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Another version of Dr Laura encounter

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  • Anthony Venn-Brown
    You probably have seen another version of this send up with an encounter with Dr Laura. This appeared in Planetout today and brings a little different slant.
    Message 1 of 1 , Nov 9, 2000
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      You probably have seen another version of this send up with an encounter
      with Dr Laura. This appeared in Planetout today and brings a little
      different slant.

      Have a great weekend.

      President Josiah Bartlet: You're Dr. Jenna Jacobs, right?

      Dr. Laura-type character: Yes, Sir.

      Bartlet: ...Forgive me, Dr. Jacobs. Are you an M.D.?

      Jacobs: A Ph.D.

      Bartlet: A Ph.D.

      Jacobs: Yes, Sir.

      Bartlet: Psychology?

      Jacobs: No, Sir.

      Bartlet: Theology?

      Jacobs: No.

      Bartlet: Social work?

      Jacobs: I have a Ph.D. in English literature.

      Bartlet: I'm asking 'cause on your show, people call in for
      advice and you go by the name Dr. Jacobs on your show, and I
      didn't know if maybe your listeners were confused by that
      and assumed you had advanced training in psychology,
      theology or health care.

      Jacobs: I don't believe they are confused, no, Sir.

      Bartlet: Good. I like your show. I like how you call
      homosexuality an abomination.

      Jacobs: I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr.
      President, the Bible does.

      Bartlet: Yes, it does. Leviticus.

      Jacobs: 18:22.

      Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of
      questions while I had you here. I'm interested in selling my
      youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
      She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always
      cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good
      price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask
      another? My chief of staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working
      on the sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to
      death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it
      OK to call the police? Here's one that's really important
      'cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching
      the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If
      they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins
      still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does
      the whole town really have to be together to stone my
      brother John for planting different crops side-by-side? Can
      I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing
      garments made from two different threads? Think about those
      questions, would you? One last thing, while you may be
      mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant
      Tight-ass Club, in this building, when the President stands,
      nobody sits.

      --Exchange between President Bartlet and a character clearly
      meant to be Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Oct. 18 on NBC-TV's The
      West Wing.

      Anthony Venn-Brown
      (02) 9552 3360 or 0416 015 231 or avb@...
      Proudly distributing Delfin's life transforming, personal development
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      "The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in
      mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes
      a small amount of heat." Napoleon Hill
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