
      > > Jeffrey
      > >
      > > Drew VanDyche <vandyche@> wrote:
      > > Greetings All!
      > >
      > > I have just returned from my Level Three workshop with the Human
      > > Awareness Institute (www.hai.org) and I want to share with you a bit
      > > about my story.
      > >
      > > Growing up in a middle class Christian home, I was raised to believe
      > > that homosexuality was an abomination to God. This curse, pronounced
      > > upon me by my Mother when
      she caught me in bed with another boy when
      > > I was about age 10 or eleven, kept me in torment in regards to my
      > > sexuality and eventually led me through the ex-gay ministry Love in
      > > Action, a reparative therapy program whose belief system is that we
      > > were all created heterosexual and that through our faith in Jesus and
      > > relationship to him, we would find ourselves "changed"
      resolving
      > > those pesky father issues that created our homosexuality in the first
      > > place. Well, this didn't happen. So, I attempted to self-identify and
      > > actualize a happy homosexuality (which internally, I kind of thought
      > > was an oxymoron, but I was damned sure I would try to manifest a
      > > whole, healthy, homosexuality) . For twenty years I called myself
      gay
      > > until I finally couldn't lie to myself anymore. The label just didn't
      > > fit. For my experience told me that I could "love" women
      and yet, my
      > > fear of abandonment with them (after a compounded loss of mother from
      > > breast cancer, dog from death the night before my mother died, and my
      > > first girlfriend breaking up with me) and my mixed up upbringing with
      > > a father who taught me to basically chop women off at the head and
      > > never look at their body because it was disrespectful, kept me from
      > > seeing them as anything but friends. Girlfriends and wives were a
      > > pipe dream to me, but I still wanted to believe in the fantasy.
      > >
      > > Now, for the first time in my life, I feel assured that I am
      > > bisensual and that bisexuality is just around the corner (I am still
      > > a virgin with women and I'm not going to do it until I'm truly
      > > ready). Through my work with the human awareness institute, I have
      > > been able to explore love, sex and intimacy in a safe, loving, non-
      > > judgmental environment. There are not just three flavors of sexuality
      > > (homo, hetero or bi) there are so many more permutations and
      > > expressions, but finding the expression of sexuality that truly
      > > manifests who you are on the inside and how you relate to the world
      > > in regards to your sexuality on the outside is a scary, exhilirating,
      > > frightening, thrilling and painful place. And so, I encourage you, if
      > > you feel stuck in your sexuality and in your love relationships, not
      > > fully at choice, are accepting a label that doesn't suit you, or any
      > > other place you feel needs attention in your love, sex and intimacy
      > > life, I wholeheartedly encourage you to take the risk and make the
      > > leap of faith along with others to explore your relationship to sex
      > > by taking the HAI workshops. They will challenge you and they will
      > > cradle you as you are birthed into a new reality of possibility and
      > > pleasure.
      > >
      > > This is where I have found a place to "be" me and the
      family and
      > > community that I have been longing for all of my life.
      > >
      > > Namaste'
      > > Drew VanDyche
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > > ------------ --------- --------- ---
      > > Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
      > >
      >
      >
      >
      >
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