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FUN: EuroEnglish

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  • karel6005@hotmail.com
    Maybe some of the Svepomoc fans would recall the meeting of the late University of U Buvola the other day, when we did the exercise in EuroSpeak using the
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 29, 2001
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      Maybe some of the Svepomoc fans would recall the meeting of the late
      University of U Buvola the other day, when we did the exercise
      in "EuroSpeak" using the text I took the liberty to present. Since
      this peculiar dialect is rather my bread and butter almost on a daily
      basis, I was particularly pleased by the following notice, which I
      would like to share with you:

      "The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
      been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
      communications, rather than German, which was found not so feasible,
      as it will become clear from the following text. As part of the
      difficult negotiations Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
      spelling has some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
      phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

      "In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
      Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the
      hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up
      konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

      "There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
      troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words
      like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

      "In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
      expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
      possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters,
      which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
      agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
      disgrasful, and they would go.

      "By the fourth year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
      replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

      "During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
      kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
      kombinations of leters.

      "After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
      no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
      ech ozer.

      "Ze drem wil finali kum tru."

      ;) Karel
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