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Thank God I speak this language.

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  • skipperhe@wmconnect.com
    Thanks Charlie...... I LOVE Being Southern! _____ Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don t
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 26, 2005
      Thanks Charlie......

      I LOVE Being Southern!

      Only a Southerner knows the difference between a
      hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't
      "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

      Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,
      turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

      Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the
      general direction of "yonder."

      Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is
      -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

      Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is
      not a request for the white, granular sweet substance
      that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the

      All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They
      might not use the term, but they know the concept

      Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best
      gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is
      a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold
      potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
      crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

      Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference
      between "right near" and "a right far piece." They
      also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or

      Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the
      difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po'
      white trash.

      No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with
      the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a

      A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun,
      a verb, or an adverb.

      Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines.
      We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're
      "in line," we talk to everybody!

      Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
      discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

      Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."

      Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat

      Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
      grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red
      eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried
      green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

      When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
      lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a
      genuine Southerner!

      Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet
      milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots
      of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet
      milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

      And a true Southerner knows you don't scream
      obscenities at little old
      ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,
      "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

      To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by
      your Southerness:
      Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and
      call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

      And to those of you who are still having a hard time
      understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your
      hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on
      Southernness as a second language!

      And for those that are not from the South but have
      lived here for a long
      time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya'lls front porch
      that reads "I aint from the South but I got here as
      fast as I could."

      Bless your hearts, ya'll have a blessed day.

      Mom, Apple Pie & Gen. Robert E. Lee

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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