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Re: nostalgia

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  • tomleafeater
    ... member ... reminded me ... the ... other ... number of ... occasions. the ... is ... began ... people ... until ... what ... I know exactly what you re
    Message 1 of 2 , Apr 8, 2007
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      --- In EckankarSurvivorsAnonymous@yahoogroups.com,
      "zoey_true" <zoey_true@...> wrote:
      > i'm reading thru the posts today, and recalling my own similar
      > experiences. i recall going to those harji potlucks, and being
      > utterly ignored because my number was so lowly. i recall a
      > who took me to a table and introduced me to other lowlies so, i
      > assume, i would have someone to eat with. it honestly
      reminded me
      > of that scene in "Animal House". You know, the scene where
      > snooty fraternity guy takes the undesireables to sit with the
      > undesireables.
      > i was reasonably well-read, and when i began to read the eck
      > literature, i was able to discuss, or draw analogies, in a
      number of
      > ways and contexts. i was always corrected on these
      occasions. the
      > only acceptable talk was eck-speak.
      > i recall book talks and worship services with everyone looking
      > around at each other to figure out just what a spiritual person
      > supposed to act like. hell, we didn't know. so we imitated the
      > highers. we put on our own condescending, 'i'm tolerating your
      > ignorace, above it all, faces.
      > i recall how very clique-ish it all was. very high school. for a
      > time the higer ups decided, somehow, that i "would do", and
      > inviting me to private things at their homes, etc. social
      > gatherings they didn't let the non-invited know about. these
      > were all married couples, and my accepted status only lasted
      > one of the husbands flirted with me. - no mattter. i had seen
      > twerps they all were by that time.
      > then i went for a time telling myself it wasn't eckankar that was
      > the problem, it was the people who where in it. didn't we all go
      > through that??
      > ah, sweet nostalgia.....NOT
      > zoey...

      I know exactly what you're relating here, Zoey. The "higher ups"
      in eckankar definitely, without a shred of doubt, did lord over the
      rest. The truly weird thing is, this didn't end when one reached
      the fifth initiation. Then one was a "new fifth." That status would
      last a few years. Then with the sixth, some real status would be
      achieved, but if you happened to find yourself around some
      sevenths, then once again, you'd be on a lower level. In my view
      one of the worst things about eckankar is all the status seeking
      that goes on. Everyone in eckankar tries to hide this, or pretend it
      isn't happening, but it is what keeps them all going, year after

      When I became a fifth and had some authority in my area, I
      turned everything upside down in my area by treating everyone
      as if they mattered (I'd become the area director). The older H.I.'s
      just about suffered strokes, they were so offended by all that I'd
      done. I went through an enormous conflict with some of them
      over how to treat the newer eckists. They were all ready to hang
      me by the nearest tree branch. In time, the changes I made were
      accepted, and even became normal. But as i withdrew, it all
      slowly drifted back to the way it had been before.

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