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My introduction to the group

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  • CC
    Blessings, My name is Cecilia but my friends call me CC. I have always been of questionable health and last year it all clearly came to fruition. Yesterday I
    Message 1 of 6 , Oct 29, 2004
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      Blessings,

      My name is Cecilia but my friends call me CC. I have always been of
      questionable health and last year it all clearly came to fruition.
      Yesterday I had a Spinal Tap to find out if the only illness that we
      have not truly named is indeed Multiple Sclerosis. In addition to
      that possibility I also have Ulcerative colitis, Degenerative Disc
      Disease and Degenerative Arthritis in my hands and fingers. I am 38
      years old.

      I have always lived a good live as much as I could control, I have
      never drank or done drugs. I never ran around doing dangerously
      outrageous sports or anything like that. I always had the belief
      that if you are follow a truthful and honest existence, good would
      come to you, I have believed that since very young.

      My childhood was in one word miserable due to my fathers alcoholism
      and depression, the physical abuse from my siblings, one of them
      later to be found to have been schizophrenic, and having a very
      cold and distant relationship with my mother.

      I left at 14 years old and stayed with even crazier relatives in the
      west coast of the USA, mainly NY and NJ. When I left I had 3 goals,
      one to live in New York City out of my own money, to get a boa
      constrictor (bad idea when it got hungry and bigger) and to get a
      tattoo (a small one).

      Around my 18th birthday I went back to visit the family and my
      father said to me, besides that only prostitutes and bikers get
      tattoos... You call that a tattoo? Next time make it a bigger one!!..
      And I of course complied with an oriental dragon that covers half of
      my back.

      I have always been that way ever since, I speak the truth, I am
      honest with myself and others. I always keep my promises and I
      learned to forgive.

      I have been practicing meditation for several years now, started
      first as guided imagery a suggestion from one of my many, many
      doctors. Meditation and relaxation techniques as well as some yoga
      stretches prepared me yesterday for my spinal tap. The doctor was
      truly fascinated as my calmness and how easy the procedure was,
      since my body was very relaxed it was really easy for her to find
      the right spot right away, we had the chance of speaking while my
      spinal fluid dripped out (about 15 minutes). At the end she thanked
      me for being such a wonderful patient, I find that amusing.

      I was an avid reader up to 3 years ago, but since the further
      deterioration of my hands prevents me from reading big hard back
      books, my favorites being crime novels, true crime, big trials,
      etc...Just recently I found Ephraim Tutt, (older but goodie) when I
      came to find out my great grandfather was a lawyer, important DA who
      wrote the series of Ephraim Tutt. means nothing to you but mint a
      lot to me because all of my live I have know things that I would
      have not learned yet because of my age, today my husband will talk
      to me about all kinds of questions, some that I am amused about
      because only a trained expert in that field (any field) would be able
      to answer, and I always ask what gives you the idea that I would
      know THAT? And he always says because you always have the answers to
      everything I have ever asked, I don't know why but you do...

      This leads me to believe that what is happened to my body is perhaps
      an old debt I had to pay from a past life and the knowledge I have
      are bits and pieces of probably several lives I have probably
      lived.

      And that is why I am here, in the last year Buddhism has been so
      ever present in my life, we found a marvelous Buddha made out of
      wood at an antique place, we have also found other Buddhist items,
      including some my husband brought from his visit to India before we
      got married (or did they find us?). Deep meditation allows me to
      have some relief from my pain and in my spirituality I am becoming
      more and more Buddhist, I have several books in Buddhism, of course
      books from the Dalai Lama, etc but I need direction to find my path.

      And with that I ask for no pity nor judgment but a helpful hand, a
      few reading recommendations, someone to share with....

      With love and peace..

      --- CC
    • vorian@mail.com
      Cecilia, welcome aboard. (Sorry, I seem to say that to everybody. It s from my sailing days, I guess.) You have, certainly, had more than a liftime s
      Message 2 of 6 , Oct 29, 2004
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        Cecilia, welcome aboard. (Sorry, I seem to say that to everybody. It's from my sailing days, I guess.) You have, certainly, had more than a liftime's suffering. But, if you really are ready, maybe this is just what you need to delve deeper into the Buddhadharma. To find knowledge, there are a myriad of online sites/books/discussion groups that can help, to develop wisdom you will need a qualified teacher/guru. I, of course, recommend a Tibetan Lama. Are you living in the City? Maybe we can find a center near you.
        Here are a couple of websites of publishers that may have books that you may be interested in.

        http://www.snowlionpub.com/pages/index.php
        http://www.wisdom-books.com/
        http://www.wisdompubs.org/index.cfm

        I recommend anything by HH the Dalai Lama. The best beginners book that I can recommend for anybody is 'The Four Noble Truths' by the Dalai Lama. It comes in an inexpensive pocket verson, and is a transcript of a seminar he gave in England in 1996. It's also available on Audio Tape, VHS, and DVD. You should be able to find it at Snowlion Publishers.

        Ken/


        ----- Original Message -----
        From: "CC" <mammadawg@...>
        To: Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com
        Subject: [Buddhism_101] My introduction to the group
        Date: Fri, 29 Oct 2004 20:38:58 -0000

        >
        >
        > Blessings,
        >
        > My name is Cecilia but my friends call me CC. I have always been of
        > questionable health and last year it all clearly came to fruition.
        > Yesterday I had a Spinal Tap to find out if the only illness that we
        > have not truly named is indeed Multiple Sclerosis. In addition to
        > that possibility I also have Ulcerative colitis, Degenerative Disc
        > Disease and Degenerative Arthritis in my hands and fingers. I am 38
        > years old.
        >
        > I have always lived a good live as much as I could control, I have
        > never drank or done drugs. I never ran around doing dangerously
        > outrageous sports or anything like that. I always had the belief
        > that if you are follow a truthful and honest existence, good would
        > come to you, I have believed that since very young.
        >
        > My childhood was in one word miserable due to my fathers alcoholism
        > and depression, the physical abuse from my siblings, one of them
        > later to be found to have been schizophrenic, and having a very
        > cold and distant relationship with my mother.
        >
        > I left at 14 years old and stayed with even crazier relatives in the
        > west coast of the USA, mainly NY and NJ. When I left I had 3 goals,
        > one to live in New York City out of my own money, to get a boa
        > constrictor (bad idea when it got hungry and bigger) and to get a
        > tattoo (a small one).
        >
        > Around my 18th birthday I went back to visit the family and my
        > father said to me, besides that only prostitutes and bikers get
        > tattoos... You call that a tattoo? Next time make it a bigger one!!..
        > And I of course complied with an oriental dragon that covers half of
        > my back.
        >
        > I have always been that way ever since, I speak the truth, I am
        > honest with myself and others. I always keep my promises and I
        > learned to forgive.
        >
        > I have been practicing meditation for several years now, started
        > first as guided imagery a suggestion from one of my many, many
        > doctors. Meditation and relaxation techniques as well as some yoga
        > stretches prepared me yesterday for my spinal tap. The doctor was
        > truly fascinated as my calmness and how easy the procedure was,
        > since my body was very relaxed it was really easy for her to find
        > the right spot right away, we had the chance of speaking while my
        > spinal fluid dripped out (about 15 minutes). At the end she thanked
        > me for being such a wonderful patient, I find that amusing.
        >
        > I was an avid reader up to 3 years ago, but since the further
        > deterioration of my hands prevents me from reading big hard back
        > books, my favorites being crime novels, true crime, big trials,
        > etc...Just recently I found Ephraim Tutt, (older but goodie) when I
        > came to find out my great grandfather was a lawyer, important DA who
        > wrote the series of Ephraim Tutt. means nothing to you but mint a
        > lot to me because all of my live I have know things that I would
        > have not learned yet because of my age, today my husband will talk
        > to me about all kinds of questions, some that I am amused about
        > because only a trained expert in that field (any field) would be able
        > to answer, and I always ask what gives you the idea that I would
        > know THAT? And he always says because you always have the answers to
        > everything I have ever asked, I don't know why but you do...
        >
        > This leads me to believe that what is happened to my body is perhaps
        > an old debt I had to pay from a past life and the knowledge I have
        > are bits and pieces of probably several lives I have probably
        > lived.
        >
        > And that is why I am here, in the last year Buddhism has been so
        > ever present in my life, we found a marvelous Buddha made out of
        > wood at an antique place, we have also found other Buddhist items,
        > including some my husband brought from his visit to India before we
        > got married (or did they find us?). Deep meditation allows me to
        > have some relief from my pain and in my spirituality I am becoming
        > more and more Buddhist, I have several books in Buddhism, of course
        > books from the Dalai Lama, etc but I need direction to find my path.
        >
        > And with that I ask for no pity nor judgment but a helpful hand, a
        > few reading recommendations, someone to share with....
        >
        > With love and peace..
        >
        > --- CC
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >
        >




        *************************************
        "In 2008, Beijing will host the Olympic Games,
        Do you know that, in China, thousands of prisoners condemned to death are killed in
        those [sports] stadiums? And you - will you applaud the massacre?"
      • nancy lemke
        ... hi CC and welcome to the group here. you certainly been down a rough road but sounds like you are happy and doing ok now. i am sorry about the latest dx
        Message 3 of 6 , Oct 30, 2004
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          ---
          hi CC and welcome to the group here. you certainly been down a rough
          road but sounds like you are happy and doing ok now. i am sorry about
          the latest dx but you are strong and will deal w/it all quite well i
          think. welcome aboard. namaste, vishaka

          In Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com, "CC" <mammadawg@d...> wrote:
          >
          > Blessings,
          >
          > My name is Cecilia but my friends call me CC. I have always been of
          > questionable health and last year it all clearly came to fruition.
          > Yesterday I had a Spinal Tap to find out if the only illness that we
          > have not truly named is indeed Multiple Sclerosis. In addition to
          > that possibility I also have Ulcerative colitis, Degenerative Disc
          > Disease and Degenerative Arthritis in my hands and fingers. I am 38
          > years old.
          >
          > I have always lived a good live as much as I could control, I have
          > never drank or done drugs. I never ran around doing dangerously
          > outrageous sports or anything like that. I always had the belief
          > that if you are follow a truthful and honest existence, good would
          > come to you, I have believed that since very young.
          >
          > My childhood was in one word miserable due to my fathers alcoholism
          > and depression, the physical abuse from my siblings, one of them
          > later to be found to have been schizophrenic, and having a very
          > cold and distant relationship with my mother.
          >
          > I left at 14 years old and stayed with even crazier relatives in the
          > west coast of the USA, mainly NY and NJ. When I left I had 3 goals,
          > one to live in New York City out of my own money, to get a boa
          > constrictor (bad idea when it got hungry and bigger) and to get a
          > tattoo (a small one).
          >
          > Around my 18th birthday I went back to visit the family and my
          > father said to me, besides that only prostitutes and bikers get
          > tattoos... You call that a tattoo? Next time make it a bigger
          one!!..
          > And I of course complied with an oriental dragon that covers half of
          > my back.
          >
          > I have always been that way ever since, I speak the truth, I am
          > honest with myself and others. I always keep my promises and I
          > learned to forgive.
          >
          > I have been practicing meditation for several years now, started
          > first as guided imagery a suggestion from one of my many, many
          > doctors. Meditation and relaxation techniques as well as some yoga
          > stretches prepared me yesterday for my spinal tap. The doctor was
          > truly fascinated as my calmness and how easy the procedure was,
          > since my body was very relaxed it was really easy for her to find
          > the right spot right away, we had the chance of speaking while my
          > spinal fluid dripped out (about 15 minutes). At the end she thanked
          > me for being such a wonderful patient, I find that amusing.
          >
          > I was an avid reader up to 3 years ago, but since the further
          > deterioration of my hands prevents me from reading big hard back
          > books, my favorites being crime novels, true crime, big trials,
          > etc...Just recently I found Ephraim Tutt, (older but goodie) when I
          > came to find out my great grandfather was a lawyer, important DA who
          > wrote the series of Ephraim Tutt. means nothing to you but mint a
          > lot to me because all of my live I have know things that I would
          > have not learned yet because of my age, today my husband will talk
          > to me about all kinds of questions, some that I am amused about
          > because only a trained expert in that field (any field) would be
          able
          > to answer, and I always ask what gives you the idea that I would
          > know THAT? And he always says because you always have the answers to
          > everything I have ever asked, I don't know why but you do...
          >
          > This leads me to believe that what is happened to my body is perhaps
          > an old debt I had to pay from a past life and the knowledge I have
          > are bits and pieces of probably several lives I have probably
          > lived.
          >
          > And that is why I am here, in the last year Buddhism has been so
          > ever present in my life, we found a marvelous Buddha made out of
          > wood at an antique place, we have also found other Buddhist items,
          > including some my husband brought from his visit to India before we
          > got married (or did they find us?). Deep meditation allows me to
          > have some relief from my pain and in my spirituality I am becoming
          > more and more Buddhist, I have several books in Buddhism, of course
          > books from the Dalai Lama, etc but I need direction to find my path.
          >
          > And with that I ask for no pity nor judgment but a helpful hand, a
          > few reading recommendations, someone to share with....
          >
          > With love and peace..
          >
          > --- CC
        • Patrick
          Hi, I think this is my first posting to the group since I joined last week. I dont usually have a lot of time to write but I felt that I needed to reply on
          Message 4 of 6 , Oct 30, 2004
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            Hi,
            I think this is my first posting to the group since I joined last
            week. I dont usually have a lot of time to write but I felt that I
            needed to reply on this topic.

            Dearest CC,
            I take you to be a person od strong and optimistic character based
            on what you wrote. Of all your trails in life, I see you being a
            survivor despite all that you've lived through and still been able to
            keep your head on.
            In the one line you wrote that the trials to your health may be some
            return of Karma that needs to worked out due to past negativities.
            While I think that possibility may a reasonable answer I would like to
            perhaps, offer another a different thought.
            You mentioned the fact that in your life there have been times where
            you consider that you have come to aspects of Buddhism, or maybe that
            Buddhism has found you either in material items or even better in
            interest and spirit. I think your health problems may be this same
            force at work. I believe that whatever force is at work in guiding
            our lives will not hand us more than we are able to handle. You, from
            your past, seem to be able to overcome lots of hardship and deal with
            it and find a way to grow. I think that your situation is, for a
            person of your level of experience and character may be a very
            profound opportunity to cultivate yourself spiritually as you navigate
            through your ordeals and in short be of more benefit to your self and
            others than you realize.
            I was in a teaching with a senior student of Gelek Rimpoche when he
            mentioned to the class that the whole situation of him teaching on
            that particualer day may have culmanated by the direction of whatever
            force to be of benefit to him and offer an opportunity for him to
            grow. That really stuck with me and I think it may apply to you.
            Karma in action or not is not the point and should not be dwelt on for
            too long. For this is your situation, you cannot change the basic
            essence of your health issue. The point and the focus should be in
            how you work through your ordeal and find a way to grow and benefit
            others from your hardship. Just a thought? If it seems like a crap
            theory just ignore me.

            Oh, someone rccomended anything by His Holiness as a good place to
            start reading. I'd like to specifiaclly recommend "The Art of
            Happiness" by the same author. I've bought and given away about 15
            copies and have continuously re-read it for four years as I've
            battled with depression. I'm pretty sure the ideas in the book have
            saved me and immeasurable amount of greif as my own life collapsed and
            offered me alot of guidance as I'm just not trying to put everything
            back into place.
            Patrick




            Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com, "CC" <mammadawg@d...> wrote:
            >
            > Blessings,
            >
            > My name is Cecilia but my friends call me CC. I have always been of
            > questionable health and last year it all clearly came to fruition.
            > Yesterday I had a Spinal Tap to find out if the only illness that we
            > have not truly named is indeed Multiple Sclerosis. In addition to
            > that possibility I also have Ulcerative colitis, Degenerative Disc
            > Disease and Degenerative Arthritis in my hands and fingers. I am 38
            > years old.
            >
            > I have always lived a good live as much as I could control, I have
            > never drank or done drugs. I never ran around doing dangerously
            > outrageous sports or anything like that. I always had the belief
            > that if you are follow a truthful and honest existence, good would
            > come to you, I have believed that since very young.
            >
            > My childhood was in one word miserable due to my fathers alcoholism
            > and depression, the physical abuse from my siblings, one of them
            > later to be found to have been schizophrenic, and having a very
            > cold and distant relationship with my mother.
            >
            > I left at 14 years old and stayed with even crazier relatives in the
            > west coast of the USA, mainly NY and NJ. When I left I had 3 goals,
            > one to live in New York City out of my own money, to get a boa
            > constrictor (bad idea when it got hungry and bigger) and to get a
            > tattoo (a small one).
            >
            > Around my 18th birthday I went back to visit the family and my
            > father said to me, besides that only prostitutes and bikers get
            > tattoos... You call that a tattoo? Next time make it a bigger one!!..
            > And I of course complied with an oriental dragon that covers half of
            > my back.
            >
            > I have always been that way ever since, I speak the truth, I am
            > honest with myself and others. I always keep my promises and I
            > learned to forgive.
            >
            > I have been practicing meditation for several years now, started
            > first as guided imagery a suggestion from one of my many, many
            > doctors. Meditation and relaxation techniques as well as some yoga
            > stretches prepared me yesterday for my spinal tap. The doctor was
            > truly fascinated as my calmness and how easy the procedure was,
            > since my body was very relaxed it was really easy for her to find
            > the right spot right away, we had the chance of speaking while my
            > spinal fluid dripped out (about 15 minutes). At the end she thanked
            > me for being such a wonderful patient, I find that amusing.
            >
            > I was an avid reader up to 3 years ago, but since the further
            > deterioration of my hands prevents me from reading big hard back
            > books, my favorites being crime novels, true crime, big trials,
            > etc...Just recently I found Ephraim Tutt, (older but goodie) when I
            > came to find out my great grandfather was a lawyer, important DA who
            > wrote the series of Ephraim Tutt. means nothing to you but mint a
            > lot to me because all of my live I have know things that I would
            > have not learned yet because of my age, today my husband will talk
            > to me about all kinds of questions, some that I am amused about
            > because only a trained expert in that field (any field) would be able
            > to answer, and I always ask what gives you the idea that I would
            > know THAT? And he always says because you always have the answers to
            > everything I have ever asked, I don't know why but you do...
            >
            > This leads me to believe that what is happened to my body is perhaps
            > an old debt I had to pay from a past life and the knowledge I have
            > are bits and pieces of probably several lives I have probably
            > lived.
            >
            > And that is why I am here, in the last year Buddhism has been so
            > ever present in my life, we found a marvelous Buddha made out of
            > wood at an antique place, we have also found other Buddhist items,
            > including some my husband brought from his visit to India before we
            > got married (or did they find us?). Deep meditation allows me to
            > have some relief from my pain and in my spirituality I am becoming
            > more and more Buddhist, I have several books in Buddhism, of course
            > books from the Dalai Lama, etc but I need direction to find my path.
            >
            > And with that I ask for no pity nor judgment but a helpful hand, a
            > few reading recommendations, someone to share with....
            >
            > With love and peace..
            >
            > --- CC
          • Kindnsruls@aol.com
            Message 5 of 6 , Oct 31, 2004
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              <<You mentioned the fact that in your life there have been times where
              you consider that you have come to aspects of Buddhism, or maybe that
              Buddhism has found you either in material items or even better in
              interest and spirit.  I think your health  problems may be this same
              force at work.  I believe that whatever force is at work in guiding
              our lives will not hand us more than we are able to handle. You, from
              your past, seem to be able to overcome lots of hardship and deal with
              it and find a way to grow. I think that  your situation is, for a
              person of your level of experience and character may be a very
              profound opportunity to cultivate yourself spiritually as you navigate
              through your ordeals and in short be of more benefit to your self and
              others than you realize.  >>
               
               
              Wow Patrick....a very wise and moving observation.
               
              Would like to add to CC.
               
              I am also disabled.
              I had my entire life and everthing/one in it ripped away over a very short period.
              It took four years for it all to disassemble.....and six years ago I began a period of solitary living and learning to deal with it all alone.
              So...ten years all in all.
              When it all fell away six years ago and I found myself utterly alone I cried for the first four....but I studied, and I practiced, and I went to retreat/teachings whenever I could.
              It was not easy and I felt really sorry for myself....very angry, and bitter....but I always continued my Buddhist study/practice even when feeling discouraged.
              If asked today I will say without hesitating that this illness, and what I took to be "bad" karma in those years has turned out to be the largest and most wonderful gift of "good" karma imaginable!
              It brought the time and motivation to pursue my spirtual journey in a way that my "former" life would have never allowed.  :D
               
              Blessings and Comfort.
               
              Joyce/Tenzin Yangchen
            • nancy lemke
              ... joyce,,,i too am disabled and i know that my problems have truly been a blessing that i didn t realize when it all started. i have such a positive happy
              Message 6 of 6 , Nov 1, 2004
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                ---
                joyce,,,i too am disabled and i know that my problems have truly been
                a blessing that i didn't realize when it all started. i have such a
                positive happy life now, disabilities and all, that i am gratefull
                for it. our bad karma can and does turn into good karma! namaste,
                vishaka

                In Buddhism_101@yahoogroups.com, Kindnsruls@a... wrote:
                > <<You mentioned the fact that in your life there have been times
                where
                > you consider that you have come to aspects of Buddhism, or maybe
                that
                > Buddhism has found you either in material items or even better in
                > interest and spirit. I think your health problems may be this
                same
                > force at work. I believe that whatever force is at work in guiding
                > our lives will not hand us more than we are able to handle. You,
                from
                > your past, seem to be able to overcome lots of hardship and deal
                with
                > it and find a way to grow. I think that your situation is, for a
                > person of your level of experience and character may be a very
                > profound opportunity to cultivate yourself spiritually as you
                navigate
                > through your ordeals and in short be of more benefit to your self
                and
                > others than you realize. >>
                >
                >
                > Wow Patrick....a very wise and moving observation.
                >
                > Would like to add to CC.
                >
                > I am also disabled.
                > I had my entire life and everthing/one in it ripped away over a
                very short
                > period.
                > It took four years for it all to disassemble.....and six years ago
                I began a
                > period of solitary living and learning to deal with it all alone.
                > So...ten years all in all.
                > When it all fell away six years ago and I found myself utterly
                alone I cried
                > for the first four....but I studied, and I practiced, and I went
                to
                > retreat/teachings whenever I could.
                > It was not easy and I felt really sorry for myself....very angry,
                and
                > bitter....but I always continued my Buddhist study/practice even
                when feeling
                > discouraged.
                > If asked today I will say without hesitating that this illness, and
                what I
                > took to be "bad" karma in those years has turned out to be the
                largest and most
                > wonderful gift of "good" karma imaginable!
                > It brought the time and motivation to pursue my spirtual journey in
                a way
                > that my "former" life would have never allowed. :D
                >
                > Blessings and Comfort.
                >
                > Joyce/Tenzin Yangchen
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