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Thank God I speak this language.

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  • skipperhe@wmconnect.com
    Thanks Charlie...... I LOVE Being Southern! _____ Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don t
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 26, 2005
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      Thanks Charlie......

      I LOVE Being Southern!
      _____

      Only a Southerner knows the difference between a
      hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't
      "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
      _____

      Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,
      turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
      _____

      Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the
      general direction of "yonder."
      _____

      Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is
      -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
      _____

      Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is
      not a request for the white, granular sweet substance
      that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the
      table.
      _____

      All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They
      might not use the term, but they know the concept
      well.
      _____

      Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best
      gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is
      a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold
      potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
      crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
      _____

      Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference
      between "right near" and "a right far piece." They
      also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or
      20.
      _____

      Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the
      difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po'
      white trash.
      _____

      No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with
      the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a
      turn.
      _____

      A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun,
      a verb, or an adverb.
      _____

      Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines.
      We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're
      "in line," we talk to everybody!
      _____

      Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
      discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
      _____

      Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
      _____

      Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat
      them.
      _____

      Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
      grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red
      eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried
      green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
      _____

      When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
      lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a
      genuine Southerner!
      _____

      Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet
      milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots
      of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet
      milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
      _____

      And a true Southerner knows you don't scream
      obscenities at little old
      ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,
      "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
      _____

      To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by
      your Southerness:
      Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and
      call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
      _____

      And to those of you who are still having a hard time
      understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your
      hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on
      Southernness as a second language!
      _____

      And for those that are not from the South but have
      lived here for a long
      time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch
      that reads "I aint from the South but I got here as
      fast as I could."
      _____

      Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day.
      _____

      Mom, Apple Pie & Gen. Robert E. Lee


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