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Mary Ann Carlquist

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  • Johanna Hupp-Clark
    I volunteer to beta your fic. Jo From childhood s hour, I have not been As others were; I have not seen As others saw; I could not bring My passions from a
    Message 1 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
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      I volunteer to beta your fic.

      Jo

      'From childhood's hour, I have not been
      As others were; I have not seen
      As others saw; I could not bring
      My passions from a common spring.'

      -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.

      'We live and think we've made a mark,
      But when our time has come,
      We have to stop and think,
      Does anyone know we've gone?'

      -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.
    • MsCarstairs@worldnet.att.net
      ... i just got your message thank you so much i have been looking for someone to beta read my stories for awhile this one is something i wrote a long time ago
      Message 2 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
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        --- In Beta_Unlimited@y..., Johanna Hupp-Clark <jhuppcla@k...> wrote:
        >
        > I volunteer to beta your fic.
        >
        > Jo
        >
        > 'From childhood's hour, I have not been
        > As others were; I have not seen
        > As others saw; I could not bring
        > My passions from a common spring.'
        >
        > -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.
        >
        > 'We live and think we've made a mark,
        > But when our time has come,
        > We have to stop and think,
        > Does anyone know we've gone?'
        >
        > -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.




        i just got your message thank you so much i have been looking
        for someone to beta read my stories for awhile this one is
        something i wrote a long time ago it's a little rough around
        the edges and forgive my punctuation it for lack of a better
        term stinks. but i have since bought a book on grammar and
        punctuation and also find myself consulting the spell and grammar
        check in word a lot more often.

        let me know when you want me to send you the story also
        would you ever consider beta reading a script? i'm a screnwriter
        who's currently in the middle of revisions and i really need
        someone's input as to whether i've finally grasp the finer points
        of punctuation.as well as making sure the story flows properly.


        Sincerely,

        Mary Ann Carlquist

        emailaddress: mscarstairs@...
      • Caina Fuller
        Thanks Jo! Here it is. Johanna Hupp-Clark wrote: I volunteer to beta your fic. Jo From childhood s hour, I have not been As others were; I
        Message 3 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
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           Thanks Jo! Here it is.

            Johanna Hupp-Clark <jhuppcla@...> wrote:


          I volunteer to beta your fic.

          Jo

          'From childhood's hour, I have not been
          As others were; I have not seen
          As others saw; I could not bring
          My passions from a common spring.'

                       -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.

          'We live and think we've made a mark,
          But when our time has come,
          We have to stop and think,
          Does anyone know we've gone?'

                       -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.

              




          Fanfiction. A haven for you when reality sucks!

          Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.



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        • MsCarstairs@worldnet.att.net
          ... here it is i hope you you can help. Sincerely, Mary Ann Carlquist Title: Surface Warfare Redux Author: Mary Ann Carlquist E-Mail Address:
          Message 4 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
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            --- In Beta_Unlimited@y..., Johanna Hupp-Clark <jhuppcla@k...> wrote:
            >
            > I volunteer to beta your fic.
            >
            > Jo
            >
            > 'From childhood's hour, I have not been
            > As others were; I have not seen
            > As others saw; I could not bring
            > My passions from a common spring.'
            >
            > -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.
            >
            > 'We live and think we've made a mark,
            > But when our time has come,
            > We have to stop and think,
            > Does anyone know we've gone?'
            >
            > -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.




            here it is i hope you you can help.

            Sincerely,

            Mary Ann Carlquist
            Title: Surface Warfare Redux
            Author: Mary Ann Carlquist
            E-Mail Address: Ms.Carstairs@...
            Spoilers: Surface Warfare
            Summary: This is my own ending to Surface Warfare
            Author's Note: Sorry about the punctuation mine pretty
            muchs stinks.

            Disclaimer: Jag and it's characters do not belong to me
            they are the property of CBS and Donald Bellisario.



            The evening had kicked into high gear.Everyone was all decked out
            in their best formal wear. The woman in their desinger evening gowns
            the men in their best mess dress and black tie a mixed bag of
            military
            brass and Washington's who's who. By now most of the guests could be
            found
            either knee deep in the usual cocktail party chit-chat or out on the
            dance
            floor.Which was the one area of the room a certain 6 foot Four naval
            aviator
            couldn't seem to peel his eyes away from.


            Harm stood at the bar across the room and stared back at Mac and
            Brumby
            who were out there tripping the light fantastic. Mac's low cut red
            dress
            swaying with her every movement to the music.God how he hated seeing
            her in
            Brumby's arms and to top it all off he had accounced not only to Mac
            but pratically
            the entire ballroom full of people that he had resigned his
            commission in the Royal
            Australian Navy and was moving to DC to be near Mac or as Brumby had
            put it 'The Woman
            I love'. That comment alone was enough to bring bile to his throat.
            Couldn't she see
            how completely wrong for her was, he's arrogant, pushy. and
            completely devoid of
            any type of class.

            Max needed a man who understood her strengths, her weaknesses,
            someone who could
            challenge her stimulate her be her friend as well as her lover.
            Somebody- like like
            him. The sudden realization hit him like a mack truck.


            He loved Mac no matter what he'd always tried to tell himself.That
            was the reason
            he could never stand to see her with any other man besides him and
            that was the
            reason he couldn't stand seein her with Brumby now.

            At that point the nagging little voice in his head began to take
            over "So do
            something about it sailor." Harm grabbed his drink off the bar and
            made his way
            back to the table to wait for Renee. He knew they couldn't continue
            seeing eachother
            no matter what his feelings were for her, Mac was the woman he loved
            and he couldn't
            stand living one more minute without telling her showing her how much
            she meant to him.



            Mac and Brumby slowed danced to the romantic music filling the
            ballroom.Mac was
            doing her best to pretend she was having a good time.But truth be
            told she couldn't
            get her mind off what Mic had said tonight.HE actually resigned from
            the Royal Australian
            Navy and packed up his entire life all in an effort to be near her.So
            why wasn't she
            in the least bit happy about it?.

            He was kind, attentive, and he loved her and in certain ways she did
            love him
            but it wasn't the kind of love that made her want to consider
            buliding a future
            with him. She knew what she had to do neither of them could go on
            like this much
            longer.She had to be honest with him before she allowed him to get in
            any deeper
            than he already was.

            Mac lifted her head from Mic's shoulder and looked into his eyes.He
            smiled
            back at her blissfully unaware of what Mac had on her mind.

            "I can't do this anymore," Mac said. "That's fine. I could use a
            breather myself,
            why don't you go back and sit down and I'll get us something to
            drink," Mic relpied.


            "I'm not talking about the dancing. I mean this." Mac waved her hand
            back and forth
            between them indicating the two of them. "I see," Mic said
            flatly."Why don't we sit
            down." Mic grabbed Mac's hand in his and lead her away from the dance
            floor.Once they
            were seated Mic looked into Mac's eyes and mentally braced himself
            what he knew
            was coming.


            "It's him isn't it you love him don't you?," Mic asked knowing the
            answer Ilove you,"
            Mac said. "But not enough to want to marry me," Mic replied "I'm
            sorry," Mac said.
            "I wish I could offer you more than just a lame apology I wish I
            could be the one
            who would love you with her whole heart the one who would leap into
            your arms and
            shout "YES" at the top of her lungs at the thougth of marriage to
            you. I'm not that
            Sarah paused for a moment screwing up her courage to continue.I'm
            not that woman God
            knows I've tried to be" she removed the engagement ring from her
            right hand and pressed
            it into the palm of Mic's hand. "Here," she said "In your heart you
            know that's who
            this ring was meant for" Mac started to get up from the table but she
            was stopped by
            the pressure of Mic's hand on her arm."Sarah he's lucky" Mac bent
            down to him placed
            a soft kiss on his lips and strided away.Something which didn't
            escape Renee's notice.


            Renee stood across the vast ballroom only half-listening to the
            conversation being
            bantered about among the secnav, Admiral Chedwidden and his
            girlfriend.Her focus was
            more on Harm and watching him out of the corner of her eyes just as
            she had been doing
            all evening.He seemed to be in his own little world.Something that
            didn't entirely
            surprise her given the way his eyes kept darting back and forth to
            Sarah Mackenzie all
            night.Renee had the feeling the Colonel was the main subject of all
            his thoughs tonight.
            She tried to ignore it tried to tell herself it didn't mean anything
            but she knew she
            was kidding herself Harm was attractive,charming,romantic and taken
            and not by her by
            his partner and from what she's heard the few times she's been to Jag
            headquarters his
            best friend and dare she add soulmate to the list.

            She knew what she had to do although if she were really honest with
            herself she wasn't
            particualry looking forward to handing the man she had come to care
            so much for over
            to another woman.

            Needing to extradicte herself from the conversation Renee politely
            excused herself
            and started back towards Mac.She watched as Mac navigated her way
            through the crowded
            ballroom and out towards the bank of elevators."Now's my chance,"
            Renee mused.As she
            rushed through the crowd after her intented target.

            Mac stood out in front of the elevator waiting for the car to come
            back up she
            pushed the down button for the umpteenth time "Come on,come on" she
            pounded on the
            doors her impatience growing she had to get out of here sort through
            her feelings.

            Finally the distinct sound of the dinging elevator as it made the
            slow climb
            back up to the 4th floor ballroom broke through her impatience.She
            was just about
            to step through the open doors when she was stopped dead in her
            tracks by Renee's
            voice coming from behind her."Mac we need to talk," Renee said "Renee
            this is not
            a good time," Mac replied her back still to her Renee closed the
            small distance
            between them and grabbed Mac by the arm whirling her around to look
            at her."Well
            make it a good time this is important it's about Harm"

            Mac getting annoyed "And what makes you think I'm even remotely
            interested in
            what you have to say?" "Oh I think you'll be very interested but we
            can't talk here
            I know a place we can go" Renee turned away from her and started down
            the hall she
            walked a few feet before she realized Mac wasn't following.

            Renee walked back to where Mac stood "Look I know you're no fan of
            mine but we
            both care very much about Harm so for his sake will you please come
            with me?"

            Mac giving in "Allright lead the way," Mac replied midly curious as
            to what Renee
            had to say.


            They walked a few doors down from the ballroom until they came to two
            glass doors
            that ran parall to the corridor.Which lead out into the hotel's
            indoor pool the room
            was a large enclosed atrium surrounded by huge glass windows.A
            massive skylight overhead
            hung above the pool.The lights from the water below making it appear
            as if the shimmering
            waves from the water below were dancing throught he velvet
            blackness.Casading the steele
            and glass in a soft clear hue.


            Reneee pulled the door opened and walked in first followed by Mac.The
            air was so
            cool and light against her skin such a pleasant contrast to the stark
            stuffy ballroom.

            Even if she did have to share it with Renee."Allright Renee were
            alone talk," Mac said
            sternly. "You know Mac when you work in and around the entertainment
            industry as
            long as I have you learn a little thing or two about chemistry you
            know that quality
            that makes an on screen pairing click.Tom Hamks and Meg Ryan
            chemistry Richard Gere
            and Julia Roberts chemistry you and Harm let's face it there's enough
            electrity between
            you to light up downtown Los Angeles however there's always been one
            too many people
            standing in your way"Renee looked down at Mac's bare ring finger and
            grabbed her hand
            in her's "And I see you've already removed one of them from the
            equation."

            "That's none of your business," Mac replied as she pulled her hand
            out of Renee's

            "It is if you want Harm," Renee retorted Mac walks over to one of the
            lounge
            chairs arranged aroung the outer deck of the pool and sits
            down. "What is this
            the part where you tell me it's in my best interest to steer clear of
            your man,"
            Mac asked.

            "No. no," Renee replied "I know deep down that his being with me
            won't erase what
            he feels for you in his heart"

            "You're walking away just like that"


            "Think of it more as I'm sparing Harm the chore of dumping me even a
            shallow
            self centered video princess like me can regonize when two people
            belong together"

            "I UH umm" Mac just stared back at Renee dumbfounded "You didn't
            think I knew
            you called me that did you?"


            "I never said shallow and self centered," Mac replied Renee let out a
            small
            laugh as she walked over and sat down beside Mac on the lounge
            chair."It's okay
            I knew from the begining you and I weren't going to be joined at the
            lips now
            if I were you Colonel I wouldn't keep the man I love waiting much
            longer."


            Harm scanned the room looking for Mac he couldn't see her anywhere
            come to
            think of it Renee had disppeared to.He canvased the room one more
            time until
            his eyes fell upon the dance floor where Bud and Harriet danced a
            slow number.Maybe
            one of them has seen Mac Harm thought.Harm walked over to the dance
            floor and made
            his way over to the couple. "Bud,Harriet" Harm nodded in her
            direction"Have you seen
            Mac" "No. sir," Bud replied "Not for the last half hour at least not
            since I saw
            her giving the commander back his ring." "She what," Harm asked "She
            gave the
            Commander back his ring he skulked out of here shortlym after the
            Colonel"

            "Thank You Bud," Harm replied with that he turned on his heel and
            dashe out
            of the room "You're welcome sir," Bud shouted after him.


            'Maybe this will be just what they need to admit their feelings,"
            Harriet chirped
            to her husband."I hope so Harriet those two were meant for
            eachother," Bud said as
            they resumed their dance.


            Harm came racing out of the ballroom looking through the multitude of
            people
            that began to filter out from the party.Mac hadn't been among any of
            them.He
            looked down at the end of the corridor and noticed the open patio
            door.Maybe she
            went for some air he disappered down the hallway and towrads the open
            door.


            Harm stopped as he came upon the scene before him what he saw nearly
            floored him
            Mac and Renee talking no not just talking hugging.

            Renee released Mac from the embrace and looked back over at the open
            door Harm was
            standing there peering in at them.Mac still had her back to the door
            so she didn't
            see him.Renee caught his attention and motiuoned for him to stay
            where he was."Ah Mac,
            I'm going to leave you alone for a bit think about what I said"

            "I will and Thank You" "You're welcome," Renee said before walking
            out.


            Renee crossed over to the open door and pulled Harm aside out of
            Mac's line
            of sight."Go to her Harm put your arms around her tell her how you
            feel," Renee
            urged reaching her hand up she brought it to Harm's face turning him
            to look at
            her.

            "Renee I'm sorry I didn't mean for" Renee put her fingers to his lips
            preventing
            him from finishing."No apologies" she removed her fingers from his
            lips replacing'them
            with her own she gave him a quick kiss."Take care of yourself."

            "You too," Harm replied Renee turned and walked back down the
            corridor.



            Harm knew what he had to do now and he wasn't going to waste another
            minute
            he turned and walked back down the hall a plan forumlating in his
            head.


            Mac sat still in the lounge chair she had been sitting in earlier
            trying desperately
            to come to terms with what Renee just dropped in her lap could Harm
            really love her?
            dis she have a chance with him?

            Mac so emersed in her thoughts she didn't even notice one of the
            waiters from the
            ballroom striding through the door towards her.

            "Excuse me miss are you Sarah Mackenzie?" Mac turned at the voice
            coming from
            behind her what was with everybody sneaking up on her today? "Yes,
            I'm Sarah Mackenzie
            "Then this is for you" The waiter handed her a small white envelope
            and made his exit
            leaving Mac alone again.

            Mac tore the envelope open and removed a single sheet of paper
            emblazened with the Hotel's
            logo along with a key.She stared at it a moment and turned her
            attention back to the paper,
            getting it unfolded she started to read.


            Dear Sarah,

            When Diane died I felt as though a part of me had died with her but
            the pain
            of that loss was nothing compared to the pain I have felt these past
            few months
            watching you with Brumby.Every day I look at that ring on your finger
            and I get this

            ache in my chest like someone reached in grabbed a hold of my heart
            and tore it from
            my body.And I see the life he is offering you laid out in front of me
            like a screenplay
            in my head it's not Brumby I see standing at the end of the aisle
            waitng for you on
            your wedding day it's nor Brumby I see rocking our child to sleep at
            night and it's not
            Brumby I picture you growing old with.That's our life, that's our
            child and those are
            our memories.Memories we have a lifetime to build together if you'll
            still have me.Take
            the key Sarah come to me if the answers yes.


            Harm




            Harm's Apartment
            North Of Union Station


            Sarah raced off the elevator making a beeline for Harm's door she
            took the
            key from her purse and let herself in.The room was almost in total
            darkness
            except for the candles Harm had stratically placed throughout the
            apartment
            bathing the room in flickering candelight.Sarah closed the door
            behind her
            and walked further into the living room.The sweet scent of rose
            petals assaulting
            her nostrils they were scattered praqctically everywhere on the
            floor,the couch,
            the cofee table Sarah peeked into the bedroom they were ont the bed
            as well.She
            noticed the bathroom door was closed and the light on.That explianed
            why he gave
            her the key in case he wasn't out by the time she got here."Allright
            flyboy what are
            you up to"


            Just then Harm emereged from the bedroom clad only in a black
            bathrobe and matching
            silk boxer shorts a seductive gleam in his eyes.Mac turned at the
            sound of him coming
            into the room the breath nearly leaving her body when she saw him
            and what he was
            wearing.Mac thought she'd never seen Harm look more sexy except when
            he was in dress
            whites of course.


            Before she knew what was happening Harm had gathered her in in his
            arms and pulled
            her close to him.She looked up into his eyes and smiled not wanting
            to break the gaze
            her arms snaking around his neck."Nice outfit," she said.As she
            looked him up and down
            before bringing her eyes back up to meet his.'Just a little something
            I threw on,"he
            replied his incredible flyboy grin coming to his lips."You wouldn't
            be trying to take
            advantage of me would you?," she asked playfully "Absouletly" "Good,"
            she replied
            because this dress is getting a little hot I think I should get out
            of it as soon as
            possible care to help me Commander," she asked as she removed her
            arms from around
            his neck and hooked them around her back to undo the zipper.

            "Yes, ma'am," Harm replied as he reached his own hands around Mac's
            back until
            they were untwined with her's together they guided the zipper slowly
            down her back
            reaching back up to her shoulder's Harm drew the material away from
            her scantily clad
            body and dropped it to the floor leaving it in a pool of red silk at
            her feet.


            "Oh there's just one more thing," Mac said as Harm gathered her up in
            his arms
            and carried her into the bedroom."What's that," he asked as he
            dropped her to the
            bed and covered her body with his she pulled back from him a few
            centimeters and
            looked into his eyes "I love you too"



            The End there's another ending after this I couldn't make up my mind
            about
            which one to use so I included them both.The song I Still Love You
            More can
            be found on Trisha Yearwood's CD Where Your Road Leads.




            Mac sat in one of the lounge chairs arranged around the outer deck of
            the pool
            her legs propped up comfortably in front of her.Images of her and
            Harm flooded
            her mind.Mac was so engrossed in her thoughts she didn't even notice
            one of the
            waiters from the ballroom striding through the door towards
            her."Excuse me are you
            Sarah Mackenzie?" the voice from behind Mac's chair barked out at
            her.Mac threw her
            legs over the side of the lounge chair and looked up at the young man
            before her

            "Yes, I'm Sarah Mackenzie," Mac replied "Then this is for you," The
            waiter said
            he handed her the envelope and turned and walked back through the
            glass doors.

            Mac stared at the envelope a moment before she tore it open and
            unfolded the
            paper inside.Getting it open she found only one setence in big bold
            letters
            MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE.


            Mac looked up just as Harm came strideing through the door his hand
            outstrecthed to her she got up from the lounge chair and made her way
            to him just as the sweet strains of Trisha Yearwood's voice came
            flooding
            through the overhead sound system.


            Harm pulled Mac into his tight embrace as they swayed to the rhythm
            of the
            music.The somg's tender romantic message reining down on them as they
            danced.
            Mac put her head on Harm's chest as he twirled her around the room.



            Ask me how much you mean to me/ And I wouldn't even know where to
            start/ Ask if this love runs deep in me/ And you won't find a deeper
            love in any heart/ You could say you couldn't live one day without
            me/ You could say all of your thoughts are about me/ You could think
            no other love could be as strong/ But you'd be wrong Chorus: / If you
            say that you love me/ More than anybody/ Than anyone's ever been
            loved before/ As much as you love me/ Baby I'll still love you more/
            Baby I'll still love you more/ I'll still love you more/ Ask me just
            what I'd do for you/ And I'll tell you I would do anything/ Ask if
            this heart beats true for you/ And I'll show you a truer heart could
            never be/ You could say there's not a star that you won't bring me/
            You could say there'll be no day that you won't need me/ You could
            think no other love could last as long/ But you'd be wrong/ You'd
            be wrong/ (Repeat Chorus) / And for every kiss/ I'll kiss you back
            a hundred times/ And for everything you do/ I'll just do more/ And
            for all the love you give/ I'll give you so much back you'll see/
            Got so much love for you inside/ (Repeat Chorus) / If you say that
            you love me/ More than anybody/ Than anyone's ever been loved
            before/


            No matter how much you love me/ Baby I'll still love you/ Baby I'll
            still love you more,
            yeah/ I'll still love you more
          • MsCarstairs@worldnet.att.net
            ... thank you someone is helping me out i just got their reply to my message today but thank you. Sincerely, Mary Ann Carlquist emailaddress:
            Message 5 of 5 , Jun 7, 2001
            • 0 Attachment
              --- In Beta_Unlimited@y..., Caina Fuller <Cainaq1@y...> wrote:
              >
              > Thanks Jo! Here it is.
              > Johanna Hupp-Clark <jhuppcla@k...> wrote:
              > I volunteer to beta your fic.
              >
              > Jo
              >
              > 'From childhood's hour, I have not been
              > As others were; I have not seen
              > As others saw; I could not bring
              > My passions from a common spring.'
              >
              > -- from "Alone" by E.A.P.
              >
              > 'We live and think we've made a mark,
              > But when our time has come,
              > We have to stop and think,
              > Does anyone know we've gone?'
              >
              > -- from 'The Figurehead' by J.K.H.


              thank you someone is helping me out i just got their reply
              to my message today but thank you.


              Sincerely,

              Mary Ann Carlquist


              emailaddress: mscarstairs@...
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