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1151Re: Life after Eckankar - Coping - my story

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  • mishmisha9
    Feb 20, 2006
      Hello, Dolly!

      Nice to hear from you and thank you for letting us know how you are
      doing. First, I will explain LOL--it means either lots of laughs or
      laughing outloud.

      I also experienced that feeling of "No Man's Land" that you
      describe; however, I did leave Eckankar after reading Ford Johnson's
      book "Confessions of a God Seeker" and for a while, I read and
      participated on his message boards The Truth-seeker and The Higher
      Consciousness Society. It was nice for a time, because many former
      eckists were collecting there and somewhat being supportive of one
      another. There were all kinds of stories and emotional sharings. So,
      I would say that filled in some of my time. Both of Johnson's sites
      are on the links page here if you care to check them out. You might
      enjoy reading the archives on both sites which are filled with many
      interesting posts. You will have to join HCS in order to access the
      archives on that site, but there is no fee to join for one year.
      After one year, they do request an unspecified donation to help
      support their site. Truth-seeker requires no membership. You could
      join HCS just to read the old posts and then decide if you want to
      commit later. Also, the other ex-eckankar sites have a lot of
      information--Ex-Eck Chains and Eckankar Truth. These sites are also
      listed on the links page. So again there is a wealth of information
      and sharing on all of these sites with a variety of posters and
      points of view.

      I am sorry to hear about your sciatic nerve problem. I know a lot of
      people who experience this pain, and most are never given a reason
      for its cause other than it is an inflammation that eventually goes
      away. I don't believe that it is a hex or curse--but I don't believe
      in those things, anyway. When I dropped out of eckankar, I was
      scheduled for surgery in just a few weeks. I hadn't told any eckists
      friends that I had quit at that time. One friend told me to remember
      the mahanta would be with me during the surgery. I thought, right,
      just what I need--LOL! So, instead of concentrating as I would have
      in the past on the mahanta prior to the surgery--I told myself that
      I not only did not need him, I didn't want him and blocked the idea
      of the mahanta from my mind. However, I have always felt the
      presence of Divine Spirit (God) which for me has no face--just the
      feeling of warmth and protection that surrounds me, so It is a
      feeling for me that I don't associate with a face or figure in my
      mind. My surgery and recovery was fine.

      For a time, I missed singing HU. There are some affirmations that
      one can create for oneself. There is a new Yahoo group recently
      set up by a former eckist called Spiritual Survivors--again it is on
      the links page here. Pretujari who participates on this site is the
      moderator. The spiritual discussions are very nice, and helps to
      bring balance. Just know that you are really never alone; although,
      it may seem that way at times. Know always you are Soul and that you
      are your own master who you see in your dreams. It is always
      important to have a sense of wonder for life so that one is open to
      the answers to the mysteries that Soul seeks to explore.

      My membership renewal was due in a few weeks of my quitting, so I
      did not bother to resign. It was what felt comfortable for me. I did
      receive some reminder letters about renewing from the ESC, and also
      a mailing or two from the RESA about upcoming events. After that, I
      was no longer bothered. They wanted my money and when it didn't
      come, I was quickly removed from their mailing list. I know others
      sent in resignation letters and enjoyed that way of leaving. I think
      you should do what feels best for you. Since your membership is
      still ongoing, perhaps, the resignation letter will give you the
      peace of mind that you want--and the mailings will then stop. I
      doubt very much if the RESA will bother to call you. But you might
      want to prepare in your mind what you would say if the RESA or any
      other eckist did, in fact, contact you and want to know why you have
      dropped out. What would you be prepared to tell them? I told some of
      my eckist friends that I quit because of what I read in Ford
      Johnson's book. Most of them were already aware of the impact
      Johnson's book was having, so they didn't want to discuss it and let
      it drop. I have kept in touch with a few eckist friends--we don't
      discuss eckankar any more. They don't want to hear about the lies
      and deceptions, so I respect that their ears are not open to hear.
      If they mention eck events, I will ask a little about that--but it
      is just polite conversation.

      I hope this helps you. I'm sure some others will also reply to your
      post.

      Best regards,
      Mish




      --- In EckankarSurvivorsAnonymous@yahoogroups.com, "dollyreader"
      <dollyreader@...> wrote:

      Hi Guys, This is Dolly here.
      About 7 - 8 weeks have passed since I last posted. Thankyou for
      all your helpful comments.
      BUT - I am not coping too well with life in general.
      I feel like I am in 'No Man's Land' - I don't seem to know 'ME'
      anymore. I haven't told any other eckists here- so I have no one
      to talk to.
      Have any of you experienced this limbo?
      Back when I first found out about the 'Eckankar Hoax' 23 Dec 05 - I
      still had to go to the Australian Seminar - held this year in
      Brisbane in mid January. I had already paid to go - and
      was part of a group of voluteers and I couldn't let them down. What
      a weekend that was to get thru - with only having just found
      out 'The Truth' a few weeks before. I talked with all the ones I
      knew, but it felt empty - a sort of nothingness!
      When I wasn't needed I just sat around for the 3 days in the coffee
      areas, and didn't attend ANY of the talks or sessions - (Rich Miller
      & Phil Morimitzu and their wives were the guests this year).
      A week after that about 18 January - I woke up one morning - went to
      move and experienced excruciating pain - according to the Dr - a
      trapped sciatic nerve.
      Working each day has been very painful - constant pain for 3 weeks -
      (I refuse to take painkillers) - never had a sore back in my life
      before. - Chiropractor couldn't fix it - anyway with some special
      exercises - in the last week - it has gotton a lot better.
      But what crossed my mind when I was in pain - was maybe this was
      a 'hex' or 'curse' that is mentioned in the Eck teachings, - if
      anyone dares to leave. I am not aware of having read about them
      prior to December though, only what I've read on the Web sites since.
      Also, I was shocked to learn that Eckankar says that 'the kal' is
      the God we were brought up with.
      Each time I go to say something to God - I usually start to say the
      word Mahan....and have to stop myself - and then feel lost coz I
      haven't got a 'face' to associate God with, and don't know what to
      say.
      I know that Eckankar is soooo wrong -
      -I've tried to apologise to the REAL GOD for putting an 'unstable
      fake' between myself and the true God. But I don't seem to know who
      GOD is anymore,.. So lately I've taken to starting off by saying
      "Now -To the God who made the Universe" - ....(hopefully saying this
      rules out Paul The Twit as well)... this is me here.. - but that
      seems to be about as far as I get!!
      Some of you guys agreed with me when I initially said - 'I will fade
      away and just not renew this year - but with not having told anyone
      here - I am starting to feel as tho I want to 'resign' -just to put
      the whole thing behind me - becoz I feel as tho I'm still 'in it'
      AND I DON'T WANT TO BE!!!!
      Part of me reasons, that as soon as I'm released from it (when I
      sign the resignation letter) - I can heave a big sigh and everything
      will get better (Still getting Mystic Worlds etc)
      What do you guys think, - am I in for more problems once they know
      I've resigned? - problems such as - GETTING RUNG BY THE RESA FOR AN
      EXPLANATION AS TO WHY I RESIGNED - etc etc or will they just
      ignore me.
      Thanks guys for taking the time to read this - I hope I haven't
      bored you too much. P.S. what does LOL mean? -
      (Lots of Love or Lots of Luck or something else?) Cheers &
      Thankyou Dolly
      >
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