367Chi Rho Reflection for the Week of August 14, 2005
- Aug 14, 2005Chi Rho Reflection for the Week of August 14, 2005
Dear sisters and brothers in Christ,
You have not heard from us since July 17 and we would
like to explain what has been going on. We were in
Calgary, Alberta, Canada for the UFMCC International
General Conference, which was a wonderful and inspiring
event. Then upon our return we found a virus had attacked
our computer, basically destroying it.
Thanks to the wonderful Mark Teitelbaum at Terminal Data
Corp., we are up and running again with a brand new computer.
And all the Chi Rho Press data saved. In addition, we have
spiffy new anti-virus software, lots more memory, and a
really good back-up system.
We are slowly getting through all the back e-mails and will
be publishing a new Chi Rho Connection this week. In the
meantime, this week's edition of the Chi Rho Reflection is
here for you.
Thanks to all our friends and supporters who wondered where
we have been. It is good to be back and fully functional
As one of the on-going ministries of Chi Rho
Press, here is a selection from our new book
of daily devotions, "Living as the Beloved:
One Day at a Time," by the Rev. Dr. Sandra
Please read the Scripture passage and Dr. Bochonok's
meditation. We hope you will be blessed.
Thank you for forwarding this to your friends.
Direct and loving confrontation
"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault,
between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have
gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one
or two others along with you, that every word may be
confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If
he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and
if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to
you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
Benjamin Franklin wrote, "Those things that hurt, instruct."
Sometimes the truth hurts. Tough love might lead us to
privately speak with another and honestly share how we have
been injured by another's words and actions. In our
relationships with others diplomacy and respect often
win us a hearing to share our truth. But there are times
when diplomacy is not always helpful. Sometimes we must
be more direct and to the point. Loving confrontation is
I appreciate this teaching of Jesus. He is refreshingly
honest and uncomplicated. It is much easier to gossip and
criticize people behind their backs. It takes courage to
approach a person who has sinned against us and tell it
like it is from our perspective. While this teaching is
often the foundation of church discipline, it also offers
us rich insights about individual conflict resolution.
Always approach the other person privately and try to
resolve the issue at the source of contention. Remember
that respect is a holy word and that diplomacy might
open a more frank and honest conversation. Have the
courage to humbly confront and the grace to listen.
But be very careful. We are not always right in our
judgments, fervent opinions, and beliefs.
Just the other day I saw two friends have the courage
to live this teaching in their interpersonal conflict.
One woman had been extremely upset and deeply offended
by an embarrassing comment made by a trusted and valued
friend. The friend had unintentionally but publicly
hurt her feelings with a thoughtless comment. The
offended woman made the effort to privately approach
her friend and share how the comment embarrassed and
angered her. Her friend was mortified and apologized
profusely. Their friendship was actually strengthened
through honest, direct, and caring conversation. They
were able to reach a peaceable resolution and deeper
There are no guarantees that all conflict and hurt can
be resolved at this personal level. Honesty can be a
risky business. Wisdom encourages us to try to resolve
issues privately whenever possible.
God, is there anyone I need to approach privately in
loving honesty? Give me the courage to act on this
teaching of Jesus. Amen.
Grace and peace,
Chi Rho Press
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