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Bhante G on metta

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  • shar_63
    Lovingkindness Each and everyone of us must cultivate [lovingkindness] by ourselves and for ourselves. You cannot cultivate it for others. Nor can others
    Message 1 of 8 , Aug 30, 2009
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      Lovingkindness


      "Each and everyone of us must cultivate [lovingkindness] by ourselves
      and for ourselves. You cannot cultivate it for others. Nor can others
      cultivate it for you. If I promise to save you by practicing loving-
      kindness by myself and if you do not practice it yourself then only I
      alone will free my mind from ill-will and I cannot free your mind
      from those negative states. By the same token, if you cultivate
      loving-kindness for me and I cultivate it for you, then both of us
      are practicing it. I should not wait for you to cultivate loving-
      kindness for me. Neither should you wait for me to cultivate it for
      you. If you say 'Don't practice loving-kindness by yourself but I
      will do it for you,' it does not work. Don't say 'How can I cultivate
      loving-kindness towards so and so who is hating me?' If you hate
      him/her who hates you, both of you are equal in doing evil. By asking
      this question what you are saying, in other words is, 'How can I be
      good if others are evil?' Or 'How can I avoid committing crimes when
      others commit crimes?' You practice loving-kindness not because
      others cultivate it. You want to cultivate it for the reason that
      others do not cultivate it."

      ~ Meditation On Loving-Kindness (Metta)
      by Bhante H Gunaratana

      http://www.bhavanasociety.org/articles/bg009.htm


      May this be of benefit.
    • Buddhaviharas-owner@yahoogroups.com
      As you let go of negative states of mind, you create the space in your mind for the cultivation of positive thoughts. Skillful Thinking means that we replace
      Message 2 of 8 , Apr 6, 2010
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        "As you let go of negative states of mind, you create the space in
        your mind for the cultivation of positive thoughts. Skillful
        Thinking means that we replace angry or hostile thoughts with
        thoughts of loving-friendliness. Loving-friendliness, or metta, is a
        natural capacity. It is a warm wash of fellow-feeling, a sense of
        interconnectedness with all beings. Because we wish for peace,
        happiness, and joy for ourselves, we know that all beings must wish
        for these qualities. Loving-friendliness radiates to the whole world
        the wish that all beings enjoy a comfortable life with harmony,
        mutual appreciation, and appropriate abundance.

        "Though we all have the seed of loving-friendliness within us, we
        must make the effort to cultivate it . . . As is the case with
        generosity, loving-friendliness begins with a thought. Typically,
        our minds are full of views, opinions, beliefs, ideas. We have been
        conditioned by our culture, traditions, education, associations, and
        experiences. From these mental conditions we have developed
        prejudices and judgments. These rigid ideas stifle our natural
        loving-friendliness. Yet, within this tangle of confused thinking,
        the idea of our friendly interconnection with others does come up
        occasionally. We catch a glimpse of it as we might glimpse a tree
        during a flash of lightning. As we learn to relax and let go of
        negativity, we begin to recognize our biases and not let them
        dominate our minds. Then the thought of loving-friendliness begins
        to shine, showing its true strength and beauty . . .

        "When fully matured, your net of loving-friendliness embraces
        everything in the universe without exception. It has no limitations,
        no boundaries. Your thought of loving-friendliness includes not only
        all beings as they are at this moment but also your wish that all of
        them, without any discrimination or favoritism, will be happy in the
        limitless future."

        Excerpted from "Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness: Walking the
        Buddha's Path"
        Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
        Wisdom Publications, 2001 www.wisdompubs.org


        May this be of benefit.
      • Buddhaviharas-owner@yahoogroups.com
        A person who loves himself knows what love is and he can share it. You can never give others what you don t have. ~ Bhante H. Gunaratana, excerpted from
        Message 3 of 8 , Jul 31, 2010
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          "A person who loves himself knows what love is and he can share it.
          You can never give others what you don't have."

          ~ Bhante H. Gunaratana, excerpted from "Buddha Mom," Jacqueline
          Kramer, Tarcher/Putnam, 2003.


          May this be of benefit.
        • shar_63
          A person who loves himself knows what love is and he can share it. You can never give others what you don t have. ~ Bhante H. Gunaratana, excerpted from
          Message 4 of 8 , Jul 31, 2010
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            "A person who loves himself knows what love is and he can share it.
            You can never give others what you don't have."

            ~ Bhante H. Gunaratana, excerpted from "Buddha Mom," Jacqueline
            Kramer, Tarcher/Putnam, 2003.


            May this be of benefit.
          • shar_63
            Lovingkindness The loving-kindness that we want to cultivate is not an ordinary love as it is understood in everyday application. When you say, I love
            Message 5 of 8 , Oct 21, 2010
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              Lovingkindness

              "The loving-kindness that we want to cultivate is not an ordinary
              love as it is understood in everyday application. When you say, 'I
              love such-and-such a person' or 'such-and-such a thing', for
              instance, what you really mean is that you desire that particular
              person's appearance, behavior, ideas, voice, or overall attitude;
              either towards you in particular or towards life in general. If that
              person changes the things you like very much in him or her you may
              decide that you do not love him or her. When your tastes, whims and
              fancies or that of the other person change, then you would not say 'I
              love so-and-so'. In this love-hate duality you love one and hate
              another. You love now and hate later. You love when you wish and hate
              when you wish. You love when everything is smooth and rosy and hate
              when anything goes wrong with the relationship between you and the
              other person or thing. If your love changes from time to time, place
              to place and situation to situation in this fashion then what you
              call 'love' is not true loving-kindness but lust, greed, or desire--
              not love by any means.

              The kind of loving-kindness that we want to cultivate through
              meditation does not have its opposite or an ulterior motive.
              Therefore, the love-hate dichotomy does not apply to loving-kindness
              cultivated through wisdom or mindfulness, for it will never change
              into hate, as circumstantial changes take place. True loving-kindness
              is a natural faculty concealed under the heap of greed, hatred and
              ignorance. Nobody can give it to us. We must find it out within
              ourselves and cultivate it mindfully. Mindfulness discovers it,
              cultivates it and maintains it."

              ~ Meditation On Loving-Kindness (Metta)
              by Bhante H Gunaratana

              http://www.bhavanasociety.org/articles/bg009.htm


              May this be of benefit.
            • antony272b2
              Hi Sharon, Thanks for bringing up this topic. I wanted to post the full context (with 1 preceding paragraph and 2 after) around Bhante G s critique of love.
              Message 6 of 8 , Oct 21, 2010
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                Hi Sharon,

                Thanks for bringing up this topic.

                I wanted to post the full context (with 1 preceding paragraph and 2 after) around Bhante G's critique of love.

                "We must start the practice of loving-kindness with ourselves first. Sometimes some of you may wonder why we have to love ourselves first. Wouldn't that amount to self love and lead to selfishness? When you investigate your own mind very carefully, however, you will be convinced that there is no one in the whole universe that you love more than yourself. The Buddha said, "Investigating the whole world with my mind never did I find anyone dearer than oneself. Since oneself is dearer than others, one who loves oneself should never harm others" One who does not love oneself can never love another at all. By the same token one who loves oneself will feel the impact of loving-kindness and then can understand how beautiful it is if every heart in the whole world is filled with the same feeling of loving-kindness.

                The loving-kindness that we want to cultivate is not an ordinary love as it is understood in everyday application. When you say, "I love such-and-such a person" or "such-and-such a thing", for instance, what you really mean is that you desire that particular person's appearance, behavior, ideas, voice, or overall attitude; either towards you in particular or towards life in general. If that person changes the things you like very much in him or her you may decide that you do not love him or her. When your tastes, whims and fancies or that of the other person change, then you would not say "I love so-and-so". In this love-hate duality you love one and hate another. You love now and hate later. You love when you wish and hate when you wish. You love when everything is smooth and rosy and hate when anything goes wrong with the relationship between you and the other person or thing. If your love changes from time to time, place to place and situation to situation in this fashion then what you call "love" is not true loving-kindness but lust, greed, or desire -- not love by any means.

                The kind of loving-kindness that we want to cultivate through meditation does not have its opposite or an ulterior motive. Therefore, the love-hate dichotomy does not apply to loving-kindness cultivated through wisdom or mindfulness, for it will never change into hate, as circumstantial changes take place. True loving-kindness is a natural faculty concealed under the heap of greed, hatred and ignorance. Nobody can give it to us. We must find it out within ourselves and cultivate it mindfully. Mindfulness discovers it, cultivates it and maintains it. "I" consciousness [ahankara] dissolves in mindfulness and its place will be taken by loving-kindness free from selfishness.

                Because of our selfishness we hate some people. We want to live in certain ways, do certain things in certain ways, perceive things in certain ways; not in any other way. If others do not agree with our views, our ways and our styles, we not only hate them but become entirely so irrational and blind with unmindfulness that we might even deprive them of their right to live.

                When you practice loving-kindness you do not get angry if you do not receive any form of favor in return from persons and beings to whom you radiate your loving-kindness, because you have no ulterior motive when you radiate loving-kindness towards them. In this net of loving-kindness not only do you include all beings as they are, but you wish all of them, without any discrimination, to be happy minded. You continue to behave gently and kindly towards all beings, speaking gently and kindly about them in their presence as well as in their absence."
                http://www.bhavanasociety.org/resource/meditation_on_loving_kindness_metta/
                From: Meditation On Loving-Kindness (Metta)
                by Bhante H Gunaratana

                Antony: So he is not against our everyday love as a blanket statement but is referring to selfish love as often understood in everyday application.

                Another thing that helps soften the blow of his critique of our love is to listen to his gentle voice in audio. Does anyone have any links?

                Thanks / Antony.
              • antony272b2
                ... I found it! There are 9 podcasts titled Guided Metta Meditation by Bhante Gunaratana http://www.bhavanasociety.org/list/category/MP3s/ With metta / Antony.
                Message 7 of 8 , Oct 21, 2010
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                  I wrote:
                  > Another thing that helps soften the blow of his critique of our love is to
                  > listen to his gentle voice in audio. Does anyone have any links?

                  I found it!
                  There are 9 podcasts titled Guided Metta Meditation by Bhante Gunaratana
                  http://www.bhavanasociety.org/list/category/MP3s/

                  With metta / Antony.

                  From: antony272b2 (antony272b@...)
                  Sent: Friday, 22 October 2010 2:57:38 AM
                  To: Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com

                  Hi Sharon,

                  Thanks for bringing up this topic.

                  I wanted to post the full context (with 1 preceding paragraph and 2 after) around Bhante G's critique of love.

                  "We must start the practice of loving-kindness with ourselves first. Sometimes some of you may wonder why we have to love ourselves first. Wouldn't that amount to self love and lead to selfishness? When you investigate your own mind very carefully, however, you will be convinced that there is no one in the whole universe that you love more than yourself. The Buddha said, "Investigating the whole world with my mind never did I find anyone dearer than oneself. Since oneself is dearer than others, one who loves oneself should never harm others" One who does not love oneself can never love another at all. By the same token one who loves oneself will feel the impact of loving-kindness and then can understand how beautiful it is if every heart in the whole world is filled with the same feeling of loving-kindness.

                  The loving-kindness that we want to cultivate is not an ordinary love as it is understood in everyday application. When you say, "I love such-and-such a person" or "such-and-such a thing", for instance, what you really mean is that you desire that particular person's appearance, behavior, ideas, voice, or overall attitude; either towards you in particular or towards life in general. If that person changes the things you like very much in him or her you may decide that you do not love him or her. When your tastes, whims and fancies or that of the other person change, then you would not say "I love so-and-so". In this love-hate duality you love one and hate another. You love now and hate later. You love when you wish and hate when you wish. You love when everything is smooth and rosy and hate when anything goes wrong with the relationship between you and the other person or thing. If your love changes from time to time, place to place and situation to situation in this fashion then what you call "love" is not true loving-kindness but lust, greed, or desire -- not love by any means.

                  The kind of loving-kindness that we want to cultivate through meditation does not have its opposite or an ulterior motive. Therefore, the love-hate dichotomy does not apply to loving-kindness cultivated through wisdom or mindfulness, for it will never change into hate, as circumstantial changes take place. True loving-kindness is a natural faculty concealed under the heap of greed, hatred and ignorance. Nobody can give it to us. We must find it out within ourselves and cultivate it mindfully. Mindfulness discovers it, cultivates it and maintains it. "I" consciousness [ahankara] dissolves in mindfulness and its place will be taken by loving-kindness free from selfishness.

                  Because of our selfishness we hate some people. We want to live in certain ways, do certain things in certain ways, perceive things in certain ways; not in any other way. If others do not agree with our views, our ways and our styles, we not only hate them but become entirely so irrational and blind with unmindfulness that we might even deprive them of their right to live.

                  When you practice loving-kindness you do not get angry if you do not receive any form of favor in return from persons and beings to whom you radiate your loving-kindness, because you have no ulterior motive when you radiate loving-kindness towards them. In this net of loving-kindness not only do you include all beings as they are, but you wish all of them, without any discrimination, to be happy minded. You continue to behave gently and kindly towards all beings, speaking gently and kindly about them in their presence as well as in their absence."
                  http://www.bhavanasociety.org/resource/meditation_on_loving_kindness_metta/
                  From: Meditation On Loving-Kindness (Metta)
                  by Bhante H Gunaratana

                  Antony: So he is not against our everyday love as a blanket statement but is referring to selfish love as often understood in everyday application.

                  Another thing that helps soften the blow of his critique of our love is to listen to his gentle voice in audio. Does anyone have any links?

                  Thanks / Antony.
                • Sharon Werner
                  Yes, it makes all the difference to hear the tone of voice used by a true teacher. I ve often thought the same of listening to Pema Chodron. The words, taken
                  Message 8 of 8 , Oct 21, 2010
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                    Yes, it makes all the difference to hear the tone of voice used by a true teacher. I've often thought the same of listening to Pema Chodron. The words, taken without inflection, can sound harsh; but the meaning behind the words, the tones and inflections, show a wise, understanding love.

                    ----- Original Message -----
                    From: antony272b2
                    To: Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com
                    Sent: Thursday, October 21, 2010 1:15 PM
                    Subject: [Buddhaviharas] Re: Bhante G on metta



                    I wrote:
                    > Another thing that helps soften the blow of his critique of our love is to
                    > listen to his gentle voice in audio. Does anyone have any links?

                    I found it!
                    There are 9 podcasts titled Guided Metta Meditation by Bhante Gunaratana
                    http://www.bhavanasociety.org/list/category/MP3s/

                    With metta / Antony.

                    From: antony272b2 (antony272b@...)
                    Sent: Friday, 22 October 2010 2:57:38 AM
                    To: Buddhaviharas@yahoogroups.com

                    Hi Sharon,

                    Thanks for bringing up this topic.

                    I wanted to post the full context (with 1 preceding paragraph and 2 after) around Bhante G's critique of love.

                    "We must start the practice of loving-kindness with ourselves first. Sometimes some of you may wonder why we have to love ourselves first. Wouldn't that amount to self love and lead to selfishness? When you investigate your own mind very carefully, however, you will be convinced that there is no one in the whole universe that you love more than yourself. The Buddha said, "Investigating the whole world with my mind never did I find anyone dearer than oneself. Since oneself is dearer than others, one who loves oneself should never harm others" One who does not love oneself can never love another at all. By the same token one who loves oneself will feel the impact of loving-kindness and then can understand how beautiful it is if every heart in the whole world is filled with the same feeling of loving-kindness.

                    The loving-kindness that we want to cultivate is not an ordinary love as it is understood in everyday application. When you say, "I love such-and-such a person" or "such-and-such a thing", for instance, what you really mean is that you desire that particular person's appearance, behavior, ideas, voice, or overall attitude; either towards you in particular or towards life in general. If that person changes the things you like very much in him or her you may decide that you do not love him or her. When your tastes, whims and fancies or that of the other person change, then you would not say "I love so-and-so". In this love-hate duality you love one and hate another. You love now and hate later. You love when you wish and hate when you wish. You love when everything is smooth and rosy and hate when anything goes wrong with the relationship between you and the other person or thing. If your love changes from time to time, place to place and situation to situation in this fashion then what you call "love" is not true loving-kindness but lust, greed, or desire -- not love by any means.

                    The kind of loving-kindness that we want to cultivate through meditation does not have its opposite or an ulterior motive. Therefore, the love-hate dichotomy does not apply to loving-kindness cultivated through wisdom or mindfulness, for it will never change into hate, as circumstantial changes take place. True loving-kindness is a natural faculty concealed under the heap of greed, hatred and ignorance. Nobody can give it to us. We must find it out within ourselves and cultivate it mindfully. Mindfulness discovers it, cultivates it and maintains it. "I" consciousness [ahankara] dissolves in mindfulness and its place will be taken by loving-kindness free from selfishness.

                    Because of our selfishness we hate some people. We want to live in certain ways, do certain things in certain ways, perceive things in certain ways; not in any other way. If others do not agree with our views, our ways and our styles, we not only hate them but become entirely so irrational and blind with unmindfulness that we might even deprive them of their right to live.

                    When you practice loving-kindness you do not get angry if you do not receive any form of favor in return from persons and beings to whom you radiate your loving-kindness, because you have no ulterior motive when you radiate loving-kindness towards them. In this net of loving-kindness not only do you include all beings as they are, but you wish all of them, without any discrimination, to be happy minded. You continue to behave gently and kindly towards all beings, speaking gently and kindly about them in their presence as well as in their absence."
                    http://www.bhavanasociety.org/resource/meditation_on_loving_kindness_metta/
                    From: Meditation On Loving-Kindness (Metta)
                    by Bhante H Gunaratana

                    Antony: So he is not against our everyday love as a blanket statement but is referring to selfish love as often understood in everyday application.

                    Another thing that helps soften the blow of his critique of our love is to listen to his gentle voice in audio. Does anyone have any links?

                    Thanks / Antony.





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