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Re: [METHADONIA ] Re: Clinic Harrassment

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  • claude
    Sherryl, I hope you are getting yourself back on track at least you realize your plan had some flaws and hopefully you will never repeat this again btw who
    Message 1 of 10 , Dec 30, 2009
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      Sherryl, I hope you are getting yourself back on track at least you realize your plan had some flaws and hopefully you will never repeat this again btw who told you methadone was toxic it is so far from the truth methadone is a liver friendly medication and a safe one when use properly and due to the long life it is a medication that you must use patience when tapering off, there is no short cuts with this medication.
      Claude
      ----- Original Message -----
      From: Sherryl Sagendorf
      To: DOLOPHINEA_CAFE@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Sunday, December 27, 2009 11:52 AM
      Subject: Re: [METHADONIA ] Re: Clinic Harrassment



      Hi Terry and Dianne,

      I tried to find your number but my brain isn't functioning quite well yet (never again?) and I could not find it. As it turned out, it was a "really bad plan" to detox myself off of methadone my way. I must be extremely dense because I've done this same thing 4-5 times now. Son of a bitch.
      I took my last methadone dose (at 90 mg from 200mg) more than a week ago Wed am. I jumped off at 90 mg and fell flat on my face. Again. Really bad plan. I thought they were harrassing me and they really were just doing their job (not well or respectfully however) and keeping me and the methadone safe. Like, I waged war and became obsessed with the clinic since Dec. 3rd when they refused to give me my takehomes so I could work in another county. I'm sure I made quite a scene. Humility now, though. I've been humbled.
      I ended up falling out in a parking lot. I drove to the store that night to get cigarettes and my knees just crumpled. Woke up 3:45am in withdrawal; my house a mess and my life a disaster again. Repeating the same nightmare on purpose. My perspective was tweaked. Apparently I had taken every pill I had thinking that they weren't working so I kept taking another one until I passed out. Finally, had to go to the ER Sunday am because my stomache was cramping so bad and my respiration was depressed so I had to gasp for air continually. That was a particularly humiliating experience, when I lurked down the hallway barely able to walk let alone walk strait to give a urine sample. The doctor was way unsympathetic and spent 5 minutes maybe telling me that "though my goal was commendable my plan was bad". I was like no shit! @ that point, I knew I had had a bad plan, was in trouble and needed help. Which is why I went to the ER.
      So they hydrated me via IV and gave me a shot in the butt for nausea. My stomache was cramping so bad I really thought it was going to blow-up. The time at the ER gave me the couple minutes of relief that I would looke forward to everday during this long week that helped me get thru it. Usually the days were the worst and relief would come towards evening. The morphine would kick in and I would start to laugh and act bizarre. My thoughts would become speedy.
      My new, Suboxone doctors plan was to switch from being hooked on the methadone by getting me on morphine, and then switching the morphine to Suboxone, since methadone is such a toxic and tenacious medication. It was a bitch to get off of the methadone. I can hadly believe that I made it 10 days now without it. Yeeha! I'm alive and my body is aching.
      Anyway, that's my story, sticking to it, etc...
      Give me a call when you have time. My number is 727-947-0716 or 505-0721.

      Thanks for listening.

      Sherryl

      --- On Wed, 12/9/09, Terry and Dianne <terryndi5@...> wrote:

      From: Terry and Dianne <terryndi5@...>
      Subject: Re: [METHADONIA ] Re: Clinic Harrassment
      To: DOLOPHINEA_CAFE@yahoogroups.com
      Date: Wednesday, December 9, 2009, 6:25 PM



      Sherryl,

      If I can help in anyway please get in touch with me. You can
      call me if you want. My number is on the NAMA chapter list.

      Terry Cox
      N.TX NAMA Recovery MAT
      Together we WILL make a difference

      ----- Original Message -----
      From: Sherryl Sagendorf<mailto:bsfish425@yahoo. com>
      To: DOLOPHINEA_CAFE@ yahoogroups. com<mailto:DOLOPHINEA_CAFE@ yahoogroups. com>
      Sent: Wednesday, December 09, 2009 3:26 PM
      Subject: Re: [METHADONIA ] Re: Clinic Harrassment

      Hi Rokki,

      The treatment team decided not to give me my take homes back for another 3 months today. Their reason was that I pulled a negative for methadone on my last supervised UA, despite my telling the nurses that I had been throwing-up prior to dosing (none of the nurses had me sit there for 30 minutes post-dosing which is the protocol here in Florida, if you're nauseaus or sick). Turns out I had (documented) Swine Flu the entire week.
      So I told my counsleor to 'ask' for an against medical advice detox of two weeks. I'm on 200mg so its going to be rough. But my point is that these people will just string me along for another 3 months and then say no take homes again. So, its not just the principle of the matter, but the fact that I can't trust them to actually do what they say because they haven't so far.
      I have made the precaution of making an appt with a pain doctor who is on the Suboxene NAMA list. He can't see me until the 18th of Dec and I'm not sure if he'll even do anything for me.
      I can start the detox all by myself by simply refusing to pay tommorrow. They'll bring me down 20 mg a day til I hit 100mg and then 10 mg a day til I hit zero. I have one bottle of hydrocodone 750/7.5 as a back up. I'm not sure how much that will help when this gets really bad.
      I'm scared to death because I already have chronic long term depression, so I know how bad this can get. They finally let me talk to the director today after I officially turned in my complaint form and she lied to my face regarding stating that if I drove home and brought my meds back to be counted and the count was correct, I would get my take homes that day. She flat out lied to me.
      Another client in line told me that there is already a law suit against Dana, the director and this clinic in particular (Operation Par, New Port Richey Florida). Is there anyway to find out if this is true or not? I've tried to go thru the agency's "ethics committee" and their complaint process and that has only gotten me more harrassment. Everyother day they been either swabbing me or Urine screening me. Next, they'll likely want a body cavity search (kidding, I hope). The stress of this ordeal is destroying my relationship. And I'm so scared and depressed that I find it hard to care really. Plus, I know how ugly detox is and I don't want her to see me like that/put her or myself through that.
      I need ideas regarding how to detox w/o the help of the clinic, i.e. valium, Klonipin, anything really.

      Thanks,

      Sherryl

      --- On Tue, 12/8/09, Roxanne B <prezrokki@comcast. net<mailto:prezrokki% 40comcast. net>> wrote:

      From: Roxanne B <prezrokki@comcast. net<mailto:prezrokki% 40comcast. net>>
      Subject: [METHADONIA ] Re: Clinic Harrassment
      To: DOLOPHINEA_CAFE@ yahoogroups. com<mailto:DOLOPHINEA_ CAFE%40yahoogrou ps.com>
      Date: Tuesday, December 8, 2009, 4:16 PM

      One piece of advice here. It's not gonna hurt them if you go into a fast withdrawal. It will hurt only yourself so PLEASE do not ask to be quickly tapered. No one wins then and you suffer ...there is no reason for you to go through that. Your taking a maintenance medication,much like Insulin or heart medication. To stop would only hurt what you have built up for yourself. Is it worth it to throw it all away? I say NO.....Can you tell me what part of the States your in? I'm an Advocate in CA. If you are in CA I can help You. I don't remember now if you stated what State your in. You can always write to me in private and let me know. I totally respect a patients Confidentiality. It's mine and NAMA Recovery's 1st priority,always!

      Really think about who wins if you taper,certainly not you.

      Hang in There,

      Rokki

      --- In DOLOPHINEA_CAFE@ yahoogroups. com, "bsfish425" <bsfish425@. ..> wrote:
      >
      > Hi Roxanne,
      >
      > Thanks for the response, I feel so alone and targetted. I've asked to see both the director and the doctor 3x and been denied/disregarded by my counselor, who wants to handle this via treatment team where I can't attend and do not have a voice. This past week they've drug screened me 4 times in one week. It's like payback (which another counselor had warned me about when she read the complaint I wrote to the doctor and director). I'm at the point where I'm ready to detox myself because I cannot stand the constant harrassment everyday.
      > I will contact the NAMA rep that you spoke of because I'm really at my breaking point. It's horrible living under the thumb of these unprofessional and hostile staff who hold such power over you.
      > At treatment team tommorrow they are taking up the issues I brought up, including whether to give me my take homes back. I told my counselor that I plan to detox hard and fast if they decide not to give them back because attending the clinic everyday under these circumstances is devastating me emotionally and mentally. I didn't present it as a threat, simply as a plan B.
      >
      > Again, thanks for the comraderie
      >
      > --- In DOLOPHINEA_CAFE@ yahoogroups. com, "Roxanne B" <prezrokki@> wrote:
      > >
      > > Have you tried to take care of this at programs level? It sounds like you have. Did you meet with the Director and let Them know you would like to keep this at program level? If you can't get a rise there go to www.methadone. org and look up the Florida rep for NAMA Recovery who is Nan W. Contact her,e-mail,and see what you 2 can come up with. There are many ways to deal with this...You do have rights as a patient,quiet as it's kept..:)
      > >
      > > Rokki
      > >
      > > --- In DOLOPHINEA_CAFE@ yahoogroups. com, "bsfish425" <bsfish425@> wrote:
      > > >
      > > > I've been clean at the PAR (Florida) clinic for 5 years, then lost my job, my aunt & father died, etc...I relapsed with coke and was caught and subsequently lost my take homes for 3 months. The 3 months passed with all clean urines and I should have been given my take homes back on November 15th, but the very day that my TH were to be given back to me, a nurse said I looked "slow" (I was subsequently diagnosed with Swine Flu which explained why I looked awful)and demanded a UA. The UA was left unattended for 10 minutes by staff so they could/would not use it, counted it against me and keep putting off giving me back my THs by saying that "we need to review the issue at treatment team". Meanwhile, I lost my new job due to not being able to get there on-time (due to not receiving take-homes) and I've made a formal complaint which has resulted in the nurses treating me really unprofessionally. I'm so upset, that I'm getting ready to detox myself (I'm
      at 200mg). Any suggestions re: recourse to clinic's treatment of me and also how to detox myself off of 200mg w/o going crazy. The only other clinic is one hour away and they won't honor my previous 6 takehomes/5 years clean time unless my present clinic says that I presently have them.
      > > >
      > >
      >

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