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252A seasonal song

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  • TSivia
    Dec 24, 2008
    • 0 Attachment
      Courtesy an E.M.S. list, via the SCA chirurgeon list...something
      seasonal for us all.

      HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!
      TSivia


      The 12 Days of Christmas - EMS Style"

      On the First day of Christmas, my Dispatcher gave to me...Grandma
      who fell and
      hurt her knee...

      On the Second Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...2 MG of
      Narcan for
      the out of work person who wants to end it all by taking her
      Husband's pain
      pills and won't tell me what she took and is feeling suicidal....and
      grandma
      who fell and hurt her knee.

      On the Third day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Three
      stacked shocks
      for the 88 year old man who instead of paying the neighbor kid 5
      bucks to
      shovel his driveway, decided to do it himself and have the big one
      in the
      driveway...2 Mg of Narcan for the psycho chick trying to off
      herself...and
      grandma who fell and hurt her knee..

      On the Fourth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....4 AM in
      the morning
      I have to go to the nursing home because someone has had the flu for
      like 16
      years and all of a sudden needs to go to the
      hospital....NOW,...Three Stacked
      shocks for the full arrested popsicle, 2 MG of Narcan for Morphine
      eating
      Momma..and Grandma who fell and hurt her knee....

      On the Fifth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...Five
      minutes to
      eat.....4 AM shuttle call, Three stacked shocks, 2 MG of Narcan, and
      Grandma
      who fell and hurt her knee....

      On the Sixth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Six run
      reports
      behind because the computer guy can't fix the system..Five Minutes to
      eat!!!!!!!!!! 4 AM Shuttle, 3 zaps to the chest, gonna have a
      stomach pumped,
      and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

      On the Seventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...Seven
      car pile up
      while everyone was trying to beat the light so they can get into Wal
      Mart the
      day after Thanksgiving thinking there is only 4 dancing Elmo
      Dolls...six
      reports behind...Five minutes to eat.......4AM is way to early, 3
      stacked
      shocks, 2 of Narcan Pushed, and grandma who fell and hurt her
      knee....

      On the Eighth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Eight
      flights of
      steps to walk up to get the 400 pound person who is having shortness
      of breath
      since LAST Christmas and can't walk...oh, and of course, the
      elevator doesn't
      work...7 cars a crunching, six reports a writing, Five minutes to
      eat. 4 AM
      shuttle, CPR in progress, 2 MG of Narcan, and grandma who fell and
      hurt her
      knee...

      On the ninth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me Nine
      blankets needed to
      cover up grandpa because he is freezing and we aren't even out of
      the house yet
      but thinks he will get pneumonia and die for all of the 10 seconds
      we are
      outside...Eight flights of stairs, should have stayed home and
      bought off of
      Ebay, six reporst I'm writing...Five minutes to eat.....What the
      Hell time is
      it, should have paid the kid, 2MG of Narcan, and grandma who fell
      and hurt her
      knee.

      On the Tenth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...Ten
      Minutes till I can
      get a bed in the ER because the nurses are busy figuring out who is
      going to
      lunch next....Nine blankets needed, Hope fire department is coming,
      7 cars a
      crunching, six reports I need to write, Five minutes to eat...Can't
      you wait
      till morning, sick a fork in him, he's done, Man I hope she shuts
      up..and
      grandma who fell and hurt her knee.

      On the Eleventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Eleven
      times I
      tried to get the heat to work in the back of the truck and
      maintainence won't
      take the truck in...ten minutes waiting, Nine blankets needed, eight
      flights of
      steps to climb, Hope you have Progressive, Give me a new ink
      pen...Five minutes
      to eat....4 AM is early, 3 Leads all show he's dead, 2 MG won't
      touoch her..and
      grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

      On the Twelth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me..a 12 Gague
      IV needle
      that I put into the drunk 19 year old who tried to swing at me...it
      is really
      freezing, Hope you choke on your sandwich, 9 blankets for grandpa,
      How did you
      get up here in the first place, man your husband is gonna be pissed,
      six
      reports STILL down...five minutes to eat...Better than taking them
      back, Hope I
      recorded the code, Man, just pass out already...and grandma who fell
      and hit her
      knee...

      Merry Christmas