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Re: Mary Ann Carlquist

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  • MsCarstairs@worldnet.att.net
    ... here it is i hope you you can help. Sincerely, Mary Ann Carlquist Title: Surface Warfare Redux Author: Mary Ann Carlquist E-Mail Address:
    Message 1 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
      --- In Beta_Unlimited@y..., Johanna Hupp-Clark <jhuppcla@k...> wrote:
      >
      > I volunteer to beta your fic.
      >
      > Jo
      >
      > 'From childhood's hour, I have not been
      > As others were; I have not seen
      > As others saw; I could not bring
      > My passions from a common spring.'
      >
      > -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.
      >
      > 'We live and think we've made a mark,
      > But when our time has come,
      > We have to stop and think,
      > Does anyone know we've gone?'
      >
      > -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.




      here it is i hope you you can help.

      Sincerely,

      Mary Ann Carlquist
      Title: Surface Warfare Redux
      Author: Mary Ann Carlquist
      E-Mail Address: Ms.Carstairs@...
      Spoilers: Surface Warfare
      Summary: This is my own ending to Surface Warfare
      Author's Note: Sorry about the punctuation mine pretty
      muchs stinks.

      Disclaimer: Jag and it's characters do not belong to me
      they are the property of CBS and Donald Bellisario.



      The evening had kicked into high gear.Everyone was all decked out
      in their best formal wear. The woman in their desinger evening gowns
      the men in their best mess dress and black tie a mixed bag of
      military
      brass and Washington's who's who. By now most of the guests could be
      found
      either knee deep in the usual cocktail party chit-chat or out on the
      dance
      floor.Which was the one area of the room a certain 6 foot Four naval
      aviator
      couldn't seem to peel his eyes away from.


      Harm stood at the bar across the room and stared back at Mac and
      Brumby
      who were out there tripping the light fantastic. Mac's low cut red
      dress
      swaying with her every movement to the music.God how he hated seeing
      her in
      Brumby's arms and to top it all off he had accounced not only to Mac
      but pratically
      the entire ballroom full of people that he had resigned his
      commission in the Royal
      Australian Navy and was moving to DC to be near Mac or as Brumby had
      put it 'The Woman
      I love'. That comment alone was enough to bring bile to his throat.
      Couldn't she see
      how completely wrong for her was, he's arrogant, pushy. and
      completely devoid of
      any type of class.

      Max needed a man who understood her strengths, her weaknesses,
      someone who could
      challenge her stimulate her be her friend as well as her lover.
      Somebody- like like
      him. The sudden realization hit him like a mack truck.


      He loved Mac no matter what he'd always tried to tell himself.That
      was the reason
      he could never stand to see her with any other man besides him and
      that was the
      reason he couldn't stand seein her with Brumby now.

      At that point the nagging little voice in his head began to take
      over "So do
      something about it sailor." Harm grabbed his drink off the bar and
      made his way
      back to the table to wait for Renee. He knew they couldn't continue
      seeing eachother
      no matter what his feelings were for her, Mac was the woman he loved
      and he couldn't
      stand living one more minute without telling her showing her how much
      she meant to him.



      Mac and Brumby slowed danced to the romantic music filling the
      ballroom.Mac was
      doing her best to pretend she was having a good time.But truth be
      told she couldn't
      get her mind off what Mic had said tonight.HE actually resigned from
      the Royal Australian
      Navy and packed up his entire life all in an effort to be near her.So
      why wasn't she
      in the least bit happy about it?.

      He was kind, attentive, and he loved her and in certain ways she did
      love him
      but it wasn't the kind of love that made her want to consider
      buliding a future
      with him. She knew what she had to do neither of them could go on
      like this much
      longer.She had to be honest with him before she allowed him to get in
      any deeper
      than he already was.

      Mac lifted her head from Mic's shoulder and looked into his eyes.He
      smiled
      back at her blissfully unaware of what Mac had on her mind.

      "I can't do this anymore," Mac said. "That's fine. I could use a
      breather myself,
      why don't you go back and sit down and I'll get us something to
      drink," Mic relpied.


      "I'm not talking about the dancing. I mean this." Mac waved her hand
      back and forth
      between them indicating the two of them. "I see," Mic said
      flatly."Why don't we sit
      down." Mic grabbed Mac's hand in his and lead her away from the dance
      floor.Once they
      were seated Mic looked into Mac's eyes and mentally braced himself
      what he knew
      was coming.


      "It's him isn't it you love him don't you?," Mic asked knowing the
      answer Ilove you,"
      Mac said. "But not enough to want to marry me," Mic replied "I'm
      sorry," Mac said.
      "I wish I could offer you more than just a lame apology I wish I
      could be the one
      who would love you with her whole heart the one who would leap into
      your arms and
      shout "YES" at the top of her lungs at the thougth of marriage to
      you. I'm not that
      Sarah paused for a moment screwing up her courage to continue.I'm
      not that woman God
      knows I've tried to be" she removed the engagement ring from her
      right hand and pressed
      it into the palm of Mic's hand. "Here," she said "In your heart you
      know that's who
      this ring was meant for" Mac started to get up from the table but she
      was stopped by
      the pressure of Mic's hand on her arm."Sarah he's lucky" Mac bent
      down to him placed
      a soft kiss on his lips and strided away.Something which didn't
      escape Renee's notice.


      Renee stood across the vast ballroom only half-listening to the
      conversation being
      bantered about among the secnav, Admiral Chedwidden and his
      girlfriend.Her focus was
      more on Harm and watching him out of the corner of her eyes just as
      she had been doing
      all evening.He seemed to be in his own little world.Something that
      didn't entirely
      surprise her given the way his eyes kept darting back and forth to
      Sarah Mackenzie all
      night.Renee had the feeling the Colonel was the main subject of all
      his thoughs tonight.
      She tried to ignore it tried to tell herself it didn't mean anything
      but she knew she
      was kidding herself Harm was attractive,charming,romantic and taken
      and not by her by
      his partner and from what she's heard the few times she's been to Jag
      headquarters his
      best friend and dare she add soulmate to the list.

      She knew what she had to do although if she were really honest with
      herself she wasn't
      particualry looking forward to handing the man she had come to care
      so much for over
      to another woman.

      Needing to extradicte herself from the conversation Renee politely
      excused herself
      and started back towards Mac.She watched as Mac navigated her way
      through the crowded
      ballroom and out towards the bank of elevators."Now's my chance,"
      Renee mused.As she
      rushed through the crowd after her intented target.

      Mac stood out in front of the elevator waiting for the car to come
      back up she
      pushed the down button for the umpteenth time "Come on,come on" she
      pounded on the
      doors her impatience growing she had to get out of here sort through
      her feelings.

      Finally the distinct sound of the dinging elevator as it made the
      slow climb
      back up to the 4th floor ballroom broke through her impatience.She
      was just about
      to step through the open doors when she was stopped dead in her
      tracks by Renee's
      voice coming from behind her."Mac we need to talk," Renee said "Renee
      this is not
      a good time," Mac replied her back still to her Renee closed the
      small distance
      between them and grabbed Mac by the arm whirling her around to look
      at her."Well
      make it a good time this is important it's about Harm"

      Mac getting annoyed "And what makes you think I'm even remotely
      interested in
      what you have to say?" "Oh I think you'll be very interested but we
      can't talk here
      I know a place we can go" Renee turned away from her and started down
      the hall she
      walked a few feet before she realized Mac wasn't following.

      Renee walked back to where Mac stood "Look I know you're no fan of
      mine but we
      both care very much about Harm so for his sake will you please come
      with me?"

      Mac giving in "Allright lead the way," Mac replied midly curious as
      to what Renee
      had to say.


      They walked a few doors down from the ballroom until they came to two
      glass doors
      that ran parall to the corridor.Which lead out into the hotel's
      indoor pool the room
      was a large enclosed atrium surrounded by huge glass windows.A
      massive skylight overhead
      hung above the pool.The lights from the water below making it appear
      as if the shimmering
      waves from the water below were dancing throught he velvet
      blackness.Casading the steele
      and glass in a soft clear hue.


      Reneee pulled the door opened and walked in first followed by Mac.The
      air was so
      cool and light against her skin such a pleasant contrast to the stark
      stuffy ballroom.

      Even if she did have to share it with Renee."Allright Renee were
      alone talk," Mac said
      sternly. "You know Mac when you work in and around the entertainment
      industry as
      long as I have you learn a little thing or two about chemistry you
      know that quality
      that makes an on screen pairing click.Tom Hamks and Meg Ryan
      chemistry Richard Gere
      and Julia Roberts chemistry you and Harm let's face it there's enough
      electrity between
      you to light up downtown Los Angeles however there's always been one
      too many people
      standing in your way"Renee looked down at Mac's bare ring finger and
      grabbed her hand
      in her's "And I see you've already removed one of them from the
      equation."

      "That's none of your business," Mac replied as she pulled her hand
      out of Renee's

      "It is if you want Harm," Renee retorted Mac walks over to one of the
      lounge
      chairs arranged aroung the outer deck of the pool and sits
      down. "What is this
      the part where you tell me it's in my best interest to steer clear of
      your man,"
      Mac asked.

      "No. no," Renee replied "I know deep down that his being with me
      won't erase what
      he feels for you in his heart"

      "You're walking away just like that"


      "Think of it more as I'm sparing Harm the chore of dumping me even a
      shallow
      self centered video princess like me can regonize when two people
      belong together"

      "I UH umm" Mac just stared back at Renee dumbfounded "You didn't
      think I knew
      you called me that did you?"


      "I never said shallow and self centered," Mac replied Renee let out a
      small
      laugh as she walked over and sat down beside Mac on the lounge
      chair."It's okay
      I knew from the begining you and I weren't going to be joined at the
      lips now
      if I were you Colonel I wouldn't keep the man I love waiting much
      longer."


      Harm scanned the room looking for Mac he couldn't see her anywhere
      come to
      think of it Renee had disppeared to.He canvased the room one more
      time until
      his eyes fell upon the dance floor where Bud and Harriet danced a
      slow number.Maybe
      one of them has seen Mac Harm thought.Harm walked over to the dance
      floor and made
      his way over to the couple. "Bud,Harriet" Harm nodded in her
      direction"Have you seen
      Mac" "No. sir," Bud replied "Not for the last half hour at least not
      since I saw
      her giving the commander back his ring." "She what," Harm asked "She
      gave the
      Commander back his ring he skulked out of here shortlym after the
      Colonel"

      "Thank You Bud," Harm replied with that he turned on his heel and
      dashe out
      of the room "You're welcome sir," Bud shouted after him.


      'Maybe this will be just what they need to admit their feelings,"
      Harriet chirped
      to her husband."I hope so Harriet those two were meant for
      eachother," Bud said as
      they resumed their dance.


      Harm came racing out of the ballroom looking through the multitude of
      people
      that began to filter out from the party.Mac hadn't been among any of
      them.He
      looked down at the end of the corridor and noticed the open patio
      door.Maybe she
      went for some air he disappered down the hallway and towrads the open
      door.


      Harm stopped as he came upon the scene before him what he saw nearly
      floored him
      Mac and Renee talking no not just talking hugging.

      Renee released Mac from the embrace and looked back over at the open
      door Harm was
      standing there peering in at them.Mac still had her back to the door
      so she didn't
      see him.Renee caught his attention and motiuoned for him to stay
      where he was."Ah Mac,
      I'm going to leave you alone for a bit think about what I said"

      "I will and Thank You" "You're welcome," Renee said before walking
      out.


      Renee crossed over to the open door and pulled Harm aside out of
      Mac's line
      of sight."Go to her Harm put your arms around her tell her how you
      feel," Renee
      urged reaching her hand up she brought it to Harm's face turning him
      to look at
      her.

      "Renee I'm sorry I didn't mean for" Renee put her fingers to his lips
      preventing
      him from finishing."No apologies" she removed her fingers from his
      lips replacing'them
      with her own she gave him a quick kiss."Take care of yourself."

      "You too," Harm replied Renee turned and walked back down the
      corridor.



      Harm knew what he had to do now and he wasn't going to waste another
      minute
      he turned and walked back down the hall a plan forumlating in his
      head.


      Mac sat still in the lounge chair she had been sitting in earlier
      trying desperately
      to come to terms with what Renee just dropped in her lap could Harm
      really love her?
      dis she have a chance with him?

      Mac so emersed in her thoughts she didn't even notice one of the
      waiters from the
      ballroom striding through the door towards her.

      "Excuse me miss are you Sarah Mackenzie?" Mac turned at the voice
      coming from
      behind her what was with everybody sneaking up on her today? "Yes,
      I'm Sarah Mackenzie
      "Then this is for you" The waiter handed her a small white envelope
      and made his exit
      leaving Mac alone again.

      Mac tore the envelope open and removed a single sheet of paper
      emblazened with the Hotel's
      logo along with a key.She stared at it a moment and turned her
      attention back to the paper,
      getting it unfolded she started to read.


      Dear Sarah,

      When Diane died I felt as though a part of me had died with her but
      the pain
      of that loss was nothing compared to the pain I have felt these past
      few months
      watching you with Brumby.Every day I look at that ring on your finger
      and I get this

      ache in my chest like someone reached in grabbed a hold of my heart
      and tore it from
      my body.And I see the life he is offering you laid out in front of me
      like a screenplay
      in my head it's not Brumby I see standing at the end of the aisle
      waitng for you on
      your wedding day it's nor Brumby I see rocking our child to sleep at
      night and it's not
      Brumby I picture you growing old with.That's our life, that's our
      child and those are
      our memories.Memories we have a lifetime to build together if you'll
      still have me.Take
      the key Sarah come to me if the answers yes.


      Harm




      Harm's Apartment
      North Of Union Station


      Sarah raced off the elevator making a beeline for Harm's door she
      took the
      key from her purse and let herself in.The room was almost in total
      darkness
      except for the candles Harm had stratically placed throughout the
      apartment
      bathing the room in flickering candelight.Sarah closed the door
      behind her
      and walked further into the living room.The sweet scent of rose
      petals assaulting
      her nostrils they were scattered praqctically everywhere on the
      floor,the couch,
      the cofee table Sarah peeked into the bedroom they were ont the bed
      as well.She
      noticed the bathroom door was closed and the light on.That explianed
      why he gave
      her the key in case he wasn't out by the time she got here."Allright
      flyboy what are
      you up to"


      Just then Harm emereged from the bedroom clad only in a black
      bathrobe and matching
      silk boxer shorts a seductive gleam in his eyes.Mac turned at the
      sound of him coming
      into the room the breath nearly leaving her body when she saw him
      and what he was
      wearing.Mac thought she'd never seen Harm look more sexy except when
      he was in dress
      whites of course.


      Before she knew what was happening Harm had gathered her in in his
      arms and pulled
      her close to him.She looked up into his eyes and smiled not wanting
      to break the gaze
      her arms snaking around his neck."Nice outfit," she said.As she
      looked him up and down
      before bringing her eyes back up to meet his.'Just a little something
      I threw on,"he
      replied his incredible flyboy grin coming to his lips."You wouldn't
      be trying to take
      advantage of me would you?," she asked playfully "Absouletly" "Good,"
      she replied
      because this dress is getting a little hot I think I should get out
      of it as soon as
      possible care to help me Commander," she asked as she removed her
      arms from around
      his neck and hooked them around her back to undo the zipper.

      "Yes, ma'am," Harm replied as he reached his own hands around Mac's
      back until
      they were untwined with her's together they guided the zipper slowly
      down her back
      reaching back up to her shoulder's Harm drew the material away from
      her scantily clad
      body and dropped it to the floor leaving it in a pool of red silk at
      her feet.


      "Oh there's just one more thing," Mac said as Harm gathered her up in
      his arms
      and carried her into the bedroom."What's that," he asked as he
      dropped her to the
      bed and covered her body with his she pulled back from him a few
      centimeters and
      looked into his eyes "I love you too"



      The End there's another ending after this I couldn't make up my mind
      about
      which one to use so I included them both.The song I Still Love You
      More can
      be found on Trisha Yearwood's CD Where Your Road Leads.




      Mac sat in one of the lounge chairs arranged around the outer deck of
      the pool
      her legs propped up comfortably in front of her.Images of her and
      Harm flooded
      her mind.Mac was so engrossed in her thoughts she didn't even notice
      one of the
      waiters from the ballroom striding through the door towards
      her."Excuse me are you
      Sarah Mackenzie?" the voice from behind Mac's chair barked out at
      her.Mac threw her
      legs over the side of the lounge chair and looked up at the young man
      before her

      "Yes, I'm Sarah Mackenzie," Mac replied "Then this is for you," The
      waiter said
      he handed her the envelope and turned and walked back through the
      glass doors.

      Mac stared at the envelope a moment before she tore it open and
      unfolded the
      paper inside.Getting it open she found only one setence in big bold
      letters
      MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE.


      Mac looked up just as Harm came strideing through the door his hand
      outstrecthed to her she got up from the lounge chair and made her way
      to him just as the sweet strains of Trisha Yearwood's voice came
      flooding
      through the overhead sound system.


      Harm pulled Mac into his tight embrace as they swayed to the rhythm
      of the
      music.The somg's tender romantic message reining down on them as they
      danced.
      Mac put her head on Harm's chest as he twirled her around the room.



      Ask me how much you mean to me/ And I wouldn't even know where to
      start/ Ask if this love runs deep in me/ And you won't find a deeper
      love in any heart/ You could say you couldn't live one day without
      me/ You could say all of your thoughts are about me/ You could think
      no other love could be as strong/ But you'd be wrong Chorus: / If you
      say that you love me/ More than anybody/ Than anyone's ever been
      loved before/ As much as you love me/ Baby I'll still love you more/
      Baby I'll still love you more/ I'll still love you more/ Ask me just
      what I'd do for you/ And I'll tell you I would do anything/ Ask if
      this heart beats true for you/ And I'll show you a truer heart could
      never be/ You could say there's not a star that you won't bring me/
      You could say there'll be no day that you won't need me/ You could
      think no other love could last as long/ But you'd be wrong/ You'd
      be wrong/ (Repeat Chorus) / And for every kiss/ I'll kiss you back
      a hundred times/ And for everything you do/ I'll just do more/ And
      for all the love you give/ I'll give you so much back you'll see/
      Got so much love for you inside/ (Repeat Chorus) / If you say that
      you love me/ More than anybody/ Than anyone's ever been loved
      before/


      No matter how much you love me/ Baby I'll still love you/ Baby I'll
      still love you more,
      yeah/ I'll still love you more
    • MsCarstairs@worldnet.att.net
      ... thank you someone is helping me out i just got their reply to my message today but thank you. Sincerely, Mary Ann Carlquist emailaddress:
      Message 2 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
        --- In Beta_Unlimited@y..., Caina Fuller <Cainaq1@y...> wrote:
        >
        > Thanks Jo! Here it is.
        > Johanna Hupp-Clark <jhuppcla@k...> wrote:
        > I volunteer to beta your fic.
        >
        > Jo
        >
        > 'From childhood's hour, I have not been
        > As others were; I have not seen
        > As others saw; I could not bring
        > My passions from a common spring.'
        >
        > -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.
        >
        > 'We live and think we've made a mark,
        > But when our time has come,
        > We have to stop and think,
        > Does anyone know we've gone?'
        >
        > -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.


        thank you someone is helping me out i just got their reply
        to my message today but thank you.


        Sincerely,

        Mary Ann Carlquist


        emailaddress: mscarstairs@...
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