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Earl Wilson on Crosleys.

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  • LouRugani
    New York Herald American, November 20, 1947: EARL WILSON The man of the Hour (After Midnight) THE NEWEST laugh chaff is the Crosley car. They say you don t
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 22, 2009
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      New York Herald American, November 20, 1947:

      EARL

      WILSON

      The man of the Hour (After Midnight)

      THE NEWEST laugh chaff

      is the Crosley car. They say you don't order a Crosley now—you just get fitted for one. A woman went into Macy's, where they sell the car, to get a Crosley for her husband. "Yes, Madam," the salesman said, "what sleeve length?"

      A Crosley's so convenient - you don't park it. You wear it on the end of your watch chain.

      A Broadway wolf grumbled "I used to take my girl out in my car to neck - now I take her out of my car to neck."

      Powel Crosley, the Cincinnati multimillionaire, took me riding in his personal Crosley. "Jokes don't hurt any, they help," he said.

      An expert driver, he sliced between two trucks. " Wouldn't have made it in a big car," he said. Crosley — to me a great man —dislikes hearing his car called a midget auto. "It's a small car," he said.

      Powel Crosley, Jr.:

      "People ask me if I'm not afraid of getting hit by truck.

      I reply, "Do you deliberately run over dogs or children because they're smaller? You give them MORE room!"

      I heard at Macy's that a customer ordered two Crosleys for birthday gifts and asked that they be delivered at certain doorsteps wrapped in cellophane. 

      If you have a Crosley and also have a chauffeur, where does the chauffeur sit?

      Home, probably. . .

      You'd think some of these Crosleys would be tighter than Kate Smith's girdle after Thanksgiving dinner but Senator Claghorn (Kenny Delmar), who's had two, finds them very roomy. 

      "Ah used to carry a Crosley 'stead of a spare tire on mah big cah," the Senator said. "Then Ah gave up mah big cah." When the Fred Allen program goes to Ford, Claghorn will drive, if you-all pardon the expression, a Lincoln."

      There's a kinship between to

      day's Crosley jokes and the 1934 Ford jokes. They're mostly "size" jokes. For example: "You can't buy a Crosley under the table but you can keep it under the table." A Crosley's easy to park—put it in the kitchen cabinet with the other tinware. Crosleys (Fords) are thick as fleas in this town; yes, but not much thicker. If a Ford (Crosley) hogs the road, don't go around it; go over it. Once I wrote a brilliant essay about Ford jokes and learned later that Henry Ford had hired Irvin S. Cobb to write Ford gags. Ford offered Cobb $5 cash for his jokes or a  hunk of stock. Cobb, being a writer, was no dunce. He took the $5 cash.

      I wish to say that I do not own a Crosley. Sir Crosley did not mention giving me one, and I hope he doesn't. I would have to decline because I am a journalist and we journalists,cannot accept small cars from anybody. We journalists have to save room in our pockets for our notebooks.

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