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Forms of capitalism :)

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  • cagdas ozan ates
    Hi everybody, since it is sunday, I thought maybe we need some smile..I think this is a good work about understanding different forms of capitalism:) Have a
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 7 3:23 AM
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      Hi everybody,
      since it is sunday, I thought maybe we need some smile..I think this is a good work about understanding different forms of capitalism:)
      Have a nice sunday,
      Ozan

      FORMS OF CAPITALISM

      TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

      You have two cows.
      You sell one and buy a bull.
      Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
      You sell them and retire on the income.

      AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

      You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
      four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

      A FRENCH CORPORATION

      You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

      A JAPANESE CORPORATION

      You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
      ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow
      cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

      A GERMAN CORPORATION

      You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once
      a month, and milk themselves.

      A BRITISH CORPORATION

      You have two cows. Both are mad.

      AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

      You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

      A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

      You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
      them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
      have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

      A SWISS CORPORATION

      You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
      storing them.

      A CHINESE CORPORATION

      You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
      employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
      the numbers.

      AN INDIAN CORPORATION

      You have two cows. You worship them.

      ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:

      You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
      using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
      execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get
      all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of
      the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company
      secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
      cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns
      eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president
      of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided
      with the release. The public buys your bull.


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