LIKES & DISLIKES *
- When others do things that we do not LIKE then we begin to DISLIKE them. When other do things that we LIKE then we begin to LIKE them. So ultimately what is important is not what others do and do not do but rather noticing what we LIKE and do DISLIKE (usually in relation to what others do and do not do). The noticing that we should do is that SUFFERING arises when we are faced with something that we DISLIKE and PLEASURE arises when we are faced with something we LIKE. While SEEING & UNDERSTANDING this, it is important to not give rise to ANGER towards those things that we DISLIKE or give rise to strong CRAVING for those things that we LIKE. This is what is important as a practice at the mind level, understanding what we LIKE and DISLIKE and not giving rise to strong CRAVING or ANGER in relation to LIKES and DISLIKES.
Example:The thought arises that 'They are saying x, y and z about me.' The real problem here is not that others are talking about one, but rather that one does DISLIKES others speaking about one. The untrained mind then develops ANGER towards those people who are talking about one, rather than SEEING & UNDERSTANDING that the real problem is that one DISLIKES others talking about oneself, which is why ANGER is arising. So the solution is when a thought arises that 'Others are talking about me ' notice the LIKING or DISLIKING within oneself and dealing with THAT appropriately, i.e. without ANGER or strong CRAVING. The rest and others we have not control over whatsoever. This is acting with wisdom.May you attain the lasting peace of Nibbana!Dhamma Group.