From: Uncle Ernie
Here's this week's rant...
A Comedy Of Terrors
By Ernest Stewart
"I have seen the future baby, it is murder."
The Future --- Leonard Cohen
We're going to war, on the backs of the poor."
3rd World War --- DJ Monkey
I realized the other day that in the time it's taken Bush to lose the "war on terror" we defeated the real axis, some real loony toons with lots of real WMD's! Of course our mission then was to kick ass, take names and come home. Our mission today is to hold those permanent military bases we've been building with those trillions of dollars! What, you thought we were spending that money to rebuild Iraq? If that's the case you'd better check your medication my friends!
December 7, 1941 through September 2, 1945 is approximately 46 months while September 11, 2001 through September 11, 2006 is 60 months. Ergo it took a year and 2 months less to fight and destroy the largest and most well equipped armies on Earth, while Bush can't find a 6 ft 5 in tall Arab attached to a kidney dialysis machine in five long years. Compare and contrast how Clinton rounded up all the original WTC terrorists in a few months and put them all away. In fact Bush gave up long ago trying to find Osama as he said it wasn't important! I wonder why, don't you? Is it because the bin Ladens and Bushes have been thick as thieves for 40 years and are still business partners? Nope there's no time to catch Osama, what with the new war to come in Iran.
Why do we want to bring our war against "terrorism" to Iran, who like their neighbor Iraq is one of the few Muslim countries not involved in 911? The official reason is because they want to have nuclear power like most countries already have. Two of the goons speaking out against this are Cheney and Rummy. You may find it interesting because they both once fought with Gerald Ford until he finally gave in and let the Iranians get a reactor. They now fight to end that program to keep the Iranians from being able to protect themselves from our Zionazi partners who want to extend the joy and wonderment that the Palestinians and Lebanese have come to know to all of Arabia as part of a "Greater Middle Eastern Co-Prosperity Sphere!"(tm) I know it sounds crazy; I mean, who doesn't love those wonderful folks in Tel Aviv? If you answered 90% of the world, you win a cookie.
Of course there is no truth to the rumor that Osama simply went back home to daddy's palatial mansion in Saudi Arabia where he's been seeing the best doctors and having a great time as the Islamic hero that drove Bush out of Saudi Arabia; which is after all what 911 was supposedly all about, wasn't it? If you answered no, you win another cookie! If you have any doubt about that then I suggest that you read what the "Project for the New American Century" or PNAC has to say.
So five years down the line what have we learned about 911? Not much more than we already knew a few days afterwards i.e. that Bush let it happened after being warned by the spooks from eleven countries as to what, when, where, who and why. Was the Junta on board from the beginning in the planning stages of 911? No definite proof but from the evidence available a good prosecutor could make a very strong case for that argument. We have also learned that whatever it was, it wasn't an airliner, that struck the Pentagon. We have confirmed that the American mainstream media is as much at fault and as responsible for the cover-up of both the 12-12-2000 coup d' etat, 911 and it's aftermath i.e. all these lovely OIL wars as are their masters in the Junta. We've also learned that for the most part the American people are the dumbest creatures on the planet, bar none! They will no doubt elect President Hister or Jebthro in 2008 just to prove that the old Mayans and Nostradamus knew what they were talking about!
In Other News
Karl gives the Republican salute
I see where Presidential adviser Karl Rove has crawled out from under his rock to criticized a federal judge's order for an immediate end to the government's warrant less surveillance program, saying that such a program might have prevented the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Rove said...
"The government should be free to listen if al Qaeda is calling someone within the U.S. "Imagine if we could have done that before 9/11. It might have been a different outcome."
This is of course total bullshit on may levels! For example they were warned and knew 911 was coming and let it happened anyway, at the very least. Second all they had to do was get a warrant from the FISA secret court. To my knowledge FISA has yet to refuse a single warrant that they've been asked for and with all the lawyer flunkies that surround the Junta surely one could be assigned to hop across town and get all the warrants they wanted instead of sitting around sniffing Bush's farts (Your tax dollars at work!). No Karl isn't stupid he's just using the ruling to hack away more of our rights and send the message that anyone who disapproves of their treasonous actions are the real traitors. That's the really scary part about the Junta, all of them think they're Napoleon and often use the Imperial we as in "We are not amused!" Cest' la guerre Herr Rove we the people are not amused either. And yes dear reader hanging is way too good an end for the likes of Karl!
Meanwhile the Old Grey Bitch er Lady rolled over on its back for a good scratching from Tony "the Poodle" the other day for not allowing certain people (those subscribers from England) to have access to a story concerning Britain's "Coke'n'Mentos terrorists" because they said to do so would violate another country's laws. Even though the same story was run in London newspapers. This is done in the same spirit of Yahoo and Google turning Chinese surfers over to the tender mercies of Beijing body farms for daring to look up bicameral in the search engines.
Of course this is nothing new for the New York Times in fact it's just the latest example of an old Times tradition of not rocking the boat. Whether it's covering up war crimes for Smirky and his Poodle or covering up the Holocaust during World War Two one can always count on the Times to bow down to power, when ever, where ever!
And finally in the magazine this week you can get a free mp3 of this week's song. It's a parody of the Old Johnny Horton song the "Battle of New Orleans." Just visit our "To End On A Happy Note..." department and click on the title link where you can hear and download the song. Y'all keep rockin' in the "free" world!
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So how do you like the 2nd coup d'etat so far?
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Until the next time, Peace Y'all!
(c) 2006 Ernest Stewart a.k.a. Uncle Ernie is an unabashed radical, author, stand-up comic, DJ, actor, political pundit and for the last 5 years managing editor and publisher of "Issues and Alibis" magazine. Contact him at: uncle-ernie@...
. In his spare time he is an actor, writer and an associate producer for the new motion picture "W."
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