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Re: [BrainSurgery] Re: *** REQUEST FOR POLLS ***

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  • Patricia and Kevin Fields
    I m so glad for Mark s comments... I had really envisioned this (spouse chats) as a forum where they could find other people in a similar position and find
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 1, 2000
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      I'm so glad for Mark's comments... I had really envisioned this (spouse
      chats) as a forum where they could find other people in a similar position
      and find comfort with each other. It never really occurred to me that might
      discuss or try to learn about brain tumors; but he's right - - that is
      probably what would happen and it would be an extra burden as well.

      As a person who is very comfortable with chat rooms I shouldn't assume other
      people are as well. In fact, that may explain why so few participate in the
      weekly chats. For me, it is a type of "group therapy" or "conference call".

      I just want to be sure you understand that the intention of the chat was to
      offer support because I do feel that the stress on the spouse and other
      family members and significant others is overwhelming and may be overlooked
      by health care professionals .

      Good post, Mark... Thanks for your input (got me thinking - - cleaned
      out a few more cobwebs)

      ----- Original Message -----
      From: Mark Hargrove <mahar@...>
      To: <BrainSurgery@onelist.com>
      Sent: Friday, March 24, 2000 9:21 AM
      Subject: [BrainSurgery] Re: *** REQUEST FOR POLLS ***

      > From: "Mark Hargrove" <mahar@...>
      > > I am about to conclude the spouse chat poll!!!! (If I get a 10th
      > > "NO" I will conclude the poll) That's a riot! I thought maybe that
      > > would be a good idea for the spouses to get some things off their
      > > chests. Talk about unanimous! Just out of curiousity - - could I
      > > have some feedback about how you knew your spouses wouldn't be
      > > interested?
      > These tumors consume enough of our lives. In my case, I think my
      > spouse represents the place to which I'm trying to return. Though
      > she would gladly do anything to help me, she has enough to worry
      > about without taking on the added burden of learning about brain
      > tumors.
      > We remain hopeful that my visits to the brain tumor world are
      > temporary. My job is to simply get better as soon as I am able and
      > try not to be unpleasant in the meantime. Laziness, however, she has
      > learned to tolerate. I hope my to regain a good measure of my old
      > energy levels.
      > Generally, I haven't got that much out of the chat rooms. While they
      > are inhabited by wonderful people who know what they are talking
      > about, the information exchange format is a tad inefficient. Brain
      > tumors cover a wide variety of topics. As such, the chats are often
      > too specific or sometimes of a personal 'how's the weather' nature.
      > This bonding is also useful to the direct participants, but may not
      > serve the needs of many of the people signed on. I think that to use
      > a chat romm, one has to generally like to use chat rooms.
      > That's just my opinion.
      > Mark
      > 43 y.o. male, craniotomy to remove benign egg-sized meningioma from
      > right frontal lobe in March of 1999. MRI in March of 2000 is CLEAN!
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