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Fwd: Fw: FUNNY

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  • David Towery
    Shonda Towery Confederate Legion Headquarters P.O. Box 159 Jasper TN 37347 noah cooke wrote: Date: Mon, 4 Dec 2006 12:15:40 -0800
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 5, 2006
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      Shonda Towery
      Confederate Legion Headquarters
      P.O. Box 159
      Jasper TN 37347

      noah cooke <cherokeenoah@...> wrote:
      Date: Mon, 4 Dec 2006 12:15:40 -0800 (PST)
      From: noah cooke <cherokeenoah@...>
      Subject: Fwd: Fw: FUNNY
      To: alan bradley <hogeye265@...>,
      Mark Buck <bassmanxtrordnr2003@...>, tom christain <txian@...>,
      Scott Cleghorn <scottcleghorn@...>,
      noah cooke <cherokeenoah@...>, Chas Cowles <cscowles@...>,
      mike drake <mickyddog@...>, gary <chicknhead30@...>,
      M EUGENE HENLEY <mhenley2@...>,
      Wanda Middleton <leglesstoo@...>,
      "D. Ray Perdue Jr." <editor_odn@...>,
      william potter <wpotter@...>,
      Charlie Stewart <redwingsfan51@...>,
      David Towery <confederate.david@...>,
      carl twofeathers <twofeathers_carl@...>, vickie <gasp441@...>


      Subject: FUNNY


      It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
      admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into Heaven, you
      had to have a really bad day on the day that you died. The policy would
      go into effect at noon the next day.

      So, the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
      The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly asked the
      man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going
      when you died."

      "No problem," the man said. "I came home to my 25th-floor apartment on
      my lunch hour and caught my wife having an affair. But her lover was
      nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was
      half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.

      Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the
      balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his
      fingertips! The nerve of that guy!

      Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he
      fell to the ground.

      But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke
      his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me o ff even more.

      In a rage, I went back inside to get the first heavy thing I could get
      my hands on to throw at him.

      Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I
      unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the
      side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him!

      The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and
      died almost instantly."

      The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a
      bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir.
      Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.

      A few seconds later the next guy came up. To the Angel's surprise, it
      was Donald Trump.

      "Mr. Trump, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day
      was like when you died."

      Trump said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on
      the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had
      been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my
      stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally
      fell over the side!

      Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony
      below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his
      apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers We ll, of course I
      fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom, which broke my fall, so
      I didn't die right away.

      As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in
      excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things
      off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing
      me instantly."

      The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as Trump finishes his story. "I
      could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well,"
      the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets
      Trump enter.

      A few seconds later, Bill Clinton comes up to the gate. The Angel is
      almost too shocked to speak. Thoughts of assassination and war pour
      through the Angel's head. Finally he says, "Mr. President, please tell
      me what it was like the day you died."

      Clinton says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked, inside a refrigerator......"

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