Re: some thursday morning fun
- --- In Czechlist@yahoogroups.com, Dohnalová Kateøina <Katerina.Dohnalova@m.=..> wrote:
> Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want =your type in here"Oh, NOW I get it. Yes, very good. Tee-he.
Here's some of my favourite put-downs. Anybody got any good Czech ones?
While you remain at home your hair is at the hairdresser's; you take out your teeth at night and sleep tucked away in a hundred cosmetics boxes - even your face does not sleep with you.
- - - Martial, 1st Century AD (to a female friend)
I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland.
- - - Eugene McCarthy
She's descended from a long line her mother listened to.
- - - Gypsy Rose Lee
Stay with me; I want to be alone.
- - - Joey Adams
They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.
- - - Thomas Brackett Reed
When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?
- - - David Letterman
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
- - - -Moses Hadas
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- - - Oscar Wilde
He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.
- - - Samuel Johnson
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.
- - - Paul Keating
He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
- - - Mark Twain
He was trying to save both his faces.
- - - John Gunther
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
- - - Oscar Wilde
She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious.
- - - W. Somerset Maugham
She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers.
- - - Alexander Woollcott
So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
- - - Alan Bennett
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
- - - Groucho Marx
I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.
- - - Steven Pearl
I thought men like that shot themselves.
- - - King George V
The gods too are fond of a joke.
- - - Aristotle
We've been through so much together, and most of it was your fault.
- - - Ashleigh Brilliant
You have delighted us long enough.
- - - Jane Austen
- On 8/3/03 8:21 AM, "melvyn.geo" <zehrovak@...> wrote:
> Stay with me; I want to be alone.Oh boy, new goodies for my sig collection. (Time to start retiring some more
> - - - Joey Adams
of the Dubya quotes I think.)
I can eat glass and it doesn't hurt me.