Ven. Ayya Khema - lovingkindness
- "The more love we can extend, the more people we can include in it,
and the more love we have. Whatever we can generate, that much love
we have within us. It is a very simple equation but few people see
it that way. Everybody is looking for more people to love them. It
doesn't work. It's absurd. But we have so many absurdities in our
"This is in line with another one of our eleven benefits [of
lovingkindness] spoken of by the Buddha: 'One is beloved by humans
and by nonhumans.' If we extend love toward others they'll feel
attracted to us. There's no scarcity of people to love us. We give
them love not because we want to give them something, not because
they need it, not because they are worthy of if, but because the
heart has been trained to do nothing else. It is just like being
trained in arithmetic. If a set of figures is put up in front of
you, you will be able to add them up. What else should you do with
them if you want to know their total? Your mind has been trained in
that way. If the heart has been trained, it extends love no matter
~ Ayya Khema, "Being Nobody, Going Nowhere: Meditations on the
- "[Regarding Metta,] friendliness doesn't mean dealing with others on
a superficial level, saying yes all the time and telling others what
they want to hear so as to suggest friendliness. Rather, it means
communicating from the heart, through recognizing that we are all
fundamentally the same, our differences only apparent. Friendliness
from the heart demonstrates understanding of the universal nature of
being, all human beings and everything that surrounds us."
~ Ayya Khema, "Come and See For Yourself: The Buddhist Path to
Happiness," Windhorse Publications, 2002
May this be of benefit.
- "Before going to sleep it's useful to practice loving-kindness meditation. Having done that as the very last thing at night, it will be in one's mind first thing in the morning. The Buddha's words about loving-kindness were: 'One goes to sleep happily, one dreams no evil dreams, and one wakes happily.' What more can one ask?"
~ Ven. Ayya Khema, "To Be Seen Here and Now: Ten Dhamma Talks from a meditation retreat at Pelmadulla Bhikkhu Training Centre, Sri Lanka"
The entire article can be found at:
May this be of benefit. /o\
- "Instead of 'lovingkindness,' we can call it 'unconditional love,'
which is probably a more succinct statement of what it is all about.
When we have a look at the kind of emotion that we already have
discussed [cinematic-style romantic 'love'] -- which is always
connected with attachment -- we can see quite easily that, if this is
really love, we are diminished by it. Because what we're doing is
looking at only one, two, three people -- and that's the whole extent
of love. There are six billion of us, so why diminish ourselves to
one, two, or three? And not only that, the whole problem lies in the
fact that because it is attachment, we've got to *keep* those one,
two, or three in order to experience any kind of love. We are afraid
to lose them: to lose them through death, through change of mind, to
leaving home, to whatever change happens. And that fear discolors our
love to the point where it can no longer be pure, because it is
Ven. Ayya Khema, "Metta," a talk given in Santa Fe, New Mexico,
April, 1992, transcribed by Brian Kelley and edited by Leigh
May this be of benefit.