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Re: Love

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  • nancy lemke
    i think i have been in this life longer than you have been in yours...and in buddhism longer also....due to my age 64, i have had a longer time to acquire some
    Message 1 of 12 , May 3, 2006
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      i think i have been in this life longer than you have been in
      yours...and in buddhism longer also....due to my age 64, i have had
      a longer time to acquire some wisdom i hope. i learned many years
      ago to accept another right where he is and let the rest go. it's
      not important about the rest of the person. what's important is that
      we can learn to appreciate and accept others as they are. time is
      the answer here. namaste, nan
      --- In Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com, mystkbutterfly
      <mystkbutterfly@...> wrote:
      >
      > Holding love in my heart is much harder than I though
      > it would be!!!! At times its easier than others. I'm
      > really having to WORK to see the good qualities and
      > teachings of adversaries=0) Am I the only one? Does
      > this come easy to the rest of you?
      >
      > Sarah
      >
      > May all living beings have happiness and the causes of happiness;
      > May all living beings be free from misery and the causes of
      misery;
      > May all living beings never be separated from happiness, devoid of
      misery;
      > May all living beings abide in equanimity free from prejudicial
      attachments and aversions.
      >
      > The Buddha
      >
      > "Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts
      of men."
      > --Goethe
      >
      > __________________________________________________
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    • John Pellecchia
      Sarah, I didn t want to appear too curt in my pevious response since sometimes I appear to myself as getting on a soapbox and preaching. So, let s look a
      Message 2 of 12 , May 3, 2006
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        Sarah,

        I didn't want to appear too curt in my pevious response since
        sometimes I appear to myself as getting on a soapbox and preaching.

        So, let's look a little deeper into what I was implying. Love (love of
        self, love of others, love from others) is something for which we all
        strive. Sometimes it appears to come easily but at other times it
        doesn't ever seem to happen. We get into that "clinging" thing
        (desire) again.

        Think of the person from whom you desire love -- be it paternal,
        platonic, friendship or sexual -- and how you have (or had) to work
        diligently in order to accomplish it. It's not easy and, maybe, with
        all your efforts it never seemed to occur. It takes effort and work to
        approach the end goal. That's all I was trying to say. It's not easy
        to love (or at times to receive love) -- that's all.

        I suggest you pick up this book; "Training the Mind and Cultivating
        Loving-Kindness" by Chogyam Trungpa. It's pocket-size and powerful
        (no, I don't get royalties from promoting the book). Pema Chodron
        wrote an updated version entitled "Start Where You Are -- A Guide to
        Compassionate Living." I have both but personally I prefer Trungpa's
        text. You can check them out in you local library or bookstore. Both
        are by Shambhala and cost about $17 US in hardcover (~$10 in paperback
        for Trungpa's). They deal with lojong and tonglen -- I've seen posts
        on this site regarding these practices so you may want to review them.
        Very powerful and have helped me greatly -- but that's another story.
        I do not make recommendations lightly. And, hey, they're cheap books
        -- about the price of a movie. How could you go wrong?

        May all beings be at peace,

        John
      • mystkbutterfly
        Nan said: think i have been in this life longer than you have been in yours...and in buddhism longer also....due to my age 64, i have had a longer time to
        Message 3 of 12 , May 3, 2006
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          Nan said: think i have been in this life longer than
          you have been in
          yours...and in buddhism longer also....due to my age
          64, i have had
          a longer time to acquire some wisdom i hope. i
          learned many years
          ago to accept another right where he is and let the
          rest go

          ***well definatly since I'm 26 and a buddhist
          beginner. But I'm curious what your advice looks like
          in action, for instance, in a conversation...?

          Sarah

          May all living beings have happiness and the causes of happiness;
          May all living beings be free from misery and the causes of misery;
          May all living beings never be separated from happiness, devoid of misery;
          May all living beings abide in equanimity free from prejudicial attachments and aversions.

          The Buddha

          "Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
          --Goethe

          __________________________________________________
          Do You Yahoo!?
          Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
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        • mystkbutterfly
          John, my boyfriends mother is a ZEn buddhist and she s recommended Pema Chodron also.. So hopefully I can scrounge together the funds to get it =0) (to me even
          Message 4 of 12 , May 3, 2006
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            John, my boyfriends mother is a ZEn buddhist and she's
            recommended Pema Chodron also.. So hopefully I can
            scrounge together the funds to get it =0) (to me even
            10$ is alot!)

            Sarah


            May all living beings have happiness and the causes of happiness;
            May all living beings be free from misery and the causes of misery;
            May all living beings never be separated from happiness, devoid of misery;
            May all living beings abide in equanimity free from prejudicial attachments and aversions.

            The Buddha

            "Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
            --Goethe

            __________________________________________________
            Do You Yahoo!?
            Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
            http://mail.yahoo.com
          • siski aki
            hi Sarah, i find trouble holding adversaries in a good light in my heart at times. this up and down feelings is just our nature, or at least mine. when i feel
            Message 5 of 12 , May 5, 2006
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              hi Sarah,
              i find trouble holding adversaries in a good light in my heart at times. this up and down feelings is just our nature, or at least mine. when i feel ill will toward someone or from someone I pause and breathe in and out a few times. while i am doing that i try to make a mental note of when i may have acted like this. it is true i sometimes don't find love for them, but i am able to drop my expectations of how i think they should act, freeing me from a judgment standpoint. often when i get to that point understanding is born again how i am very much like my fellow man/woman. another practice i have when i feel conflict arise inside i do a mental picture of me with hands folded, a smile on my face ,bowing and saying Namaste to them.
              i am sure this softens my countenance and i get a similar response. a softening.
              so yes, it is a lot of work at times.
              Siski aki
               
               
              ----- Original Message -----
              Sent: 5/3/2006 3:34:32 PM
              Subject: [Buddhism_101] Love

              Holding love in my heart is much harder than I though
              it would be!!!! At times its easier than others. I'm
              really having to WORK to see the good qualities and
              teachings of adversaries=0) Am I the only one? Does
              this come easy to the rest of you?

              Sarah

              May all living beings have happiness and the causes of happiness;
              May all living beings be free from misery and the causes of misery;
              May all living beings never be separated from happiness, devoid of misery;
              May all living beings abide in equanimity free from prejudicial attachments and aversions.

              The Buddha

              "Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
              --Goethe

              __________________________________________________
              Do You Yahoo!?
              Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
              http://mail.yahoo.com
            • John Miller
              I guess I can add my two cents again but one thing I try to do is see that they have probably had to deal with alot of bad stuff in life too and may not have
              Message 6 of 12 , May 5, 2006
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                I guess I can add my two cents again but one thing I try to do is see that
                they have probably had to deal with alot of bad stuff in life too and may
                not have had the benefit of the love and guidance I have received. It
                doesn't absolve them of their actions but I have been able to accept people
                i thought were evil as good as I realize I have alot of work to do and don't
                know everything, well, very little actually. I see how people who know alot
                more than me act towards them, with humility, compassion and love. Like
                when the Dalai Lama meets with people who have done some truly horrible
                things he always approaches them with love and big smiles and is always
                accepted and listened to. I try to use that as my model.

                Be the Change You Wish to See in the World - Gandhi


                ________________________________

                From: Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com [mailto:Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com] On
                Behalf Of siski aki
                Sent: Friday, May 05, 2006 6:17 AM
                To: Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com
                Subject: RE: [Buddhism_101] Love


                hi Sarah,
                i find trouble holding adversaries in a good light in my heart at times.
                this up and down feelings is just our nature, or at least mine. when i feel
                ill will toward someone or from someone I pause and breathe in and out a few
                times. while i am doing that i try to make a mental note of when i may have
                acted like this. it is true i sometimes don't find love for them, but i am
                able to drop my expectations of how i think they should act, freeing me from
                a judgment standpoint. often when i get to that point understanding is born
                again how i am very much like my fellow man/woman. another practice i have
                when i feel conflict arise inside i do a mental picture of me with hands
                folded, a smile on my face ,bowing and saying Namaste to them.
                i am sure this softens my countenance and i get a similar response. a
                softening.
                so yes, it is a lot of work at times.
                Siski aki



                ----- Original Message -----
                From: mystkbutterfly <mailto:mystkbutterfly@...>
                To: Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com
                Sent: 5/3/2006 3:34:32 PM
                Subject: [Buddhism_101] Love

                Holding love in my heart is much harder than I though
                it would be!!!! At times its easier than others. I'm
                really having to WORK to see the good qualities and
                teachings of adversaries=0) Am I the only one? Does
                this come easy to the rest of you?

                Sarah

                May all living beings have happiness and the causes of happiness;
                May all living beings be free from misery and the causes of misery;
                May all living beings never be separated from happiness, devoid of
                misery;
                May all living beings abide in equanimity free from prejudicial
                attachments and aversions.

                The Buddha

                "Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of
                men."
                --Goethe

                __________________________________________________
                Do You Yahoo!?
                Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
                http://mail.yahoo.com




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              • John Pellecchia
                Sarah, A lot of good points in the past two replies. At one point in my varied career(s) I worked with parolees. I would always think to myself It is the act,
                Message 7 of 12 , May 6, 2006
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                  Sarah,

                  A lot of good points in the past two replies. At one point in my
                  varied career(s) I worked with parolees. I would always think to
                  myself "It is the act, not the person, that is reprehensible." It
                  enabled me to get along with some very unusual people.

                  May all be at peace.

                  John

                  --- In Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com, "John Miller" <cuffyz@...> wrote:
                  >
                  > I guess I can add my two cents again but one thing I try to do is
                  see that
                  > they have probably had to deal with alot of bad stuff in life too
                  and may
                  > not have had the benefit of the love and guidance I have received. It
                  > doesn't absolve them of their actions but I have been able to accept
                  people
                  > i thought were evil as good as I realize I have alot of work to do
                  and don't
                  > know everything, well, very little actually. I see how people who
                  know alot
                  > more than me act towards them, with humility, compassion and love. Like
                  > when the Dalai Lama meets with people who have done some truly horrible
                  > things he always approaches them with love and big smiles and is always
                  > accepted and listened to. I try to use that as my model.
                  >
                  > Be the Change You Wish to See in the World - Gandhi
                  >
                  >
                  > ________________________________
                  >
                  > From: Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com
                  [mailto:Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com] On
                  > Behalf Of siski aki
                  > Sent: Friday, May 05, 2006 6:17 AM
                  > To: Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com
                  > Subject: RE: [Buddhism_101] Love
                  >
                  >
                  > hi Sarah,
                  > i find trouble holding adversaries in a good light in my heart at times.
                  > this up and down feelings is just our nature, or at least mine. when
                  i feel
                  > ill will toward someone or from someone I pause and breathe in and
                  out a few
                  > times. while i am doing that i try to make a mental note of when i
                  may have
                  > acted like this. it is true i sometimes don't find love for them,
                  but i am
                  > able to drop my expectations of how i think they should act, freeing
                  me from
                  > a judgment standpoint. often when i get to that point understanding
                  is born
                  > again how i am very much like my fellow man/woman. another practice
                  i have
                  > when i feel conflict arise inside i do a mental picture of me with hands
                  > folded, a smile on my face ,bowing and saying Namaste to them.
                  > i am sure this softens my countenance and i get a similar response. a
                  > softening.
                  > so yes, it is a lot of work at times.
                  > Siski aki
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  > ----- Original Message -----
                  > From: mystkbutterfly <mailto:mystkbutterfly@...>
                  > To: Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com
                  > Sent: 5/3/2006 3:34:32 PM
                  > Subject: [Buddhism_101] Love
                  >
                  > Holding love in my heart is much harder than I though
                  > it would be!!!! At times its easier than others. I'm
                  > really having to WORK to see the good qualities and
                  > teachings of adversaries=0) Am I the only one? Does
                  > this come easy to the rest of you?
                  >
                  > Sarah
                  >
                  > May all living beings have happiness and the causes of happiness;
                  > May all living beings be free from misery and the causes of misery;
                  > May all living beings never be separated from happiness, devoid of
                  > misery;
                  > May all living beings abide in equanimity free from prejudicial
                  > attachments and aversions.
                  >
                  > The Buddha
                  >
                  > "Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of
                  > men."
                  > --Goethe
                  >
                  > __________________________________________________
                  > Do You Yahoo!?
                  > Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
                  > http://mail.yahoo.com
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  > SPONSORED LINKS
                  > Tibetan buddhism
                  >
                  <http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Tibetan+buddhism&w1=Tibetan+buddhism&w2
                  >
                  =Tibetan+incense&w3=Tibetan+rug&w4=Zen+buddhism&c=4&s=78&.sig=WMRU3d46U-dYyo
                  > Zd745AGg> Tibetan incense
                  >
                  <http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Tibetan+incense&w1=Tibetan+buddhism&w2=
                  >
                  Tibetan+incense&w3=Tibetan+rug&w4=Zen+buddhism&c=4&s=78&.sig=jJ6FKOhcZCDTQEw
                  > WZz7YTw> Tibetan rug
                  >
                  <http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Tibetan+rug&w1=Tibetan+buddhism&w2=Tibe
                  >
                  tan+incense&w3=Tibetan+rug&w4=Zen+buddhism&c=4&s=78&.sig=8ON2oNwNS9MBJnCx9cA
                  > wxQ>
                  > Zen buddhism
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                  > nSDg>
                  >
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                  >
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                • SJ Garette
                  Hello All,   Fundamentally, the basis on which you can build a sense of caring for other is the capacity for others is the capacity to love yourself.   (The
                  Message 8 of 12 , Nov 2, 2008
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                    Hello All,
                     
                    Fundamentally, the basis on which you can build a sense of caring for other is the capacity for others is the capacity to love yourself.
                     
                    (The Dalai Lama in The Compassionate Life)
                     
                    Blessings,
                     
                    Jade

                  • SJ Garette
                    Hi Everyone, Compassion is the wish for another being to be free from suffering, love is wanting them to have happiness. (The Dalai Lama in The Compassionate
                    Message 9 of 12 , Feb 24, 2009
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                      Hi Everyone,

                      Compassion is the wish for another being to be free from suffering, love is wanting them to have happiness.

                      (The Dalai Lama in The Compassionate Life)

                      Greetings,

                      Jade
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