Fw: Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping (Love this one ! )
This is funny!
--- On Mon, 11/22/10, Sami Pollard <samipollard@...> wrote:
From: Sami Pollard <samipollard@...>
Subject: Fw: Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping (Love this one ! )
To: "Ashley Chapman" <ashchap27@...>, "Andrea Huggins" <andihuggins@...>, "Amy Lowery" <amylowery@...>, "alisa geiger" <Dakota2325@...>, "Leslie Fowler" <KLTooda@...>, "Rie Cantwell" <riecant@...>, "Kim Gram" <kimdgram@...>, "Tiffany Hazard" <tiffany_hazard@...>, "jennifer little" <jennlitt76@...>, "Kristen Tribe" <kttribe@...>, "Shelly Reeves" <ksreeves95@...>, "connie lamirand" <Connie@...>, "Marcy Edwards" <edwards6@...>, "Marcy Edwards" <marcyledwards@...>, "Melissa Taylor" <melissamtaylor@...>, "Mike Debra Davenport" <mdavenport1@...>, "Nellie Caddell" <nellie_caddell@...>, "Allison Woody" <akw00e@...>
Date: Monday, November 22, 2010, 6:59 PMI'm sure our husbands would NEVER do this to us....----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Brenda Pollard <bpollard@...>
To: Ryan Pollard <RPollard@...>; rushingc@...; Arvilla Skinner <rvingram1517@...>; robin.zerr@...; Cissy (Ella) Barclay <cissyb@...>; Cari Robinette <cari@...>; Cindy Martin <terrymartin001@...>; Sami Pollard <samipollard@...>; Kay Lynn Sullivan <sparkleranch@...>; Pat Silhavy <siltexan@...>; Kristi.Rodriguez@...; vondabaize58@...; capolley@...; Gail Chambers <gail.d.chambers@...>; ehopeking@...; Jessica Batson <jessicabatson@...>; Pat Amarantos <patsya76@...>; teri.states@...; William Rushing <vnvtex@...>
Sent: Mon, November 22, 2010 12:23:42 PM
Subject: FW: Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping (Love this one ! )
WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her
trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is
like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received
the following letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your
husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading
to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs
9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna
look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
One of the clerks passed out.
If you don't send this to 12 of your dearest friends for a good laugh, your
property taxes will go up, your stocks will go down, and your middle
will spread. (How's that for a curse?!?) What? It's already come
true? Then send it anyway--you' ve got nothin' to lose!