Cheri Huber on compassion
- "...we must accept with an open a heart as we can, whatever is, regardless. If I am to assist in the ending of suffering, I must let go of all I cling to that is suffering, regardless of how right I am, or how wrong someone else is, or even how I might be judged by others. I get so upset when people abuse children or animals or minorities or the environment that I hate those people and wish them dead. Many would think of that response as noble, certainly understandable, the kind of reaction we need for things to change. But we know that is not so. Hate is hate, it doesn't matter what the object is. Showing disregard for those who show disregard advances nothing. How is the world a better place if I become cruel in response to my suffering over the cruelty of others?"
~ Cheri Huber, "Suffering is Optional: Three Keys to Freedom and Joy," Keep It Simple Books, 2000
May this be of benefit.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
- "We must learn how to let go of the conditioning that keeps us from having compassion for ourselves...Is this selfish? Is this self-indulgent? No, for this reason: It is not possible to feel for someone else what we do not feel for ourselves. If you don't have compassion for yourself, you won't have compassion for anyone else. You will perhaps spend a good deal of your time and energy hating yourself for not being compassionate, but that won't make you compassionate.
"I challenge anyone to find a single individual of recognized spiritual attainment who would say that you must hate yourself in order to have comassion for others."
~ Cheri Huber, "How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be," Hay House, 2000.
May this be of benefit.
- "...the basis of our practice is ending suffering, and at every moment we have the opportunity to see what in us is suffering. What is outside the realm of compassion? What is not healed? And we can bring that into the healing light of compassion by simply acknowledging it, accepting it, allowing it. This is the kind of person I am. This exists in me. I feel this, I do this. I have these thoughts. I have these tendencies. The conditioned patterns of suffering would have us hide those so that they continue to exist outside the healing light of compassion. And only to the degree that we can find the willingness to bring them into that light can they be healed."
~ Cheri Huber, "There is Nothing Wrong With You," Keep It Simple Books, 1993.
- "Unless you were raised by wolves, you probably heard at least a few
of the following as you were growing up: 'Don't do that.... Why don't
you ever listen?... Wipe that look off your face.... You shouldn't
feel that way.... You should have known better.... You should be
ashamed of yourself.... I can't believe you did that.... It serves
you right.... What were you thinking of?... The nurses must have
dropped you on your head.... I had great hopes for you.... Don't talk
back to me.... Do as you are told.... Don't you ever think about
anyone else?' Somewhere along the line we conclude there is some-
thing wrong with us. What else could we conclude? If there were
nothing wrong with us, people would not say those things, would they?
"Being intelligent creatures, we soon take over the job of punishing
ourselves, punishment being the way to improve so that we can be who
and how we should be. We learn the self-improvement process as
quickly as possible so we can fix ourselves before anyone else
notices we need fixing. As a result, most people grow up with an
unshakable belief that the primary reason they are 'good' is that
they punish themselves when they are 'bad.' The very thought of not
punishing ourselves when we make mistakes, say and do stupid things,
feel inappropriate feelings, or act 'bad,' makes us nervous: If I
don't punish myself when I do something wrong, what will keep me from
doing it again? I might do even worse things!
"To this I would say that one process does not lead to another.
Punishment does not make us good, punishment makes us punishing.
Hating and rejecting ourselves in this moment is not good practice
for loving and accepting our-selves in another. Goodness is our
inherent nature and punishment is what keeps us from knowing that. We
are never going to improve ourselves until we become who we 'should'
be. If self-improvement worked, it would have by now. Punishment is
what keeps us from seeing that there is no one who needs to be
punished. It is a learned response, it will never work, and we can
let go of it if we are willing."
~ Cheri Huber, "There Is Nothing Wrong With Us"
From Fabric of the Future: Women Visionaries Illuminate the Path to
Tomorrow (1998 Conari Press, Edited by M.J. Ryan)
May this be of benefit.