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Rob Brezsny's Weekly Horoscope

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  • Aussie Talie
    FREE WILL ASTROLOGY Week beginning September 27 Copyright 2012 by Rob Brezsny http://FreeWillAstrology.com Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics* LIBRA (Sept.
    Message 1 of 49 , Oct 1, 2012
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      Week beginning September 27
      Copyright 2012 by Rob Brezsny
      Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*

      LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The German poet and philosopher Friedrich von
      Schiller liked to have rotting apples in his desk drawer as he worked; the
      scent inspired him. Agatha Christie testified that many of her best ideas
      came to her while she was washing dishes. As for Beethoven, he
      sometimes stimulated his creativity by pouring cold water over his head.
      What about you, Libra? Are there odd inclinations and idiosyncratic
      behaviors that in the past have roused your original thinking? I encourage
      you to try them all this week, and then see if you can dream up at least
      two new ones. You have officially entered the brainstorming season.

      SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It's expensive for the U.S. to hold prisoners
      at its Guantanamo Bay detention camp in Cuba: $800,000 per year for
      each detainee. That's 30 times more than it costs to incarcerate a
      convict on the American mainland. According to the *Miami Herald,*
      Guantanamo is the most expensive prison on the planet. How much do
      you spend on locking stuff up, Scorpio? What does it cost, not just
      financially but emotionally and spiritually, for you to keep your secrets
      hidden and your fears tamped down and your unruly passions bottled up
      and your naughty urges suppressed? The coming weeks would be a good
      time to make sure the price you pay for all that is reasonable -- not even
      close to being like Guantanamo.

      SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): What time is it, boys and girls? It's
      Floods of Fantastic Gratitude Week: a perfect opportunity to express your
      passionate appreciation for everything you've been given. So get out
      there and tell people how much you've benefited from what they've done
      for you. For best results, be playful and have fun as you express your
      thanks. By the way, there'll be a fringe benefit to this outpouring: By
      celebrating the blessings you already enjoy, you will generate future

      CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Telling the whole deep truth and nothing
      but the whole deep truth isn't necessarily a recipe for being popular. It
      may on occasion provoke chaos and be disruptive. In an institutional
      setting, displays of candor may even diminish your clout and undermine
      your ambitions. But now take everything I just said and disregard it for a
      while. This is one of those rare times when being profoundly authentic will
      work to your supreme advantage.

      AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): "Show me the money" is a meme that first
      appeared in the 1996 movie *Jerry Maguire.* It has been uttered
      approximately a hundred trillion times since then. Have you ever said it in
      earnest? If so, you were probably demanding to get what you had been
      promised. You were telling people you wanted to see tangible proof that
      they valued your efforts. In light of your current astrological omens, I
      propose that you use a variation on this theme. What you need right now
      is less materialistic and more marvelous. Try making this your mantra:
      "Show me the magic."

      PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My acquaintance Jacob fell for a woman who
      also professed her ardor for him. But in the midst of their courtship, as
      the mystery was still ripening, she suddenly left the country. "I've got to
      go to Indonesia," she texted him one night, and she was gone the next
      day. Jacob was confused, forlorn, dazed. He barely ate for days. On the
      sixth day, a FedEx package arrived from her. It contained a green silk
      scarf and a note: "I wore this as I walked to the top of the volcano and
      said a five-hour prayer to elevate our love." Jacob wasn't sure how to
      interpret it, although it seemed to be a good omen. What happened next?
      I haven't heard yet. I predict that you will soon receive a sign that has
      resemblances to this one. Don't jump to conclusions about what it means,
      but assume the best.

      ARIES (March 21-April 19): Here's the curious message I derived from the
      current astrological configurations: It's one of those rare times when a
      wall may actually help bring people together. How? Why? The omens
      don't reveal that specific information. They only tell me that what seems
      like a barrier might end up serving as a connector. An influence that in
      other situations would tend to cause separation will in this case be likely
      to promote unity. Capitalize on this anomaly, Aries!

      TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In my first dream last night, I gave you a holy
      book that you left out in the rain. In my second dream, I cooked you some
      chicken soup that you didn't eat. My third dream was equally disturbing. I
      assigned you some homework that would have helped you discover
      important clues about tending to your emotional health. Alas, you didn't
      do the homework. In the morning, I woke up from my dreams feeling
      exasperated and worried. But later I began to theorize that maybe they
      weren't prophecies, but rather helpful warnings. Now that you've heard
      them, I'm hoping you will become alert to the gifts you've been ignoring
      and take advantage of the healing opportunities you've been neglecting.

      GEMINI (May 21-June 20): There's a good chance that your rhythm in the
      coming days will resemble a gentle, continuous orgasm. It won't be
      stupendously ecstatic, mind you. I'm not predicting massive eruptions of
      honeyed bliss that keep blowing your mind. Rather, the experience will be
      more like a persistent flow of warm contentment. You'll be constantly
      tuning in to a secret sweetness that thrills you subliminally. Again and
      again you will slip into a delicious feeling that everything is unfolding
      exactly as it should be. Warning! There are two factors that could possibly
      undermine this blessing: 1. if you scare it away with blasts of cynicism; 2.
      if you get greedy and try to force it to become bigger and stronger. So
      please don't do those things!

      CANCER (June 21-July 22): Philosopher Jonathan Zap (zaporacle.com)
      provides the seed for this week's meditation: "Conscious reflection on the
      past can deepen the soul and provide revelations of great value for the
      present and future. On the other hand, returning to the past obsessively
      out of emotional addiction can be a massive draining of vitality needed for
      full engagement with the present." So which will it be, Cancerian? One
      way or another, you are likely to be pulled back toward the old days and
      the old ways. I'll prefer it if you re-examine your history and extract useful
      lessons from the past instead of wallowing in dark nostalgia and getting
      lost in fruitless longing.

      LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Picture a TV satellite dish on the roof of a
      peasant's shack in rural Honduras. Imagine a gripping rendition of
      Beethoven's *Moonlight Sonata* played on the mandolin. Visualize the
      Dalai Lama quoting Chris Rock a bit out of context but with humorous and
      dramatic effect. Got all that? Next, imagine that these three scenes are
      metaphors for your metaphysical assignment in the coming week. Need
      another hint? OK. Think about how you can make sure that nothing gets
      lost in the dicey translations you'll be responsible for making.

      VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Here are some ways to get more respect: 1.
      Do your best in every single thing you do -- whether it's communicating
      precisely or upholding the highest possible standards at your job or taking
      excellent care of yourself. 2. Maintain impeccable levels of integrity in
      everything you do -- whether it's being scrupulously honest or thoroughly
      fair-minded or fiercely kind. 3. On the other hand, don't try so
      compulsively hard to do your best and cultivate integrity that you get
      self-conscious and obstruct the flow of your natural intelligence. 4. Make
      it your goal that no later than four years from now you will be doing what
      you love to do at least 51 percent of the time. 5. Give other people as
      much respect as you sincerely believe they deserve. 6. Give yourself more
    • Aussie Talie
      FREE WILL ASTROLOGY Week beginning October 31 Copyright 2013 by Rob Brezsny http://FreeWillAstrology.com Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics* SCORPIO (Oct.
      Message 49 of 49 , Oct 29, 2013
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        Week beginning October 31
        Copyright 2013 by Rob Brezsny
        Grammar key: Asterisks equal *italics*

        SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): What if you had the power to enchant and
        even bewitch people with your charisma? Would you wield your allure
        without mercy? Would you feel wicked delight in their attraction to you,
        even if you didn't plan to give them what they want? I suspect these
        questions aren't entirely rhetorical right now. You may have more mojo at
        your disposal than you realize. Speaking for your conscience, I will ask you
        not to desecrate your privilege. If you must manipulate people, do it for
        their benefit as well as yours. Use your raw magic responsibly. Halloween
        costume suggestion: a mesmerizing guru; an irresistible diva; a stage

        SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I had a dream that you were in the film
        *O Brother, Where Art Thou?* You were like the character played by
        George Clooney after he escaped from a prison chain gang. Can you
        picture it? You were wearing a striped jailbird suit, and a ball and chain
        were still cuffed around your ankle. But you were sort of free, too. You
        were on the lam, making your way from adventure to adventure as you
        eluded those who would throw you back in the slammer. You were not yet
        in the clear, but you seemed to be en route to total emancipation. I think
        this dream is an apt metaphorical depiction of your actual life right now.
        Could you somehow use it in designing your Halloween costume?

        CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I invite you to try the following exercise.
        Imagine the most powerful role you could realistically attain in the future.
        This is a position or niche or job that will authorize you to wield your
        influence to the max. It will give you the clout to shape the environments
        you share with other people. It will allow you to freely express your
        important ideas and have them be treated seriously. Let your imagination
        run a little wild as you visualize the possibilities. Incorporate your visions
        into your Halloween costume.

        AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the course of earning a living, I have
        worked four different jobs as a janitor and six as a dishwasher. On the
        brighter side, I have performed as a songwriter and lead singer for six rock
        bands and currently write a syndicated astrology column. According to
        my analysis of the astrological omens, you Aquarians are primed to
        cultivate a relationship with your work life that is more like my latter
        choices than the former. The next eight months will be a favorable time
        to ensure that you'll be doing your own personal equivalent of rock singer
        or astrology columnist well into the future. Halloween costume
        suggestion: your dream job.

        PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Author Robert Louis Stevenson loved the
        work of poet Walt Whitman, recommending it with the same enthusiasm
        as he did Shakespeare's. Stevenson also regarded Whitman as an unruly
        force of nature, and in one famous passage, called him "a large shaggy
        dog, just unchained, scouring the beaches of the world and baying at the
        moon." Your assignment is to do your best imitation of a primal creature
        like Whitman. In fact, consider being him for Halloween. Maybe you could
        memorize passages from Whitman's *Leaves of Grass* and recite them at
        random moments. Here's one: "I too am not a bit tamed, I too am
        untranslatable, / I sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world."

        ARIES (March 21-April 19): Once when I was hiking through Maui's rain
        forest, I spied a majestic purple honohono flower sprouting from a rotting
        log. As I bent down close, I inhaled the merged aromas of moldering wood
        and sweet floral fragrance. Let's make this scene your metaphor of the
        week, Aries. Here's why: A part of your life that is in the throes of decay
        can serve as host for a magnificent bloom. What has been lost to you
        may become the source of fertility. Halloween costume suggestion: a
        garbage man or cleaning maid wearing a crown of roses.

        TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What don't you like? Get clear about that.
        What don't you want to do? Make definitive decisions. What kind of
        person do you not want to become and what life do you never want to
        live? Resolve those questions with as much certainty as possible. Write it
        all down, preferably in the form of a contract with yourself. Sign the
        contract. This document will be your sacred promise, a declaration of the
        boundaries you won't cross and the activities you won't waste your time
        on and the desires that aren't worthy of you. It will feed your freedom to
        know exactly what you like and what you want to accomplish and who
        you want to become. Halloween costume suggestion: the opposite of who
        you really are.

        GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Are you up for an experiment? Not just on
        Halloween, but for a week afterwards, be scarier than your fears. If an
        anxious thought pops into your mind, bare your teeth and growl, "Get out
        of here or I will rip you to shreds!" If a demon visits you in a nightly
        dream, chase after it with a torch and sword, screaming "Begone, foul
        spirit, or I will burn your mangy ass!" Don't tolerate bullying in any form,
        whether it comes from a critical little voice in your head or from
        supposedly nice people who are trying to guilt-trip you. "I am a brave
        conqueror who cannot be intimidated!" is what you could say, or "I am a
        monster of love and goodness who will defeat all threats to my integrity!"

        CANCER (June 21-July 22): Are you ready to be amazed? Now would be
        an excellent time to shed your soul's infantile illusions . . . to play wildly
        with the greatest mystery you know . . . to accept gifts that enhance
        your freedom and refuse gifts that don't . . . to seek out a supernatural
        encounter that heals your chronic sadness . . . to consort and converse
        with sexy magical spirits from the future . . . to make love with the lights
        on and cry when you come. Halloween costume suggestion: the
        archetypal LOVER.

        LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Some people in your vicinity are smoldering and
        fuming. The air is heavy with emotional ferment. Conspiracy theories are
        ripening and rotting at the same time. Hidden agendas are seeping into
        conversations, and gossip is swirling like ghostly dust devils. Yet in the
        midst of this mayhem, an eerie calm possesses you. As everyone else
        struggles, you're poised and full of grace. To what do we owe this
        stability? I suspect it has to do with the fact that life is showing you how
        to feel at home in the world no matter what's happening around you.
        Keep making yourself receptive to these teachings. Halloween costume
        suggestion: King or Queen of Relaxation.

        VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Unification should be a key theme for you in
        the coming weeks. Anything you do that promotes splicing and blending
        and harmonizing will get extra help, sometimes from mysterious forces
        working behind the scenes. The more you work to find common ground
        between opposing sides, the stronger you'll feel and the better you'll
        look. If you can manage to mend schisms and heal wounds, unexpected
        luck will flow into your life. To encourage these developments, consider
        these Halloween disguises: a roll of tape, a stick of Krazy Glue, a wound
        that's healing, a bridge.

        LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): What do you think you'd be like if you were
        among the one-percent-wealthiest people on Earth? Would you demand
        that your government raise your taxes so you could contribute more to
        our collective well-being? Would you live simply and cheaply so you'd
        have more money to donate to charities and other worthy causes? This
        Halloween season, I suggest you play around with fantasies like that --
        maybe even masquerade as an incredibly rich philanthropist who doles out
        cash and gifts everywhere you go. At the very least, imagine what it
        would be like if you had everything you needed and felt so grateful you
        shared your abundance freely.
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