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Re: Thanks To All Who Responded To My Questions, And Some Further Explanations

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  • mishmisha9
    Hello, Truthdecider! You write an interesting post and bring up some excellent points! Truthdecider said: Firstly, as far as what I called a self-hate issue,
    Message 1 of 2 , Jul 18, 2005
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      Hello, Truthdecider!

      You write an interesting post and bring up some excellent points!


      Truthdecider said:
      "Firstly, as far as what I called a self-hate issue, this is a
      'program' that was implanted in my unconscious mind in early
      childhood as a result of the abuse that I went through then. Most of
      the time, this program doesn't run anymore, so it's not something
      that I deal with all of the time. At times however, something may
      happen that triggers this program to run again, and then these old
      feelings of self-hate get filtered back into my current reality, and
      temporarily color how I perceive things in my world. However, I am
      more aware of this than I ever have been before, so, as I said
      before, this program doesn't usually get run anymore."

      ***So many grown-ups are so ignorant on how abusive comments and
      behaviors impact a child, a very young child. So many children
      believe what they are told, so if an adult makes a child feel
      unworthy by inflicting emotional and physical harm on a child, the
      child develops a very poor self-image. It is great that you
      recognize that something in your childhood has caused
      the "programing" that surfaces from time to time in your adult life.
      I always shudder in disbelief when I hear an adult describe a baby
      as being either a good or bad baby. How can a baby be anything but
      good? : )

      "Most people that know me even very well have no idea at all that I
      even deal with this. For example, my annual employee review where I
      work happened recently. I work in a Graduate School at a large
      University performing backline technology support. My annual review
      was stellar. The only thing somewhat critical that my supervisor said
      was that some people had commented to him that I seemed almost too
      cheerful all of the time, and they wondered if I might be "on
      something"! I found this comment quite funny! If they only knew all
      that I had been dealing with this past year!"

      ***It is good that you can function at work without letting the
      personal stuff get in the way. That is a good talent! You sound like
      you are very upbeat most of the time, so I guess you view your glass
      half full as opposed to half empty? : )


      "Anyway, in spite of the fact that this program of self-hate doesn't
      run so often anymore, I am still looking for a way to erase it
      completely, because it is software that I no longer need, and it's
      time to only run newer, much more constructive programs all of the
      time. It has outlived its usefulness. And I am on the road to being
      done with running this program for good, and I am very happy about
      that."

      ***Maybe you could throw a celebration when you feel you have truly
      accomplished this deprogramming! I remember I threw a party for my
      son when he was six years old, just to have a party. Well, his
      little classmates were astounded and rated me right up there with
      Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny! So, I suggest: plan a party and
      kick that monster out the door!

      "I know that a couple of people suggested returning to traditional
      counseling, but that is just not an option. The childhood abuse that
      I went through, my intense experiences with various spiritual
      teachings, my encounters with UFOs, etc. are all part of a much
      larger picture in my life plan. None of this was an accident, and I
      am certainly not a victim. The level of awareness that I have
      developed about the experiences that I have been through goes way
      beyond how most counselors would view these things. All of the
      experiences that I have been through have all been necessary
      training experiences for something much bigger. Of this, I have no
      doubt. I feel that this is also true for everyone, although many
      people do not view it this way."

      ***There is a great book I read a few years ago that I suspect
      describes and defines your personality type. It's called "The
      Survivor Personality" by Al Siebert, PH.D.(psychologist) Dr. Siebert
      was interested in discovering why some people thrive in adversity
      and grow from the hardships they have encountered versus why others
      simply become victims and give up. He has done a lot of research
      into discovering what makes a survivor personality tick. Then with
      the information, he is able to pass on the skills and techniques
      that survivors use to those who want to develop survivor personality
      skills. There's a little test that you can do that will indicate how
      strong you are one way or the other. It is very interesting. You
      can google for his website. I think it is still called Trivenet.com.
      I'll check it out and add it as a link.

      ***I like that you do not label yourself as a victim and that you
      see that much of what you have experienced has helped you to grow--
      very positive thinking!! : )


      "In my last post, when I was asking for help and suggestions, I was
      feeling somewhat lost. However, I have found myself again, and I feel
      great! This is not to say that I have completely figured everything
      out yet, but I am certainly back on the right track. And I thank you
      all for your kind assistance."

      I don't think I am alone in saying that most, if not all of us, are
      also still trying to figure out a lot of stuff. Good to have
      sounding boards, isn't it!

      Take care. I enjoy your posts and do look forward to hearing about
      your UFO experiences especially!

      Mish
    • ctecvie
      Hello Truthdecider, thank you so much for your post. First let me say that I am very happy that you are back on the right track! ... childhood ... program ...
      Message 2 of 2 , Jul 19, 2005
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        Hello Truthdecider,

        thank you so much for your post. First let me say that I am very
        happy that you are back on the right track!

        > Firstly, as far as what I called a self-hate issue, this is a
        > "program" that was implanted in my unconscious mind in early
        childhood
        > as a result of the abuse that I went through then. Most of the time,
        > this program doesn't run anymore, so it's not something that I deal
        > with all of the time. At times however, something may happen that
        > triggers this program to run again, and then these old feelings of
        > self-hate get filtered back into my current reality, and temporarily
        > color how I perceive things in my world. However, I am more aware of
        > this than I ever have been before, so, as I said before, this
        program
        > doesn't usually get run anymore.

        Somebody told me something in respect to this which I find very
        helpful: Life goes in spirals. So, as you wind your way up, you touch
        your raw spots, and you still feel them, but see them from a higher
        level. Maybe that this is what just happened to you. It can be very
        disturbing for sure!
        >
        > Most people that know me even very well have no idea at all that I
        > even deal with this. For example, my annual employee review where I
        > work happened recently. I work in a Graduate School at a large
        > University performing backline technology support. My annual review
        > was stellar. The only thing somewhat critical that my supervisor
        said
        > was that some people had commented to him that I seemed almost too
        > cheerful all of the time, and they wondered if I might be "on
        > something"! I found this comment quite funny! If they only knew all
        > that I had been dealing with this past year!

        It is not unusual that the nicest persons deal with the severest
        problems ...

        >
        > Anyway, in spite of the fact that this program of self-hate doesn't
        > run so often anymore, I am still looking for a way to erase it
        > completely, because it is software that I no longer need, and it's
        > time to only run newer, much more constructive programs all of the
        > time. It has outlived its usefulness. And I am on the road to being
        > done with running this program for good, and I am very happy about
        that.

        I like the way how you express that! It's very clear that you are
        into technology ... :-)
        >
        > I know that a couple of people suggested returning to traditional
        > counseling, but that is just not an option.

        I fully understand. This is beyond any traditional counseling.

        > Be well my friends!

        And you too, Truthdecider! Am looking forward to read you again!
        Ingrid
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