Re: My Romance with an Eckist
- --- In EckankarSurvivorsAnonymous@yahoogroups.com, "marlaprendergast"
>My pleasure, Marla. I supposed I've been around and around the
> Thank you so much for your post, tomleafeater. You have pegged my
> experience to a "T". What you described is exactly the way it went.
> Its almost if you had been there with me every day the past year. I
> am still trying to sort all of this out and your post has really
> helped me.
> Thanks again,
eckankar block way too many times, and have seen more than my share
of these kind of things over the years.
> --- In EckankarSurvivorsAnonymous@yahoogroups.com, "tomleafeater"experience
> <tianyue@> wrote:
> > Hi Marla,
> > I've read most of the posts that pertain to your posted
> > with your boyfriend, and though I've not posted here in awhile, Iworld's
> > think yours merits a response. As I understand your question, you
> > wondering if eckankar in some way fosters unethical personal
> > in its members, or at least provides convenient rationales for
> > excusing less-than-desirable personal behavior, if I may rephrase
> > some things you wrote a bit.
> > The answer, in my view, is yes. There are many reasons for this.
> > reason involves the fact that eckists are led to think they have
> > reached extraordinarily high states of spiritual awareness,
> > especially when they are handed the higher initiations, which are
> > said by eck doctrine to lift them to states far beyond the
> > historical saviors. Of course, most of us know this isn't at alltheir
> > true, but the misled eckist ends up with a dilemma with this
> > because since they are not at all so advanced, they are under
> > tremendous pressure from the group (and from their own desires to
> > think they've achieved such states) to somehow live up to the
> > standards of saintly behavior, which, of course, they aren't
> > to accomplish, since they are as flawed as any average person in
> > world.
> > To convince themselves they've truly become the high initiates
> > they've been told they are, they invent rationales to excuse
> > peccadilloes and little transgressions, so that when their all-to-say
> > frequent episodes of human shortcomings surface, they can simply
> > something such as, "it was the karma of my wife to experience me
> > having an affair," or, "I'm still working off some left over old
> > karma, and I had to have the experience."
> > There are many possible examples of eckankar teachings being used
> > justify just about anything. Welcome to life as it commonly is
> > in eckankar. Your story is not an unusual one at all. That you
> > YOU observed this in your sixth initiate boyfirend is yet anotheron
> > substantiation of what so many others have stated about eckankar.
> > were astute to have caught on so quickly.
> > The archives at A.R.E., another eckankar discussion site, is
> > to the brim with posts by eckists excusing plagiary, lying,
> > fabricating fictional histories, all replete with vacillations,
> > obfuscations, control tactics, and blatant contradictions. With
> > dissembling behavior so common in the upper echelons of eckankar,
> > should be no surprise that this behavior has found its way into
> > entire culture of eckankar over the decades, becoming a cultural
> > passed on from one generation to the next.
> > High Initiates sometimes become the worst examples of these
> > behaviors, because they really think they're these high beings
> > are finished with most of their karma and that they've passed the
> > tests to become the sanctified, self-realized or god-realized
> > So, naturally, they excuse or write off any behavior that would
> > suggest they aren't who they think they are. They find all sorts
> > excuses to dismiss their callousness, or their indifference,
> > it instead "detachment."
> > They might call your complaints about their behavior or your
> > expression of personal hurt to be the handy, ever-present putdown
> > often used in eckankar, known as "victim consciousness," which is
> > another way of invalidating your comments and validating their
> > People love the "victim consciousness" mantra until the shoe is
> > the other foot, in which case it then suddenly becomes rephrasedof
> as a
> > noble effort to expose the truth.
> > People can dwell on problems too much, but getting in touch with
> > natural, human emotions, as well as expressing them, without
> > embarrassment or shame, can be and often is a healthy, balanced,
> > healing thing to do. As a health professional, I can attest that
> > repression of pain and hurt is one of the most unhealthy of all
> > behaviors. Yet, notice that few of the self-described "spiritual"
> > folks ever mention that. So sob all you want, Marla. Get it out
> > your system. Keeping emotion inside, all wrapped up andrepressed,
> > not really detachment at all. Once I realized just how deeply
> > indoctrinated I'd become as an eckist, I once cried some tears,
> > it felt good to release it.
> > To my knowledge, you've not mentioned the name of your boyfriend
> > (thankfully), so there is no harm in what you've posted about
> > And in the many years I spent in eckankar, I dare say youreckankar
> > isn't unusual. For example, one high profile, prominent seventh
> > initiate beat his wife, who actually referred in vague terms to
> > beatings in a talk she gave at a major seminar. Instead of the
> > seventh initiate having to explain himself, it was, sadly, the
> > who was criticized for airing her dirty laundry, even though
> > only "insiders" would have known what she was referring to.
> > doesn't like dirty laundry to be aired. And such habits die hard,
> > may continue even after people leave the path behind. Such is the
> > insidious way of religious indoctrination.
> > Leafeater (former sixth initiate, and 28 year member of
> > who ate the leaf and left)a
> > --- In EckankarSurvivorsAnonymous@yahoogroups.com, "marlasobbing"
> > <kws11@> wrote:
> > >
> > > I just broke up with my boyfriend of one year. He has been a
> > > of Eckankar for 30 years. The reason we broke up is that I just
> > > could not take his lack of integrity any longer.
> > > He told me that he has been cheating on me for several months
> > > that he even paid a hooker for sex while I was out of town for
> > > mother's funeral. As long as I've known him he has always had
> > issues
> > > of dishonesty.
> > >
> > > Nevertheless he says he is a 6th initiate and highly spiritual.
> > > claims that we are incompatible because I am spiritually bereft
> > > am basicaly a lapsed Catholic who believes in following the 10
> > > Commandments). He says on a spiritual scale of 1-10 that he is
> > > but I am a 5.
> > >
> > > I point out that he is dishonest both personally and
> > > (He repeatedly plagiarizes other people's work). He defends his
> > > decisions by saying I am locked into conventional notions of
> > > morality and that everything he does leads him on his path to
> > > spiritual unfoldment. He uses Eckankar to justify some really
> > > behavior. Furthermore he completely lacks compassion for
> > > denounces this as "attachment" and that's why he does not
> > > whatsoever.
> > >
> > > So my question is, is my ex-boyfriend just an undesireable
> > or
> > > are his behaviors consistent with Eckankar's tenets?