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1150Re: Life after Eckankar - Coping - my story

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  • ctecvie
    Feb 20, 2006
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      Hello Dolly

      thanks for your post. Life can be difficult after leaving a group we
      felt at home with, can't it! See below for more remarks.

      --- In EckankarSurvivorsAnonymous@yahoogroups.com, "dollyreader"
      <dollyreader@...> wrote:
      >
      > Hi Guys, This is Dolly here.
      > About 7 - 8 weeks have passed since I last posted. Thankyou for
      > all your helpful comments.
      > BUT - I am not coping too well with life in general.
      > I feel like I am in 'No Man's Land' - I don't seem to know 'ME'
      > anymore. I haven't told any other eckists here- so I have no one
      > to talk to.
      > Have any of you experienced this limbo?

      *** Not in this way. But I did feel a bit empty even if I wasn't
      involved in eck life so much, and we didn't have so many eckist
      friends. My husband left with me, so that was very good.


      > Back when I first found out about the 'Eckankar Hoax' 23 Dec 05 -
      >I
      > still had to go to the Australian Seminar - held this year in
      > Brisbane in mid January. I had already paid to go - and
      > was part of a group of voluteers and I couldn't let them down.

      *** I have heard similar stories about eckists who wanted to leave
      but still had a commitment to fulfill - and they all said it was
      terrible and they were happy when it was over and they could leave.

      >What
      > a weekend that was to get thru - with only having just found
      > out 'The Truth' a few weeks before. I talked with all the ones I
      > knew, but it felt empty - a sort of nothingness!

      *** This must have been terrible indeed.

      > When I wasn't needed I just sat around for the 3 days in the coffee
      > areas, and didn't attend ANY of the talks or sessions - (Rich
      >Miller
      > & Phil Morimitzu and their wives were the guests this year).
      > A week after that about 18 January - I woke up one morning - went
      >to
      > move and experienced excruciating pain - according to the Dr - a
      > trapped sciatic nerve.
      > Working each day has been very painful - constant pain for 3
      >weeks -
      > (I refuse to take painkillers) - never had a sore back in my life
      > before. - Chiropractor couldn't fix it - anyway with some
      >special
      > exercises - in the last week - it has gotton a lot better.
      > But what crossed my mind when I was in pain - was maybe this was
      > a 'hex' or 'curse' that is mentioned in the Eck teachings, - if
      > anyone dares to leave.

      *** Those curses are very powerful, and they are implanted in our
      minds. So it's extremely important to liberate yourself from them as
      thoroughly as possible. What my husband and I did was taking our
      energy back from Eckankar and sending everything that was not ours
      (all the curses, all the energy) back to them. We call
      it "separating of energies". You just feel inside yourself what it
      is that is yours, and this you take back, and you send back the rest
      of the energies.

      > I am not aware of having read about them
      > prior to December though, only what I've read on the Web sites
      >since.

      They are all over the books and the discourses - look at the
      Shariyat! In my opinion, the most powerful curses are in there. And
      Paul hid them cleverly between paragraphs of saying "other religions
      would say this or that" and mention the curses of others, and then
      going on doing the same thing a few paragraphs later!

      > Also, I was shocked to learn that Eckankar says that 'the kal' is
      > the God we were brought up with.
      > Each time I go to say something to God - I usually start to say
      >the
      > word Mahan....and have to stop myself - and then feel lost coz I
      > haven't got a 'face' to associate God with, and don't know what
      >to
      > say.

      *** I can completely relate to this. I have since learnt to feel my
      higher self - which was replaced by the mahanta during my time in
      eckankar. And don't worry if the mahanta still comes up, this needs
      some (or even a lot of) time before it fades away. The most
      important thing is to stop yourself and to become aware what you are
      saying. You are doing this anyway, so that's a huge step already. I
      started to read "The Impersonal Life" soon after I left, and it
      helped me enormously to understand my own higher self. It's a bit
      Christian but it's very good in my opinion.

      > I know that Eckankar is soooo wrong -
      > -I've tried to apologise to the REAL GOD for putting an 'unstable
      > fake' between myself and the true God. But I don't seem to know
      >who
      > GOD is anymore,.. So lately I've taken to starting off by
      >saying
      > "Now -To the God who made the Universe" - ....(hopefully saying
      >this
      > rules out Paul The Twit as well)... this is me here.. - but that
      > seems to be about as far as I get!!

      *** This is very good. And be assured that the "God who made the
      Universe" understands and appreciates you!

      > Some of you guys agreed with me when I initially said - 'I will
      >fade
      > away and just not renew this year - but with not having told anyone
      > here - I am starting to feel as tho I want to 'resign' -just to
      >put
      > the whole thing behind me - becoz I feel as tho I'm still 'in it'
      > AND I DON'T WANT TO BE!!!!

      *** Exactly. My husband and I resigned immediately and it felt so
      good! Of course it's different for anybody of us, but we felt that a
      complete and thorough cut was the best thing to do for us (and I can
      tell you that for me, it's still difficult to let go!!)

      > Part of me reasons, that as soon as I'm released from it (when I
      > sign the resignation letter) - I can heave a big sigh and
      >everything
      > will get better (Still getting Mystic Worlds etc)

      *** I think it will get better for sure. Healing takes some time and
      you will have made the first step towards it.

      > What do you guys think, - am I in for more problems once they know
      > I've resigned? - problems such as - GETTING RUNG BY THE RESA FOR
      >AN
      > EXPLANATION AS TO WHY I RESIGNED - etc etc or will they just
      > ignore me.

      *** It depends on your area of course. Personally, I think it would
      even be good to be rung by the resa for an explanation! But mostly
      people don't dare to ask because they are afraid of the answers they
      might get - so they will just ignore you. They did so with us!

      > Thanks guys for taking the time to read this - I hope I haven't
      > bored you too much. P.S. what does LOL mean? -

      *** On the contrary!!! Thanks for sharing with us. LOL
      means "Laughing out loud". There's also ROFL (Rolling On the Floor
      Laughing) etc. etc.

      Take care and all the best to you!
      Ingrid
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