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Re: Mary Ann Carlquist

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  • MsCarstairs@worldnet.att.net
    ... i just got your message thank you so much i have been looking for someone to beta read my stories for awhile this one is something i wrote a long time ago
    Message 1 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
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      --- In Beta_Unlimited@y..., Johanna Hupp-Clark <jhuppcla@k...> wrote:
      >
      > I volunteer to beta your fic.
      >
      > Jo
      >
      > 'From childhood's hour, I have not been
      > As others were; I have not seen
      > As others saw; I could not bring
      > My passions from a common spring.'
      >
      > -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.
      >
      > 'We live and think we've made a mark,
      > But when our time has come,
      > We have to stop and think,
      > Does anyone know we've gone?'
      >
      > -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.




      i just got your message thank you so much i have been looking
      for someone to beta read my stories for awhile this one is
      something i wrote a long time ago it's a little rough around
      the edges and forgive my punctuation it for lack of a better
      term stinks. but i have since bought a book on grammar and
      punctuation and also find myself consulting the spell and grammar
      check in word a lot more often.

      let me know when you want me to send you the story also
      would you ever consider beta reading a script? i'm a screnwriter
      who's currently in the middle of revisions and i really need
      someone's input as to whether i've finally grasp the finer points
      of punctuation.as well as making sure the story flows properly.


      Sincerely,

      Mary Ann Carlquist

      emailaddress: mscarstairs@...
    • Caina Fuller
      Thanks Jo! Here it is. Johanna Hupp-Clark wrote: I volunteer to beta your fic. Jo From childhood s hour, I have not been As others were; I
      Message 2 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
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         Thanks Jo! Here it is.

          Johanna Hupp-Clark <jhuppcla@...> wrote:


        I volunteer to beta your fic.

        Jo

        'From childhood's hour, I have not been
        As others were; I have not seen
        As others saw; I could not bring
        My passions from a common spring.'

                     -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.

        'We live and think we've made a mark,
        But when our time has come,
        We have to stop and think,
        Does anyone know we've gone?'

                     -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.

            




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      • MsCarstairs@worldnet.att.net
        ... here it is i hope you you can help. Sincerely, Mary Ann Carlquist Title: Surface Warfare Redux Author: Mary Ann Carlquist E-Mail Address:
        Message 3 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
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          --- In Beta_Unlimited@y..., Johanna Hupp-Clark <jhuppcla@k...> wrote:
          >
          > I volunteer to beta your fic.
          >
          > Jo
          >
          > 'From childhood's hour, I have not been
          > As others were; I have not seen
          > As others saw; I could not bring
          > My passions from a common spring.'
          >
          > -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.
          >
          > 'We live and think we've made a mark,
          > But when our time has come,
          > We have to stop and think,
          > Does anyone know we've gone?'
          >
          > -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.




          here it is i hope you you can help.

          Sincerely,

          Mary Ann Carlquist
          Title: Surface Warfare Redux
          Author: Mary Ann Carlquist
          E-Mail Address: Ms.Carstairs@...
          Spoilers: Surface Warfare
          Summary: This is my own ending to Surface Warfare
          Author's Note: Sorry about the punctuation mine pretty
          muchs stinks.

          Disclaimer: Jag and it's characters do not belong to me
          they are the property of CBS and Donald Bellisario.



          The evening had kicked into high gear.Everyone was all decked out
          in their best formal wear. The woman in their desinger evening gowns
          the men in their best mess dress and black tie a mixed bag of
          military
          brass and Washington's who's who. By now most of the guests could be
          found
          either knee deep in the usual cocktail party chit-chat or out on the
          dance
          floor.Which was the one area of the room a certain 6 foot Four naval
          aviator
          couldn't seem to peel his eyes away from.


          Harm stood at the bar across the room and stared back at Mac and
          Brumby
          who were out there tripping the light fantastic. Mac's low cut red
          dress
          swaying with her every movement to the music.God how he hated seeing
          her in
          Brumby's arms and to top it all off he had accounced not only to Mac
          but pratically
          the entire ballroom full of people that he had resigned his
          commission in the Royal
          Australian Navy and was moving to DC to be near Mac or as Brumby had
          put it 'The Woman
          I love'. That comment alone was enough to bring bile to his throat.
          Couldn't she see
          how completely wrong for her was, he's arrogant, pushy. and
          completely devoid of
          any type of class.

          Max needed a man who understood her strengths, her weaknesses,
          someone who could
          challenge her stimulate her be her friend as well as her lover.
          Somebody- like like
          him. The sudden realization hit him like a mack truck.


          He loved Mac no matter what he'd always tried to tell himself.That
          was the reason
          he could never stand to see her with any other man besides him and
          that was the
          reason he couldn't stand seein her with Brumby now.

          At that point the nagging little voice in his head began to take
          over "So do
          something about it sailor." Harm grabbed his drink off the bar and
          made his way
          back to the table to wait for Renee. He knew they couldn't continue
          seeing eachother
          no matter what his feelings were for her, Mac was the woman he loved
          and he couldn't
          stand living one more minute without telling her showing her how much
          she meant to him.



          Mac and Brumby slowed danced to the romantic music filling the
          ballroom.Mac was
          doing her best to pretend she was having a good time.But truth be
          told she couldn't
          get her mind off what Mic had said tonight.HE actually resigned from
          the Royal Australian
          Navy and packed up his entire life all in an effort to be near her.So
          why wasn't she
          in the least bit happy about it?.

          He was kind, attentive, and he loved her and in certain ways she did
          love him
          but it wasn't the kind of love that made her want to consider
          buliding a future
          with him. She knew what she had to do neither of them could go on
          like this much
          longer.She had to be honest with him before she allowed him to get in
          any deeper
          than he already was.

          Mac lifted her head from Mic's shoulder and looked into his eyes.He
          smiled
          back at her blissfully unaware of what Mac had on her mind.

          "I can't do this anymore," Mac said. "That's fine. I could use a
          breather myself,
          why don't you go back and sit down and I'll get us something to
          drink," Mic relpied.


          "I'm not talking about the dancing. I mean this." Mac waved her hand
          back and forth
          between them indicating the two of them. "I see," Mic said
          flatly."Why don't we sit
          down." Mic grabbed Mac's hand in his and lead her away from the dance
          floor.Once they
          were seated Mic looked into Mac's eyes and mentally braced himself
          what he knew
          was coming.


          "It's him isn't it you love him don't you?," Mic asked knowing the
          answer Ilove you,"
          Mac said. "But not enough to want to marry me," Mic replied "I'm
          sorry," Mac said.
          "I wish I could offer you more than just a lame apology I wish I
          could be the one
          who would love you with her whole heart the one who would leap into
          your arms and
          shout "YES" at the top of her lungs at the thougth of marriage to
          you. I'm not that
          Sarah paused for a moment screwing up her courage to continue.I'm
          not that woman God
          knows I've tried to be" she removed the engagement ring from her
          right hand and pressed
          it into the palm of Mic's hand. "Here," she said "In your heart you
          know that's who
          this ring was meant for" Mac started to get up from the table but she
          was stopped by
          the pressure of Mic's hand on her arm."Sarah he's lucky" Mac bent
          down to him placed
          a soft kiss on his lips and strided away.Something which didn't
          escape Renee's notice.


          Renee stood across the vast ballroom only half-listening to the
          conversation being
          bantered about among the secnav, Admiral Chedwidden and his
          girlfriend.Her focus was
          more on Harm and watching him out of the corner of her eyes just as
          she had been doing
          all evening.He seemed to be in his own little world.Something that
          didn't entirely
          surprise her given the way his eyes kept darting back and forth to
          Sarah Mackenzie all
          night.Renee had the feeling the Colonel was the main subject of all
          his thoughs tonight.
          She tried to ignore it tried to tell herself it didn't mean anything
          but she knew she
          was kidding herself Harm was attractive,charming,romantic and taken
          and not by her by
          his partner and from what she's heard the few times she's been to Jag
          headquarters his
          best friend and dare she add soulmate to the list.

          She knew what she had to do although if she were really honest with
          herself she wasn't
          particualry looking forward to handing the man she had come to care
          so much for over
          to another woman.

          Needing to extradicte herself from the conversation Renee politely
          excused herself
          and started back towards Mac.She watched as Mac navigated her way
          through the crowded
          ballroom and out towards the bank of elevators."Now's my chance,"
          Renee mused.As she
          rushed through the crowd after her intented target.

          Mac stood out in front of the elevator waiting for the car to come
          back up she
          pushed the down button for the umpteenth time "Come on,come on" she
          pounded on the
          doors her impatience growing she had to get out of here sort through
          her feelings.

          Finally the distinct sound of the dinging elevator as it made the
          slow climb
          back up to the 4th floor ballroom broke through her impatience.She
          was just about
          to step through the open doors when she was stopped dead in her
          tracks by Renee's
          voice coming from behind her."Mac we need to talk," Renee said "Renee
          this is not
          a good time," Mac replied her back still to her Renee closed the
          small distance
          between them and grabbed Mac by the arm whirling her around to look
          at her."Well
          make it a good time this is important it's about Harm"

          Mac getting annoyed "And what makes you think I'm even remotely
          interested in
          what you have to say?" "Oh I think you'll be very interested but we
          can't talk here
          I know a place we can go" Renee turned away from her and started down
          the hall she
          walked a few feet before she realized Mac wasn't following.

          Renee walked back to where Mac stood "Look I know you're no fan of
          mine but we
          both care very much about Harm so for his sake will you please come
          with me?"

          Mac giving in "Allright lead the way," Mac replied midly curious as
          to what Renee
          had to say.


          They walked a few doors down from the ballroom until they came to two
          glass doors
          that ran parall to the corridor.Which lead out into the hotel's
          indoor pool the room
          was a large enclosed atrium surrounded by huge glass windows.A
          massive skylight overhead
          hung above the pool.The lights from the water below making it appear
          as if the shimmering
          waves from the water below were dancing throught he velvet
          blackness.Casading the steele
          and glass in a soft clear hue.


          Reneee pulled the door opened and walked in first followed by Mac.The
          air was so
          cool and light against her skin such a pleasant contrast to the stark
          stuffy ballroom.

          Even if she did have to share it with Renee."Allright Renee were
          alone talk," Mac said
          sternly. "You know Mac when you work in and around the entertainment
          industry as
          long as I have you learn a little thing or two about chemistry you
          know that quality
          that makes an on screen pairing click.Tom Hamks and Meg Ryan
          chemistry Richard Gere
          and Julia Roberts chemistry you and Harm let's face it there's enough
          electrity between
          you to light up downtown Los Angeles however there's always been one
          too many people
          standing in your way"Renee looked down at Mac's bare ring finger and
          grabbed her hand
          in her's "And I see you've already removed one of them from the
          equation."

          "That's none of your business," Mac replied as she pulled her hand
          out of Renee's

          "It is if you want Harm," Renee retorted Mac walks over to one of the
          lounge
          chairs arranged aroung the outer deck of the pool and sits
          down. "What is this
          the part where you tell me it's in my best interest to steer clear of
          your man,"
          Mac asked.

          "No. no," Renee replied "I know deep down that his being with me
          won't erase what
          he feels for you in his heart"

          "You're walking away just like that"


          "Think of it more as I'm sparing Harm the chore of dumping me even a
          shallow
          self centered video princess like me can regonize when two people
          belong together"

          "I UH umm" Mac just stared back at Renee dumbfounded "You didn't
          think I knew
          you called me that did you?"


          "I never said shallow and self centered," Mac replied Renee let out a
          small
          laugh as she walked over and sat down beside Mac on the lounge
          chair."It's okay
          I knew from the begining you and I weren't going to be joined at the
          lips now
          if I were you Colonel I wouldn't keep the man I love waiting much
          longer."


          Harm scanned the room looking for Mac he couldn't see her anywhere
          come to
          think of it Renee had disppeared to.He canvased the room one more
          time until
          his eyes fell upon the dance floor where Bud and Harriet danced a
          slow number.Maybe
          one of them has seen Mac Harm thought.Harm walked over to the dance
          floor and made
          his way over to the couple. "Bud,Harriet" Harm nodded in her
          direction"Have you seen
          Mac" "No. sir," Bud replied "Not for the last half hour at least not
          since I saw
          her giving the commander back his ring." "She what," Harm asked "She
          gave the
          Commander back his ring he skulked out of here shortlym after the
          Colonel"

          "Thank You Bud," Harm replied with that he turned on his heel and
          dashe out
          of the room "You're welcome sir," Bud shouted after him.


          'Maybe this will be just what they need to admit their feelings,"
          Harriet chirped
          to her husband."I hope so Harriet those two were meant for
          eachother," Bud said as
          they resumed their dance.


          Harm came racing out of the ballroom looking through the multitude of
          people
          that began to filter out from the party.Mac hadn't been among any of
          them.He
          looked down at the end of the corridor and noticed the open patio
          door.Maybe she
          went for some air he disappered down the hallway and towrads the open
          door.


          Harm stopped as he came upon the scene before him what he saw nearly
          floored him
          Mac and Renee talking no not just talking hugging.

          Renee released Mac from the embrace and looked back over at the open
          door Harm was
          standing there peering in at them.Mac still had her back to the door
          so she didn't
          see him.Renee caught his attention and motiuoned for him to stay
          where he was."Ah Mac,
          I'm going to leave you alone for a bit think about what I said"

          "I will and Thank You" "You're welcome," Renee said before walking
          out.


          Renee crossed over to the open door and pulled Harm aside out of
          Mac's line
          of sight."Go to her Harm put your arms around her tell her how you
          feel," Renee
          urged reaching her hand up she brought it to Harm's face turning him
          to look at
          her.

          "Renee I'm sorry I didn't mean for" Renee put her fingers to his lips
          preventing
          him from finishing."No apologies" she removed her fingers from his
          lips replacing'them
          with her own she gave him a quick kiss."Take care of yourself."

          "You too," Harm replied Renee turned and walked back down the
          corridor.



          Harm knew what he had to do now and he wasn't going to waste another
          minute
          he turned and walked back down the hall a plan forumlating in his
          head.


          Mac sat still in the lounge chair she had been sitting in earlier
          trying desperately
          to come to terms with what Renee just dropped in her lap could Harm
          really love her?
          dis she have a chance with him?

          Mac so emersed in her thoughts she didn't even notice one of the
          waiters from the
          ballroom striding through the door towards her.

          "Excuse me miss are you Sarah Mackenzie?" Mac turned at the voice
          coming from
          behind her what was with everybody sneaking up on her today? "Yes,
          I'm Sarah Mackenzie
          "Then this is for you" The waiter handed her a small white envelope
          and made his exit
          leaving Mac alone again.

          Mac tore the envelope open and removed a single sheet of paper
          emblazened with the Hotel's
          logo along with a key.She stared at it a moment and turned her
          attention back to the paper,
          getting it unfolded she started to read.


          Dear Sarah,

          When Diane died I felt as though a part of me had died with her but
          the pain
          of that loss was nothing compared to the pain I have felt these past
          few months
          watching you with Brumby.Every day I look at that ring on your finger
          and I get this

          ache in my chest like someone reached in grabbed a hold of my heart
          and tore it from
          my body.And I see the life he is offering you laid out in front of me
          like a screenplay
          in my head it's not Brumby I see standing at the end of the aisle
          waitng for you on
          your wedding day it's nor Brumby I see rocking our child to sleep at
          night and it's not
          Brumby I picture you growing old with.That's our life, that's our
          child and those are
          our memories.Memories we have a lifetime to build together if you'll
          still have me.Take
          the key Sarah come to me if the answers yes.


          Harm




          Harm's Apartment
          North Of Union Station


          Sarah raced off the elevator making a beeline for Harm's door she
          took the
          key from her purse and let herself in.The room was almost in total
          darkness
          except for the candles Harm had stratically placed throughout the
          apartment
          bathing the room in flickering candelight.Sarah closed the door
          behind her
          and walked further into the living room.The sweet scent of rose
          petals assaulting
          her nostrils they were scattered praqctically everywhere on the
          floor,the couch,
          the cofee table Sarah peeked into the bedroom they were ont the bed
          as well.She
          noticed the bathroom door was closed and the light on.That explianed
          why he gave
          her the key in case he wasn't out by the time she got here."Allright
          flyboy what are
          you up to"


          Just then Harm emereged from the bedroom clad only in a black
          bathrobe and matching
          silk boxer shorts a seductive gleam in his eyes.Mac turned at the
          sound of him coming
          into the room the breath nearly leaving her body when she saw him
          and what he was
          wearing.Mac thought she'd never seen Harm look more sexy except when
          he was in dress
          whites of course.


          Before she knew what was happening Harm had gathered her in in his
          arms and pulled
          her close to him.She looked up into his eyes and smiled not wanting
          to break the gaze
          her arms snaking around his neck."Nice outfit," she said.As she
          looked him up and down
          before bringing her eyes back up to meet his.'Just a little something
          I threw on,"he
          replied his incredible flyboy grin coming to his lips."You wouldn't
          be trying to take
          advantage of me would you?," she asked playfully "Absouletly" "Good,"
          she replied
          because this dress is getting a little hot I think I should get out
          of it as soon as
          possible care to help me Commander," she asked as she removed her
          arms from around
          his neck and hooked them around her back to undo the zipper.

          "Yes, ma'am," Harm replied as he reached his own hands around Mac's
          back until
          they were untwined with her's together they guided the zipper slowly
          down her back
          reaching back up to her shoulder's Harm drew the material away from
          her scantily clad
          body and dropped it to the floor leaving it in a pool of red silk at
          her feet.


          "Oh there's just one more thing," Mac said as Harm gathered her up in
          his arms
          and carried her into the bedroom."What's that," he asked as he
          dropped her to the
          bed and covered her body with his she pulled back from him a few
          centimeters and
          looked into his eyes "I love you too"



          The End there's another ending after this I couldn't make up my mind
          about
          which one to use so I included them both.The song I Still Love You
          More can
          be found on Trisha Yearwood's CD Where Your Road Leads.




          Mac sat in one of the lounge chairs arranged around the outer deck of
          the pool
          her legs propped up comfortably in front of her.Images of her and
          Harm flooded
          her mind.Mac was so engrossed in her thoughts she didn't even notice
          one of the
          waiters from the ballroom striding through the door towards
          her."Excuse me are you
          Sarah Mackenzie?" the voice from behind Mac's chair barked out at
          her.Mac threw her
          legs over the side of the lounge chair and looked up at the young man
          before her

          "Yes, I'm Sarah Mackenzie," Mac replied "Then this is for you," The
          waiter said
          he handed her the envelope and turned and walked back through the
          glass doors.

          Mac stared at the envelope a moment before she tore it open and
          unfolded the
          paper inside.Getting it open she found only one setence in big bold
          letters
          MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE.


          Mac looked up just as Harm came strideing through the door his hand
          outstrecthed to her she got up from the lounge chair and made her way
          to him just as the sweet strains of Trisha Yearwood's voice came
          flooding
          through the overhead sound system.


          Harm pulled Mac into his tight embrace as they swayed to the rhythm
          of the
          music.The somg's tender romantic message reining down on them as they
          danced.
          Mac put her head on Harm's chest as he twirled her around the room.



          Ask me how much you mean to me/ And I wouldn't even know where to
          start/ Ask if this love runs deep in me/ And you won't find a deeper
          love in any heart/ You could say you couldn't live one day without
          me/ You could say all of your thoughts are about me/ You could think
          no other love could be as strong/ But you'd be wrong Chorus: / If you
          say that you love me/ More than anybody/ Than anyone's ever been
          loved before/ As much as you love me/ Baby I'll still love you more/
          Baby I'll still love you more/ I'll still love you more/ Ask me just
          what I'd do for you/ And I'll tell you I would do anything/ Ask if
          this heart beats true for you/ And I'll show you a truer heart could
          never be/ You could say there's not a star that you won't bring me/
          You could say there'll be no day that you won't need me/ You could
          think no other love could last as long/ But you'd be wrong/ You'd
          be wrong/ (Repeat Chorus) / And for every kiss/ I'll kiss you back
          a hundred times/ And for everything you do/ I'll just do more/ And
          for all the love you give/ I'll give you so much back you'll see/
          Got so much love for you inside/ (Repeat Chorus) / If you say that
          you love me/ More than anybody/ Than anyone's ever been loved
          before/


          No matter how much you love me/ Baby I'll still love you/ Baby I'll
          still love you more,
          yeah/ I'll still love you more
        • MsCarstairs@worldnet.att.net
          ... thank you someone is helping me out i just got their reply to my message today but thank you. Sincerely, Mary Ann Carlquist emailaddress:
          Message 4 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
          • 0 Attachment
            --- In Beta_Unlimited@y..., Caina Fuller <Cainaq1@y...> wrote:
            >
            > Thanks Jo! Here it is.
            > Johanna Hupp-Clark <jhuppcla@k...> wrote:
            > I volunteer to beta your fic.
            >
            > Jo
            >
            > 'From childhood's hour, I have not been
            > As others were; I have not seen
            > As others saw; I could not bring
            > My passions from a common spring.'
            >
            > -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.
            >
            > 'We live and think we've made a mark,
            > But when our time has come,
            > We have to stop and think,
            > Does anyone know we've gone?'
            >
            > -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.


            thank you someone is helping me out i just got their reply
            to my message today but thank you.


            Sincerely,

            Mary Ann Carlquist


            emailaddress: mscarstairs@...
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