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Re: [Beatty_Byrnes_DNA] Why have I been Banned?

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  • dnalister@comcast.net
    I am on a lot of mailing lists, and I wish I could say that administrators never simply tolerate rude and insulting behavior, but unless there is a lot more
    Message 1 of 8 , Mar 1, 2009
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      I am on a lot of mailing lists, and I wish I could say that administrators never simply tolerate rude and insulting behavior, but unless there is a lot more going on behind the scenes than comes through on these lists than I have been privy to, I know that it is simply not true. List administrators often have a very demanding job, and for some of the extremely active mailing lists, I have wondered if the administrators sometimes miss posts, or at least miss the nuances that might be more obvious if there weren't so many threads to follow. Sometimes, I think there are problems because what is perceived as rude and insulting by some people is not perceived as rude and insulting by others. So I think you are making your job as a list administrator sound a lot less complicated than it really is, and I am personally glad that those us in this Yahoo group have not had to deal with as much acrimony as I have seen on some of the other genetic genealogy lists.

      I hope that you, Vinny, and all of the rest of us in this group will find this list a comfortable place to share our thoughts as we move forward. There may be times when we are in disagreement, but if we are all vigilant, I think we can recognize when it is time for us to agree to disagree and focus on issues more ripe for discussion.

      Kirsten

      ----- Original Message -----
      From: "John Mclaughlin" <Lochlan@...>
      To: "Beatty Byrnes DNA" <Beatty_Byrnes_DNA@yahoogroups.com>
      Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 12:37:26 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
      Subject: Re: [Beatty_Byrnes_DNA] Why have I been Banned?

      <Why have I been Banned?

      You were banned because your little outburst was rude and insulting.
      That kind of behavior is not tolerated on any public email list and you
      would have been banned by any admin. worth his salt.

      If you behave yourself I'll be happy to reinstate you.

      People on this list are actually trying to assist you. I don't agree
      with several people on this list but I do not hurl insults at them.

      Beatty/Byrnes List Administrator

    • pabloburns@comcast.net
      what is perceived as rude and insulting by some people is not perceived as rude and insulting by others. Quite true. Some of the exchanges on the
      Message 2 of 8 , Mar 1, 2009
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        "what is perceived as rude and insulting by some people is not perceived as rude and insulting by others."

        Quite true. Some of the exchanges on the Genealogy-DNA mailing list are extremely rude, yet the combatants seem to take it in stride. Perhaps that is Academia today?
        But the venting that caused the blacklisting in question was beyond the pale (Hah! An old Irish expression) and unacceptable, not just to the person to whom it was directed, but to us all. If there is any reason to include him on the list (I don't see one--unless he accepts the possibility that he is an NPE), I suggest someone ask him if he wishes to apologize.
        Paul
        ----- Original Message -----
        From: dnalister@...
        To: "Beatty Byrnes DNA" <Beatty_Byrnes_DNA@yahoogroups.com>
        Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 11:37:46 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
        Subject: Re: [Beatty_Byrnes_DNA] Why have I been Banned?







        I am on a lot of mailing lists, and I wish I could say that administrators never simply tolerate rude and insulting behavior, but unless there is a lot more going on behind the scenes than comes through on these lists than I have been privy to, I know that it is simply not true. List administrators often have a very demanding job, and for some of the extremely active mailing lists, I have wondered if the administrators sometimes miss posts, or at least miss the nuances that might be more obvious if there weren't so many threads to follow. Sometimes, I think there are problems because what is perceived as rude and insulting by some people is not perceived as rude and insulting by others. So I think you are making your job as a list administrator sound a lot less complicated than it really is, and I am personally glad that those us in this Yahoo group have not had to deal with as much acrimony as I have seen on some of the other genetic genealogy lists.

        I hope that you, Vinny, and all of the rest of us in this group will find this list a comfortable place to share our thoughts as we move forward. There may be times when we are in disagreement, but if we are all vigilant, I think we can recognize when it is time for us to agree to disagree and focus on issues more ripe for discussion.

        Kirsten

        ----- Original Message -----
        From: "John Mclaughlin" <Lochlan@...>
        To: "Beatty Byrnes DNA" <Beatty_Byrnes_DNA@yahoogroups.com>
        Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 12:37:26 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
        Subject: Re: [Beatty_Byrnes_DNA] Why have I been Banned?






        <Why have I been Banned?

        You were banned because your little outburst was rude and insulting.
        That kind of behavior is not tolerated on any public email list and you
        would have been banned by any admin. worth his salt.

        If you behave yourself I'll be happy to reinstate you.

        People on this list are actually trying to assist you. I don't agree
        with several people on this list but I do not hurl insults at them.

        Beatty/Byrnes List Administrator
      • dnalister@comcast.net
        I don t think that it is at all appropriate to require that Vinny accept that he has an NPE to be treated with courtesy and respect on this list. The
        Message 3 of 8 , Mar 1, 2009
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          I don't think that it is at all appropriate to require that Vinny accept that he has an NPE to be treated with courtesy and respect on this list. The responsibility of moderating this list falls primarily to John, and of course we can try to support him. As I think this through, I think that we will have the nicest, most productive group if we are careful to take more responsibility for our own actions than for the actions of others that we consider unacceptable or unreasonable. It is possible that onlist and/or offlist communications with and between aggrieved parties will lead to greater reconciliation and I would welcome any such development. A lot of progress has been made within the project recently, and I hope that I have posting time soon to focus on it.

          Kirsten


          ----- Original Message -----
          From: pabloburns@...
          To: "Beatty Byrnes DNA" <Beatty_Byrnes_DNA@yahoogroups.com>
          Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 12:30:26 PM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
          Subject: Re: [Beatty_Byrnes_DNA] Why have I been Banned?

          "what is perceived as rude and insulting by some people is not perceived as rude and insulting by others."

          Quite true. Some of the exchanges on the Genealogy-DNA mailing list are extremely rude, yet the combatants seem to take it in stride. Perhaps that is Academia today?
          But the venting that caused the blacklisting in question was beyond the pale (Hah! An old Irish expression) and unacceptable, not just to the person to whom it was directed, but to us all. If there is any reason to include him on the list (I don't see one--unless he accepts the possibility that he is an NPE), I suggest someone ask him if he wishes to apologize.
          Paul
          ----- Original Message -----
          From: dnalister@...
          To: "Beatty Byrnes DNA" <Beatty_Byrnes_DNA@yahoogroups.com>
          Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 11:37:46 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
          Subject: Re: [Beatty_Byrnes_DNA] Why have I been Banned?

          I am on a lot of mailing lists, and I wish I could say that administrators never simply tolerate rude and insulting behavior, but unless there is a lot more going on behind the scenes than comes through on these lists than I have been privy to, I know that it is simply not true. List administrators often have a very demanding job, and for some of the extremely active mailing lists, I have wondered if the administrators sometimes miss posts, or at least miss the nuances that might be more obvious if there weren't so many threads to follow. Sometimes, I think there are problems because what is perceived as rude and insulting by some people is not perceived as rude and insulting by others. So I think you are making your job as a list administrator sound a lot less complicated than it really is, and I am personally glad that those us in this Yahoo group have not had to deal with as much acrimony as I have seen on some of the other genetic genealogy lists.

          I hope that you, Vinny, and all of the rest of us in this group will find this list a comfortable place to share our thoughts as we move forward. There may be times when we are in disagreement, but if we are all vigilant, I think we can recognize when it is time for us to agree to disagree and focus on issues more ripe for discussion.

          Kirsten

          ----- Original Message -----
          From: "John Mclaughlin" <Lochlan@...>
          To: "Beatty Byrnes DNA" <Beatty_Byrnes_DNA@yahoogroups.com>
          Sent: Sunday, March 1, 2009 12:37:26 AM GMT -05:00 US/Canada Eastern
          Subject: Re: [Beatty_Byrnes_DNA] Why have I been Banned?

          <Why have I been Banned?

          You were banned because your little outburst was rude and insulting.
          That kind of behavior is not tolerated on any public email list and you
          would have been banned by any admin. worth his salt.

          If you behave yourself I'll be happy to reinstate you.

          People on this list are actually trying to assist you. I don't agree
          with several people on this list but I do not hurl insults at them.

          Beatty/Byrnes List Administrator

        • Lochlan@aol.com
          In a message dated 3/1/2009 11:30:55 A.M. Central Standard Time, pabloburns@comcast.net writes: what is perceived as rude and insulting by some people is not
          Message 4 of 8 , Mar 1, 2009
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            In a message dated 3/1/2009 11:30:55 A.M. Central Standard Time, pabloburns@... writes:
            "what is perceived as rude and insulting by some people is not perceived as rude and insulting by others."
             
            I think telling the list that one is tired of dealing with STUPID people is rude and insulting in anyone's book.  Or should be.  That comment was directed specifically at me but if it had been aimed at anyone else I would have done the same thing as list administrator.  What's done is done and I suggest we let bygones be bygones as long as it doesn't happen again.  People get banned from lists all the time.  Mostly they just get mad and unsubscribe before it happens.
             
              That's the end of this thread as far as I'm concerned. 
             
             
            John
             
             
             
             
             


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          • cienfuegosvin
            Sorry everyone that I offended.. But I am still banned? Also I am not going to say that I am an NPE because we still dont know for sure yet... and as I have
            Message 5 of 8 , Mar 2, 2009
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              Sorry everyone that I offended..
              But I am still banned?
              Also I am not going to say that I am an NPE because we still dont
              know for sure yet... and as I have been saying (still waiting for the
              report, I have paid for a lot of hours so they still have hours to
              use and dont send you the report until they are compleatly done)
              ProGenealogist said they have found something that shows that
              Adelaida was probally married before she moved to Santa fe to a
              Cienfuegos.. Her madien name was Avila.....So I dont understand why I
              would have to say I am and NPE...and I still dont undestand why no
              one will listen to me... Go to www.progenealogist.com you will see
              that they are a pretty good genealogiy firm... Do you not belive
              research that they did or something? I just dont get it.. ANd this is
              why I got so frutrated with people because i keep saying the same
              thing over and over and people keep saying that I am an NPE, but
              Progenealogist doesnt think that I am because of records they have
              found... I think they only have like 5 hours left from this research
              session and then they will send me the report and then I can update
              my tree and other stuff I have..... I have had like 25 hours of
              research done thru them so far and even though it is past the normal
              time frame that they get them done (most people only pay for like 10
              hours) i still do not get to have the final report until they are
              done. So i will not know what the results are until i get them in
              hand... This is why I was sooo frustreated because I felt like I kept
              saying this over and over and no one seemed to care, I felt like
              people on this list was just dismissing what I was saying. Which in
              my opnion is really rude to begin with.. I didnt mean Stupid in an
              acedimic way I just meant stupid in just thinking (i felt) like they
              know more that anyone else and I have always thought people that act
              that way are stupid because they will not open up and see other
              peoples points of views, which I think is one of the stupidest things
              you can do in life. I belive that you grow as a person and learn a
              lot on life by listening to others and seeing from thier view point.
              Anyway I hope that makes sence... And I still am a little frustared
              because people are still saying I am an NPE, which i might be, but we
              dont know that for sure. What if you were trying to tell someone
              something and they were just totally ingorning what you are saying
              and just kept talking above you. Wouldnt most people get really
              frustrated with that (especially about something so close to a
              person, thier ancetors)? I think they would. In fact im sure you can
              think baclk to a time in your life when you were trying to tell
              someone something, and they totally ingnored you and you were
              annoyied with them. Well that is hat was happening to me and I am
              sorry but I think that is really rude as well...
              aqnyway i guess thats it for now.
              --- In Beatty_Byrnes_DNA@yahoogroups.com, Lochlan@... wrote:
              >
              > In a message dated 3/1/2009 11:30:55 A.M. Central Standard Time,
              > pabloburns@... writes:
              >
              > "what is perceived as rude and insulting by some people is not
              perceived as
              > rude and insulting by others."
              >
              > I think telling the list that one is tired of dealing with STUPID
              people is
              > rude and insulting in anyone's book. Or should be. That comment
              was
              > directed specifically at me but if it had been aimed at anyone else
              I would have
              > done the same thing as list administrator. What's done is done and
              I suggest we
              > let bygones be bygones as long as it doesn't happen again. People
              get
              > banned from lists all the time. Mostly they just get mad and
              unsubscribe before
              > it happens.
              >
              > That's the end of this thread as far as I'm concerned.
              >
              >
              > John
              >
              >
              >
              >
              >
              > **************A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in
              just 2 easy
              > steps!
              > (http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1218822736x1201267884/aol?
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              > %3D62%26bcd%3DfebemailfooterNO62)
              >
            • cienfuegosvin
              I try to post a whole sorry and explination but that has been banned now too? ... perceived as ... people is ... was ... I would have ... I suggest we ... get
              Message 6 of 8 , Mar 2, 2009
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                I try to post a whole sorry and explination but that has been banned
                now too?
                --- In Beatty_Byrnes_DNA@yahoogroups.com, Lochlan@... wrote:
                >
                > In a message dated 3/1/2009 11:30:55 A.M. Central Standard Time,
                > pabloburns@... writes:
                >
                > "what is perceived as rude and insulting by some people is not
                perceived as
                > rude and insulting by others."
                >
                > I think telling the list that one is tired of dealing with STUPID
                people is
                > rude and insulting in anyone's book. Or should be. That comment
                was
                > directed specifically at me but if it had been aimed at anyone else
                I would have
                > done the same thing as list administrator. What's done is done and
                I suggest we
                > let bygones be bygones as long as it doesn't happen again. People
                get
                > banned from lists all the time. Mostly they just get mad and
                unsubscribe before
                > it happens.
                >
                > That's the end of this thread as far as I'm concerned.
                >
                >
                > John
                >
                >
                >
                >
                >
                > **************A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in
                just 2 easy
                > steps!
                > (http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100126575x1218822736x1201267884/aol?
                redir=http:%2F%2Fwww.freecreditreport.com%2Fpm%2Fdefault.aspx%3Fsc%
                3D668072%26hmpgID
                > %3D62%26bcd%3DfebemailfooterNO62)
                >
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