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Re: My Romance with an Eckist

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  • tomleafeater
    ... My pleasure, Marla. I supposed I ve been around and around the eckankar block way too many times, and have seen more than my share of these kind of things
    Message 1 of 5 , Jun 27, 2007
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      --- In EckankarSurvivorsAnonymous@yahoogroups.com, "marlaprendergast"
      <kws11@...> wrote:
      >
      > Thank you so much for your post, tomleafeater. You have pegged my
      > experience to a "T". What you described is exactly the way it went.
      > Its almost if you had been there with me every day the past year. I
      > am still trying to sort all of this out and your post has really
      > helped me.
      >
      > Thanks again,
      >
      > Marla.
      >

      My pleasure, Marla. I supposed I've been around and around the
      eckankar block way too many times, and have seen more than my share
      of these kind of things over the years.

      Leaf



      > --- In EckankarSurvivorsAnonymous@yahoogroups.com, "tomleafeater"
      > <tianyue@> wrote:
      > >
      > > Hi Marla,
      > >
      > > I've read most of the posts that pertain to your posted
      experience
      > > with your boyfriend, and though I've not posted here in awhile, I
      > > think yours merits a response. As I understand your question, you
      > are
      > > wondering if eckankar in some way fosters unethical personal
      > behavior
      > > in its members, or at least provides convenient rationales for
      > > excusing less-than-desirable personal behavior, if I may rephrase
      > > some things you wrote a bit.
      > >
      > > The answer, in my view, is yes. There are many reasons for this.
      > One
      > > reason involves the fact that eckists are led to think they have
      > > reached extraordinarily high states of spiritual awareness,
      > > especially when they are handed the higher initiations, which are
      > > said by eck doctrine to lift them to states far beyond the
      world's
      > > historical saviors. Of course, most of us know this isn't at all
      > > true, but the misled eckist ends up with a dilemma with this
      > belief,
      > > because since they are not at all so advanced, they are under
      > > tremendous pressure from the group (and from their own desires to
      > > think they've achieved such states) to somehow live up to the
      > > standards of saintly behavior, which, of course, they aren't
      > likely
      > > to accomplish, since they are as flawed as any average person in
      > the
      > > world.
      > >
      > > To convince themselves they've truly become the high initiates
      > > they've been told they are, they invent rationales to excuse
      their
      > > peccadilloes and little transgressions, so that when their all-to-
      > > frequent episodes of human shortcomings surface, they can simply
      > say
      > > something such as, "it was the karma of my wife to experience me
      > > having an affair," or, "I'm still working off some left over old
      > > karma, and I had to have the experience."
      > >
      > > There are many possible examples of eckankar teachings being used
      > to
      > > justify just about anything. Welcome to life as it commonly is
      > lived
      > > in eckankar. Your story is not an unusual one at all. That you
      say
      > > YOU observed this in your sixth initiate boyfirend is yet another
      > > substantiation of what so many others have stated about eckankar.
      > You
      > > were astute to have caught on so quickly.
      > >
      > > The archives at A.R.E., another eckankar discussion site, is
      > filled
      > > to the brim with posts by eckists excusing plagiary, lying,
      > > fabricating fictional histories, all replete with vacillations,
      > > obfuscations, control tactics, and blatant contradictions. With
      > such
      > > dissembling behavior so common in the upper echelons of eckankar,
      > it
      > > should be no surprise that this behavior has found its way into
      > the
      > > entire culture of eckankar over the decades, becoming a cultural
      > meme
      > > passed on from one generation to the next.
      > >
      > > High Initiates sometimes become the worst examples of these
      > > behaviors, because they really think they're these high beings
      > that
      > > are finished with most of their karma and that they've passed the
      > > tests to become the sanctified, self-realized or god-realized
      > soul.
      > > So, naturally, they excuse or write off any behavior that would
      > > suggest they aren't who they think they are. They find all sorts
      > of
      > > excuses to dismiss their callousness, or their indifference,
      > calling
      > > it instead "detachment."
      > >
      > > They might call your complaints about their behavior or your
      > natural
      > > expression of personal hurt to be the handy, ever-present putdown
      > so
      > > often used in eckankar, known as "victim consciousness," which is
      > yet
      > > another way of invalidating your comments and validating their
      > own.
      > > People love the "victim consciousness" mantra until the shoe is
      on
      > > the other foot, in which case it then suddenly becomes rephrased
      > as a
      > > noble effort to expose the truth.
      > >
      > > People can dwell on problems too much, but getting in touch with
      > your
      > > natural, human emotions, as well as expressing them, without
      > > embarrassment or shame, can be and often is a healthy, balanced,
      > > healing thing to do. As a health professional, I can attest that
      > > repression of pain and hurt is one of the most unhealthy of all
      > > behaviors. Yet, notice that few of the self-described "spiritual"
      > > folks ever mention that. So sob all you want, Marla. Get it out
      of
      > > your system. Keeping emotion inside, all wrapped up and
      repressed,
      > is
      > > not really detachment at all. Once I realized just how deeply
      > > indoctrinated I'd become as an eckist, I once cried some tears,
      > and
      > > it felt good to release it.
      > >
      > > To my knowledge, you've not mentioned the name of your boyfriend
      > > (thankfully), so there is no harm in what you've posted about
      him.
      > > And in the many years I spent in eckankar, I dare say your
      > experience
      > > isn't unusual. For example, one high profile, prominent seventh
      > > initiate beat his wife, who actually referred in vague terms to
      > the
      > > beatings in a talk she gave at a major seminar. Instead of the
      > > seventh initiate having to explain himself, it was, sadly, the
      > wife
      > > who was criticized for airing her dirty laundry, even though
      > > only "insiders" would have known what she was referring to.
      > Eckankar
      > > doesn't like dirty laundry to be aired. And such habits die hard,
      > and
      > > may continue even after people leave the path behind. Such is the
      > > insidious way of religious indoctrination.
      > >
      > > Leafeater (former sixth initiate, and 28 year member of
      eckankar
      > > who ate the leaf and left)
      > >
      > >
      > > --- In EckankarSurvivorsAnonymous@yahoogroups.com, "marlasobbing"
      > > <kws11@> wrote:
      > > >
      > > > I just broke up with my boyfriend of one year. He has been a
      > member
      > > > of Eckankar for 30 years. The reason we broke up is that I just
      > > > could not take his lack of integrity any longer.
      > >
      > > > He told me that he has been cheating on me for several months
      > and
      > > > that he even paid a hooker for sex while I was out of town for
      > my
      > > > mother's funeral. As long as I've known him he has always had
      > > issues
      > > > of dishonesty.
      > > >
      > > > Nevertheless he says he is a 6th initiate and highly spiritual.
      > He
      > > > claims that we are incompatible because I am spiritually bereft
      > (I
      > > > am basicaly a lapsed Catholic who believes in following the 10
      > > > Commandments). He says on a spiritual scale of 1-10 that he is
      a
      > 7
      > > > but I am a 5.
      > > >
      > > > I point out that he is dishonest both personally and
      > professionally
      > > > (He repeatedly plagiarizes other people's work). He defends his
      > > > decisions by saying I am locked into conventional notions of
      > > > morality and that everything he does leads him on his path to
      > > > spiritual unfoldment. He uses Eckankar to justify some really
      > bad
      > > > behavior. Furthermore he completely lacks compassion for
      others.
      > He
      > > > denounces this as "attachment" and that's why he does not
      > empathize
      > > > whatsoever.
      > > >
      > > > So my question is, is my ex-boyfriend just an undesireable
      > person
      > > or
      > > > are his behaviors consistent with Eckankar's tenets?
      > >
      >
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