Re: [CentralTexasGeocachers] Fw: Upshot of all those forwards (JOKE)
- Hey! you forgot the free dinner from Applebee's!!!!
[And don't flash your lights when driving.....]
*sigh* It would be funnier if folks didn't really Believe....
On Wed, 28 Sep 2005 14:36:39 -0500 "Philip C. Mason"
> Sent: Wednesday, September 28, 2005 11:54 AM@,.-:*'``'*:-.,@,.-:*'``'*:-.,@
> > Dear Friends and Family Members,
> > I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to
> > send me your damn chain letters over the past few years. Yes,
> > you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of what's left of my
> heart for
> > making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
> > Because of your concern...I no longer can drink Coca Cola
> because it
> > can remove toilet stains.
> > I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get
> sick from
> > the rat feces and urine.
> > I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes
> > I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I
> could be
> > pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
> > I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell
> like a
> > water buffalo on a hot day
> > I no longer use margarine because it's one molecule away from
> > plastic.
> > I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me
> with a
> > perfume sample and rob me.
> > I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are
> > actually
> > Al Qaeda in disguise.
> > I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to
> dial a
> > stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with
> calls to
> > Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
> > I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually
> > mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
> > I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my
> > and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
> > I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I
> now have
> > their recipe.
> > I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
> > out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
> > Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my
> prayers if I
> > forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within
> > minutes.
> > (Geez, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)
> > I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl
> who is
> > about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
> > I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once
> > receive
> > the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
> > participating in their special e-mail program.
> > Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking
> out for
> > me!
> > I will now return the favor.
> > If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the
> next 60
> > seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00
> PM this
> > afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your
> armpits. I
> > know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a
> > of
> > a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my
> next door
> > neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd
> > ex-wife's mother's beautician! Have a wonderful day!!!!!
> > _________________________________________________________________
> > Express yourself instantly with MSN Messenger! Download today -
> it's FREE!
> > http://messenger.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200471ave/direct/01/
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I was born modest. Not all over, but in spots. --Mark Twain
I know the voices aren't real.
But some of their ideas are good. --seen on a t-shirt