Re: Your Whole Life
- purpleshradrach said:
[Without assurance the believer will ultimately surrender to any highly
structured religious program that he/she believes can "keep them saved".]
This is precisely correct. This is why organizations like the Wayman O. fellowship say that the doctrine of eternal security is satanic. The moment someone embraces that doctrine, fellowship leadership loses their grip on them. The fellowship goes so far as to claim that you wouldn't be saved without them, and adds to that the idea that you can't stay saved without them. They can't take away what they didn't give you. None of them died on a cross for you.
Of all of the Christians I have encountered, the ones who believe in eternal security have been amongst the most pleasant, least judgmental, and most at peace with themselves. There are always a few jerks in any crowd, but the majority of them are as I just described.
When I described the fellowship to one of them once, she asked me, "So, how many times did you get saved, Kenny?" It made me laugh.
- Great site. Thanks
--- In Escape_from_the_Fellowship@yahoogroups.com, Grown Man <what2do00@...> wrote:
> I found this website that explains what spititual abuse is and you will find that there are quite a few that apply to the fellowship.
> From: purpleshadrach <purpleshadrach@...>
> To: Escape_from_the_Fellowship@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Sunday, May 17, 2009 3:01:24 PM
> Subject: [Escape_from_the_Fellowship] Re: Your Whole Life
> The author of pottershousefreedom .org has a good article posted on his/her site regarding the unwritten standards of the fellowship.
> http://pottershouse freedom.org/ index.php? p=1_11_Unwritten -doctrines- of-The-Potter- s-House
> --- In Escape_from_ the_Fellowship@ yahoogroups. com, kenhaining777 <no_reply@ .> wrote:
> > I was pondering on how hurt people get when they leave the fellowship of
> > Wayman O. It is somewhat phenomenal to observe the amount of emotional
> > pain and mental torment people go through.
> > There are many reasons for this. However, I think one of the main
> > reasons is that the fellowship makes church your whole life. Sure, you
> > have to go to work, and you have some fleeting moments to spend with
> > your family, but the lion's share of your free time is spent in church
> > and in church activities, or fellowshipping with the "brethren."
> > The fellowship touts this as showing that they are the real church, and
> > not like the lukewarm people who just go to church on Sunday mornings.
> > They teach that it is because they are on fire for God and really
> > winning the world that they spend so much time in church and in church
> > activities.
> > When people finally leave the fellowship, usually because of a conflict
> > with the pastor or leadership, they become disoriented. Their life is a
> > vacuum. I think that one of the worst mistakes that many ex members
> > make is that they look for another church to give their lives to. They
> > look for another pastor to be their "headship." Many non fellowship
> > pastors are taken aback by a former fellowship member who shows up at
> > their church. The pastor is amazed that they cannot give these people
> > enough to do for the church.
> > When ex members of Wayman's World stop trying to give their lives to
> > another church, they find themselves struggling to live a normal life.
> > In my opinion, they are overly concerned with religious issues. They
> > have been trained to view all of life in terms of religious issues.
> > They struggle with what activities to engage in, and what activities to
> > avoid. They struggle with how much to read the Bible, and how much to
> > read other things. Should they get a TV with cable? Should they drink
> > alcohol in moderation? Who do they hang out with?
> > I have mentioned a few times on these message boards that a man once
> > said to me that it takes a while to stop being socially retarded after
> > you get out of the fellowship. People kind of freak out on ex members
> > who seem to be obsessed with religious topics, and with their experience
> > in the fellowship, as well as the getting out experience. No matter
> > what conversation the ex member gets into, they tend to start to talk
> > about the whole fellowship mess. That is just one aspect of being
> > "socially retarded."
> > The ex fellowship member struggles with people who have different
> > beliefs than themselves. They were used to being in a group of people,
> > for almost all of their free time, who agreed on all religious issues.
> > Now, they start to socialize with people who believe differently than
> > they do. They meet Christians who have different beliefs. They meet
> > people who have totally non Christian beliefs. They were trained for
> > years to confront these people with "the truth," and to reject them if
> > they didn't want to "get saved," or adjust their "faulty Christian
> > doctrines." They have to learn how to be friends with people who are
> > not going to convert to the ex member's beliefs.
> > Then the ex member struggles with what they themselves now believe.
> > Some go to another hardened belief system. Some go in and out of
> > various beliefs. There is no longer a man called "headship" to tell
> > them what they must believe. They now have to think for themselves.
> > They have to read the Bible without preconceived fellowship doctrines
> > and decide what they think it says, and if they literally believe it.
> > The ex member, at one point or another, begins to realize that the only
> > people who have a clue where they are at are other ex members, or
> > professional counselors. There is a feeling of being very alone.
> > Marriages are strained to the breaking point. Bad career choices come
> > home to roost. Alienation from family members comes crashing in. The
> > ex member no longer has a homogeneous religious group to reinforce them.
> > Even other ex members believe different things and have come to
> > different conclusions.
> > The ex member finds thinking for him or herself to be extremely
> > difficult. Like exercising a muscle that has been neglected for so many
> > years. They grope around for someone to tell them what to think, or
> > some magic book that is going to shape their thought patterns. Slowly it
> > comes back to them that they have to learn to think for themselves, and
> > make decisions for themselves. It's not easy.
> > The problem goes back to the fellowship making church your whole life.
> > Anyone who was in the fellowship for any length of time went to enough
> > church services for several life times. I personally think that one of
> > the best things that an ex member can do is get involved in as many non
> > church activities as possible. Join a tennis club. Accept invitations
> > to parties from coworkers. Go hiking with some friends who have no
> > religious affiliation with you. Take your kids to soccer games and
> > socialize with the other parents. Avoid the subject of religion and
> > just talk like a normal person. It will do wonders for you.
> > I think that ex fellowship members who do go to church should just go
> > once a week. Sometimes, however, it is a good idea to stay out of
> > church for quite some time. Again, that is my opinion.
> > The fellowship makes church your whole life. When you get out, although
> > it is hard at first, you can enjoy a life that is not just confined to
> > church and church activities. You might even get to know your spouse
> > and kids.
> > Shalom
> > Ken