Re: Thanks To All Who Responded To My Questions, And Some Further Explanations
- Hello Truthdecider,
thank you so much for your post. First let me say that I am very
happy that you are back on the right track!
> Firstly, as far as what I called a self-hate issue, this is achildhood
> "program" that was implanted in my unconscious mind in early
> as a result of the abuse that I went through then. Most of the time,program
> this program doesn't run anymore, so it's not something that I deal
> with all of the time. At times however, something may happen that
> triggers this program to run again, and then these old feelings of
> self-hate get filtered back into my current reality, and temporarily
> color how I perceive things in my world. However, I am more aware of
> this than I ever have been before, so, as I said before, this
> doesn't usually get run anymore.Somebody told me something in respect to this which I find very
helpful: Life goes in spirals. So, as you wind your way up, you touch
your raw spots, and you still feel them, but see them from a higher
level. Maybe that this is what just happened to you. It can be very
disturbing for sure!
> Most people that know me even very well have no idea at all that I
> even deal with this. For example, my annual employee review where I
> work happened recently. I work in a Graduate School at a large
> University performing backline technology support. My annual review
> was stellar. The only thing somewhat critical that my supervisor
> was that some people had commented to him that I seemed almost tooIt is not unusual that the nicest persons deal with the severest
> cheerful all of the time, and they wondered if I might be "on
> something"! I found this comment quite funny! If they only knew all
> that I had been dealing with this past year!
> Anyway, in spite of the fact that this program of self-hate doesn't
> run so often anymore, I am still looking for a way to erase it
> completely, because it is software that I no longer need, and it's
> time to only run newer, much more constructive programs all of the
> time. It has outlived its usefulness. And I am on the road to being
> done with running this program for good, and I am very happy about
I like the way how you express that! It's very clear that you are
into technology ... :-)
>I fully understand. This is beyond any traditional counseling.
> I know that a couple of people suggested returning to traditional
> counseling, but that is just not an option.
> Be well my friends!And you too, Truthdecider! Am looking forward to read you again!