Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

Suddenly, a pirate ship loomed over the horizon. CRAFT

Expand Messages
  • MarilynnByerly@aol.com
    ... synonym or phrase. The reader is usually smart enough to know the fighters in a physical battle are moving fast so everything is suddenly unless we say
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 1 12:31 PM
    • 0 Attachment
      QUESTION: In action scenes, I use the phrases "suddenly" or "all of a sudden" a ridiculous amount of times when describing fast paced action scenes. What other words or phrases can I use?

      If you write the scene correctly, you don't need "suddenly" or any other synonym or phrase.  The reader is usually smart enough to know the fighters in a physical battle are moving fast so everything is "suddenly" unless we say otherwise.

      The trick is to get into the head of one of the characters and stay there.  Let the reader see what the character sees and feel what the character feels.

      You don't say,

      "Suddenly, the other fighter pulled out his knife and jabbed at him."

      You say,

      "Sam dodged the other man's fist.  The hand that should have been blocking his next blow moved downward toward the man's knife sheath. 

      A flash of steel. 

      Throwing himself backward away from the other man's knife, Sam slammed into the ground on his back." 


      Or, if you are describing a battle of many men, you don't say

      "Suddenly, a line of cavalry surged over the top of the hill toward them."

      You say,

      "On the hill just above them, the drumming of many horse hooves and the Rebel yell of hundreds of men warned them. 

      The soldiers spun around as the Confederate cavalry charged down the hill toward them."

      ARTICLE ON ROYALTIES  Fiction Factor has a useful article on how royalties are figures. 
      http://www.fictionfactor.com/guests/royaltiescalculated.html 

      While you're there, check out their article archives and sign up for Fiction Factor



      **************
      It's only a deal if it's where you want to go. Find your travel deal here.
      (http://information.travel.aol.com/deals?ncid=aoltrv00050000000047)
    Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.