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367Chi Rho Reflection for the Week of August 14, 2005

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  • Adam Debaugh
    Aug 14, 2005
      Chi Rho Reflection for the Week of August 14, 2005


      Dear sisters and brothers in Christ,

      You have not heard from us since July 17 and we would
      like to explain what has been going on. We were in
      Calgary, Alberta, Canada for the UFMCC International
      General Conference, which was a wonderful and inspiring
      event. Then upon our return we found a virus had attacked
      our computer, basically destroying it.

      Thanks to the wonderful Mark Teitelbaum at Terminal Data
      Corp., we are up and running again with a brand new computer.
      And all the Chi Rho Press data saved. In addition, we have
      spiffy new anti-virus software, lots more memory, and a
      really good back-up system.

      We are slowly getting through all the back e-mails and will
      be publishing a new Chi Rho Connection this week. In the
      meantime, this week's edition of the Chi Rho Reflection is
      here for you.

      Thanks to all our friends and supporters who wondered where
      we have been. It is good to be back and fully functional

      As one of the on-going ministries of Chi Rho
      Press, here is a selection from our new book
      of daily devotions, "Living as the Beloved:
      One Day at a Time," by the Rev. Dr. Sandra

      Please read the Scripture passage and Dr. Bochonok's
      meditation. We hope you will be blessed.

      Thank you for forwarding this to your friends.

      Direct and loving confrontation

      "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault,
      between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have
      gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one
      or two others along with you, that every word may be
      confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If
      he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and
      if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to
      you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
      Matthew 18:15-17

      Benjamin Franklin wrote, "Those things that hurt, instruct."
      Sometimes the truth hurts. Tough love might lead us to
      privately speak with another and honestly share how we have
      been injured by another's words and actions. In our
      relationships with others diplomacy and respect often
      win us a hearing to share our truth. But there are times
      when diplomacy is not always helpful. Sometimes we must
      be more direct and to the point. Loving confrontation is

      I appreciate this teaching of Jesus. He is refreshingly
      honest and uncomplicated. It is much easier to gossip and
      criticize people behind their backs. It takes courage to
      approach a person who has sinned against us and tell it
      like it is from our perspective. While this teaching is
      often the foundation of church discipline, it also offers
      us rich insights about individual conflict resolution.

      Always approach the other person privately and try to
      resolve the issue at the source of contention. Remember
      that respect is a holy word and that diplomacy might
      open a more frank and honest conversation. Have the
      courage to humbly confront and the grace to listen.
      But be very careful. We are not always right in our
      judgments, fervent opinions, and beliefs.

      Just the other day I saw two friends have the courage
      to live this teaching in their interpersonal conflict.
      One woman had been extremely upset and deeply offended
      by an embarrassing comment made by a trusted and valued
      friend. The friend had unintentionally but publicly
      hurt her feelings with a thoughtless comment. The
      offended woman made the effort to privately approach
      her friend and share how the comment embarrassed and
      angered her. Her friend was mortified and apologized
      profusely. Their friendship was actually strengthened
      through honest, direct, and caring conversation. They
      were able to reach a peaceable resolution and deeper

      There are no guarantees that all conflict and hurt can
      be resolved at this personal level. Honesty can be a
      risky business. Wisdom encourages us to try to resolve
      issues privately whenever possible.

      God, is there anyone I need to approach privately in
      loving honesty? Give me the courage to act on this
      teaching of Jesus. Amen.

      Grace and peace,

      Chi Rho Press

      Please visit the Chi Rho Press Web site. You can order
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