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An online auction fable

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  • jverive
    The following story describes a completely fictitious and laughably improbable online auction scenario. Any resemblance to real life online auctions is purely
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 1, 2008
      The following story describes a completely fictitious and laughably improbable online auction scenario. Any resemblance to real life online auctions is purely coincidental.

      Jeremy K. Offenbach (shortened to "Jer K. Off", or just "JerKOff" for the purposes of this story) has just built his first dual processor computer, reusing as many old parts as possible. After 47 attempts at installing an operating system, JerKOff realizes that the new motherboard is set up for SATA hard disk drives, unlike the old IDE drive that he happened to have lying around. So JerKOff drives to BestCity (or CircuitBuy, I can't remember which) to purchase a new SATA hard drive). The new drive functions perfectly, but JerKOff really didn't want to have to spend money just because his IDE drive didn't have SATA connectors! What to do?

      All seems lost until JerKOff has a brilliant plan! He'll wrap his old IDE drive in newspaper, place it in the box that held his new SATA drive, and use ePal's PayBay auction site to sell the old IDE drive as a new SATA drive!! Once JerKOff receives the auction payment for $78.51 (plus a small standard $299.99 fee for shipping, handling, processing, packing, wrapping, sealing, addressing, taping, gluing, stapling, and mandatory optional insurance), he sends the deceptively listed product to Ima Screweddude, the winning bidder. By the time our hapless Ima realizes what has happened, JerKOff has changed his email address and telephone number, cleared out his ePal/PayBay account, and moved to a new home in a new country, where he changes his name and lands a lucrative job as an international wire fraud investigator.

      --- The End ---
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