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Hi guys new here, could you....

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  • Kris_Beckman
    Hi guys, I am new to the whole writing bit and I was hoping that someone might tell me whether you think a plot that has bit me and just held on is worth
    Message 1 of 1 , Jun 7, 2002
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      Hi guys, I am new to the whole writing bit and I was hoping that
      someone might tell me whether you think a plot that has bit me and
      just held on is worth pursueing. I will post the synopsis and first
      part in this message. I have been having trouble getting more
      written, but if you guys think it is worth it I will try to get some
      more written. Anyway thank you.
      Lady Lumina

      Synopsis: There is a serial killer in Cascade. The killer targets
      children up 6 yrs old. Every year he kills seven children one every
      week on the differing days of the week. He kills them in order of
      age: Newborn on Sunday of Week 1, then 1 yr on Monday on week 2,
      then 2 yr on the Tuesday of Week 3, etc… He has been known to be
      killing kids across the USA for at least 4 years. Year1 he started
      in January, Year 2 Febuary, etc….He's a highly publicized
      killer in
      each local where he has killed but because he only kills seven kids
      in each town and then moves to a different state as well as having
      an almost uncanny knowledge of forensics and police procedure he has
      never been caught. He kills them with a hunting knife severing the
      jugular in the neck and then removing the heart after the child
      bleeds out. The heart is never found after. He moves into Cascade
      and has killed two children already when the case is transferred
      from homicide to major crimes. The case is of course assigned to Jim
      and Blair. Jim doesn't know it, but he not only is going to be
      tested in finding this killer but Blair does some research for
      killers of a similar MO and alerts the FBI that the killer is active
      in Cascade. Because the killer is very good, the FBI asks Mulder
      take a break form the X-files to be the Profiler on the case. Little
      does Mulder realize that he's about to come face-to-face with
      another X-File where he least expects it.


      It was early May morning in Cascade, Washington. The sun was just
      barely rising above the horizon splashing yellows, pinks and oranges
      across the morning sky. It was one of those beautiful days that
      come all too rarely in Cascade's dismal winters, it was the kind
      day where you just knew something amazing and wonderful was going to
      happen. You know the old saying though, you can't trust the



      Jim walked onto the floor of major crimes with Blair
      bouncing along beside him. Blair had no classes that day until
      almost 2:00 PM, so he had come to the station to with Jim that day.
      As they walked to Jim's desk they noticed Simon waving at them to
      come to his office. He motioned to them to wait a minute while he
      finished his phone call.
      "Yes, Commissioner I'm putting my best men on it," he
      into the phone "I'll keep you updated, of course." He
      hangs up the
      phone and looks at Jim and Blair with a very solemn face.
      "This just came up from Homicide this morning. There have been
      murders in the last two days; Homicide has reason to believe the two
      are related. The first was a little girl, Emily Hartshorne, she was
      born Sunday morning 2-weeks ago at Cascade Memorial and killed later
      that same day in the hospital nursery." Blair and Jim both look
      disturbed, but wait for Simon to finish.
      Simon continues, "The second was a little boy, Jeremy
      Caruthers. He turned 1-year-old yesterday. Two hours before his
      birthday party, he disappeared. He was found late last night, dead.
      Both children had their throats cut and their hearts removed. All
      the information gathered so far is in the files on your desk. I want
      regular updates gentlemen; the Commissioner is already breathing
      down my neck on this. Personally, I can't blame him. I don't
      this is over."
      "We'll get right on it Simon," is the only thing Jim can
      in reply. As they leave, the office Simon hears them already
      beginning to map out a plan of investigation.
      "Since the first occurred 2 days ago in the hospital's
      nursery, I'm
      sure they scrubbed it down already. Therefore, we should start with
      where they found Jeremy," Blair suggests. "Before that
      though, lets
      start a search for similar MO's in the database."
      "Yeah, both state and federal databases this sounds like it
      be familiar but I can't quite place the thought. It should be
      finished by the time we return," Jim concurs.
      As they reach Jim's desk, Jim grabs the files so they can look
      over on the way to where they found the little boy, while Blair
      starts the search on the computer.
      "I have to say I honestly hope that we don't pull anything up
      "I know, me too Chief, but I have a nasty suspicion that we
      going to be that lucky."
      "Well, that's started. Lets go."



      Blair looks around the alley; this could be harder than he
      could have hoped. Between the garbage scattered all over the alley
      and the disgusting puddles of he's not sure what on the ground.
      is definitely going to hard to discover something new.
      "OK, Jim, lets start with smell. What do you smell?" Blair
      "Ummm, garbage, car oil, exhaust, paint from the graffiti,
      "OK, filter out the garbage and the car smells. Now, the
      paint and the blood. Go deeper. Do smell anything odd? Anything that
      shouldn't be here?"
      Jim concentrates, filtering out the garbage, car smells,
      blood and paint smells. He smells something, its very faint, zooms
      in on the smell. He knows this smell from somewhere, somewhere.
      Suddenly, he hears Blair "Come on back big guy. Come on, wake up.
      That's it. I need you back here."
      "I'm fine Blair. Thanks, I focused too hard on a smell. I
      know it from somewhere, but where," he shakes his head and looks
      "It's OK, Jim. You have it now and we'll work on where
      later. Why don't you take a look around and see if something
      your eye."
      "Sure Chief, but don't get your hopes up. This is a filthy
      After about an hour of combing the ally, Jim walks back to
      Blair. "Nothing lets head to Cascade General. I'd like to
      talk with
      the people there find out how somebody could just walk into the
      nursery and kill the little girl without anybody seeing anything



      When they arrive at Cascade General, they attempt to head
      straight for the Nursery but the receptionist directs them to the
      administrators office instead.
      The administrator gets up from behind his desk and goes to greet the
      two men who walk into his office. "Please be seated gentlemen.
      Can I
      get you something to drink? Coffee, perhaps?"
      "No, we would like to go look over the nursery and speak to
      the nurses who work in that department."
      "Of course, I just wanted to discuss with you the hospitals
      on the attendance in the nursery of personnel…."
      "Excuse me," Jim interjects " I don't really care
      what your policy
      is. If the nurses on duty that day violated your attendance
      regulations, that's between the hospital and those nurses. I just
      want to find the person who murdered 2 children." He and Blair
      stand. "We'll be in the nursery for the next hour or so. If
      think of anything pertinent to the case then come down, otherwise
      leave us alone to do our job." They leave the office and get in
      elevator to go to the 2nd floor where the nursery was located. As
      they get on the elevator, Blair asks Jim, "Man, you were a little
      harsh back there to the administrator, don't you think."
      "OK, oh look here we are second floor." Blair changes the
      quickly because he can tell that Jim is not in the best of moods and
      he doesn't really want his head bit off.
      "Sorry Chief. I just have a bad feeling on this one. I don't
      the fact that these just children were murdered and I really
      like that fact that the killer was so precise in killing a newborn
      and a child that had just turned one." Jim explains to Blair.
      Even as they reach the nursery Jim can tell it won't do any good
      go over the room again. It was so clean you could almost make out
      your reflection on the white tile walls. "Let's take a quick
      and then see if," Blair flips open his notebook " Mary
      Schuller and
      Samuel Martin are on duty today."
      They spend about 30 minutes going through the nursery, but as Jim
      suspected the nursery has been cleaned so well that all he can smell
      are cleaners and normal hospital smells. There is no trace of the
      smell from the other crime scene. The nurses on duty tell them that
      both Mary and Samuel are off for the next few days. That the
      hospital did not want them working until an investigation was
      completed about how the killer got in and why there was nobody in
      the nursery at the time. They left the hospital to go back to the
      station. Hopefully, the search will have completed and they could
      also call the 2 nurses in the station to question.
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