Ven. Ayya Khema - metta and equanimity/emotional independence
- "Emotional independence requires having a loving heart. If we are
looking for love, we are emotionally dependent and often discontent
because we don't get what we want, or don't get enough of it. Even
if we do get enough, we still cannot count on it to fill our needs.
To look for love is totally unsatisfactory and unfulfilling
endeavor. What does work, however, is loving others, which brings
emotional independence and contentment. Loving others is possible
whether the other person reciprocates or not. Love has nothing to do
with the other, but is a quality of our own hearts.
"Contentment is dependent upon creating a field of harmony within our
hearts - a beautiful, open field, full of flowers, containing love,
emotional independence, and self-acceptance. We do not seek love or
approval but instead give them unstintingly. It's simple and it
works. This constitutes a generous heart."
~ Ayya Khema, "Be an Island: The Buddhist Practice of Inner Peace"
Wisdom Publications, 1999, chapter entitled "Harmonious Living"
May this be of benefit.