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Edit/Approval - Bis Agnes Fly Creek UL1 - Marina Batzke

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  • richardglyon@att.net
    Marina, Excellent OR, well worth a brownie point. I found your description of pitching the tent as detailed yet as understandable as any I’ve seen on the
    Message 1 of 4 , Mar 4 10:15 AM
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      Marina,

       

      Excellent OR, well worth a brownie point. I found your description of pitching the tent as detailed yet as understandable as any I’ve seen on the site, and your photos really aid a reader. Glad you're on our roster; keep the Reviews coming.

       

      A few edits, in the standard EDIT/Edit/Comment format. After revising you may upload to http://tinyurl.com/lgwzsgp

       

      Cheers, Richard

       _________________________________________

      ###with some newly acquired light weight gear ###
      Edit: lightweight [one word]

       

      ###Year of Manufacture:   2013###
      Edit: Consider “Year of Purchase”

      EDIT: I think you may have an extra space after the colon.

       

      ###Listed Fast Fly Weight includes the poles, tent fly and accessory Fast Fly footprint:  1 lb 6 oz (624 g)

      Measured Fast Fly Weight: 1 lb 10 oz (737 g) with the Fairview footprint###

      Edit: Consider some kind of link to the text portion where you explain the two ground sheets. Such as “See below”

       

      ###Measured Floor Dimensions: 86 in (218 cm) length x 42 in (107 cm) entrance area width receeding down to 30 in (76 cm) foot area###
      EDIT: receding [spelling]

       

      ### hubpole Nylon bag = 0.3 oz (9 g)###
      Edit: No need to capitalize “Nylon” Here and one or two other places.

       

      ###Elevation: 2600 ft (790 m)###
      Edit: All your Imperial elevations are estimated, so consider rounding off the metric ones too. Here, 800 m.

       

      ###I chose the Big Agnes Fly Creek UL1 after extensively researching ultra-light 1-person tents and their pricing on the market.###
      Edit: Here you hyphenate “ultra-light;” above it’s one word. I recommend consistency.

       

      ###so I prefered the Fly Creek UL1 with mesh ###
      EDIT: preferred [spelling]

       

      ###I then insert the tent body's ceiling H clip into the hubpole system S-stopper.###
      Edit: Another consistency suggestion: H-clip (as you have S-stopper in the same sentence)

       

      ###Majority of my trips so far, I have not used all stakes for tent body and rainfly.  ###

      EDIT: On a majority of my trips

       

      ###The Fly Creek UL1 did not come with a footprint, yet after some research I noticed that the footprint for the discontinued Big Agnes Fairview 1 tent has virtually the same dimensions as for the Fly Creek UL1. So I got a well fitting footprint for less than $10 on sale, versus $50 for the original UL1 foot print.

      EDIT: Delete the reference to what you paid. BGT doesn’t allow inclusion of actual retail prices, actual or otherwise. Maybe “So I got a well fitting footprint at a big discount.”

       

      ###While Big Agnes lists the fast fly weight (footprint, rainfly, hubpole) for lowest trail weight, I always take the tent body along for protection against bugs, rodents and adverse weather.###

      Comment: Smart move. My biggest fear is reptiles.

       

      ###To be ultra-light weight, the tent scimps on interior storage conveniences ###
      EDIT: Either “skimps” or “scrimps.” [Spelling]

       

      ###And I have enough available floor space inside my tent to also take my hiking boots inside overnight (placing them on a plastic bag) to avoid any animals from crawling into my boots.###
      Comment: Another smart move. The little critters will nibble your boots too.

       

      ###It seems that my 2013 edition tent is therefore on sale on a few websites for much less than $300.###
      EDIT: As above, delete the retail price. Maybe “I have seen my 2013 edition tent on sale on a few websites for much less than the MSRP.

    • Marina Batzke
      Richard, sorry for the mix-up.  I must have mixed up my ORs and just asked you my Big Agnes Fly Creek questions under the Sno-Seal OR. Marina On Tuesday,
      Message 2 of 4 , Mar 4 9:13 PM
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        Richard, sorry for the mix-up.  I must have mixed up my ORs and just asked you my Big Agnes Fly Creek questions under the Sno-Seal OR.
        Marina


        On Tuesday, March 4, 2014 11:37 AM, "montana.angler@..." <montana.angler@...> wrote:
         
        Marina,
         
        Excellent OR, well worth a brownie point. I found your description of pitching the tent as detailed yet as understandable as any I’ve seen on the site, and your photos really aid a reader. Glad you're on our roster; keep the Reviews coming.
         
        A few edits, in the standard EDIT/Edit/Comment format. After revising you may upload to http://tinyurl.com/lgwzsgp
         
        Cheers, Richard
         _________________________________________
        ###with some newly acquired light weight gear ###
        Edit: lightweight [one word]
         
        ###Year of Manufacture:   2013###
        Edit: Consider “Year of Purchase”
        EDIT: I think you may have an extra space after the colon.
         
        ###Listed Fast Fly Weight includes the poles, tent fly and accessory Fast Fly footprint:  1 lb 6 oz (624 g)
        Measured Fast Fly Weight: 1 lb 10 oz (737 g) with the Fairview footprint###
        Edit: Consider some kind of link to the text portion where you explain the two ground sheets. Such as “See below”
         
        ###Measured Floor Dimensions: 86 in (218 cm) length x 42 in (107 cm) entrance area width receeding down to 30 in (76 cm) foot area###
        EDIT: receding [spelling]
         
        ### hubpole Nylon bag = 0.3 oz (9 g)###
        Edit: No need to capitalize “Nylon” Here and one or two other places.
         
        ###Elevation: 2600 ft (790 m)###
        Edit: All your Imperial elevations are estimated, so consider rounding off the metric ones too. Here, 800 m.
         
        ###I chose the Big Agnes Fly Creek UL1 after extensively researching ultra-light 1-person tents and their pricing on the market.###
        Edit: Here you hyphenate “ultra-light;” above it’s one word. I recommend consistency.
         
        ###so I prefered the Fly Creek UL1 with mesh ###
        EDIT: preferred [spelling]
         
        ###I then insert the tent body's ceiling H clip into the hubpole system S-stopper.###
        Edit: Another consistency suggestion: H-clip (as you have S-stopper in the same sentence)
         
        ###Majority of my trips so far, I have not used all stakes for tent body and rainfly.  ###
        EDIT: On a majority of my trips
         
        ###The Fly Creek UL1 did not come with a footprint, yet after some research I noticed that the footprint for the discontinued Big Agnes Fairview 1 tent has virtually the same dimensions as for the Fly Creek UL1. So I got a well fitting footprint for less than $10 on sale, versus $50 for the original UL1 foot print.
        EDIT: Delete the reference to what you paid. BGT doesn’t allow inclusion of actual retail prices, actual or otherwise. Maybe “So I got a well fitting footprint at a big discount.”
         
        ###While Big Agnes lists the fast fly weight (footprint, rainfly, hubpole) for lowest trail weight, I always take the tent body along for protection against bugs, rodents and adverse weather.###
        Comment: Smart move. My biggest fear is reptiles.
         
        ###To be ultra-light weight, the tent scimps on interior storage conveniences ###
        EDIT: Either “skimps” or “scrimps.” [Spelling]
         
        ###And I have enough available floor space inside my tent to also take my hiking boots inside overnight (placing them on a plastic bag) to avoid any animals from crawling into my boots.###
        Comment: Another smart move. The little critters will nibble your boots too.
         
        ###It seems that my 2013 edition tent is therefore on sale on a few websites for much less than $300.###
        EDIT: As above, delete the retail price. Maybe “I have seen my 2013 edition tent on sale on a few websites for much less than the MSRP.


      • richardglyon@att.net
        Marina, Not a problem. The answers to your questions: 1) Is it ok to list the price of the gear loft? ... designed to connect to a triangular-shaped mesh
        Message 3 of 4 , Mar 5 6:30 AM
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          Marina, Not a problem. The answers to your questions:

          1) Is it ok to list the price of the gear loft?   ... designed to connect to a triangular-shaped mesh Gear Loft, available for an additional $22.  

          This is OK so long as it's BA's MSRP. You might say "available (MSRP:$22)" If it's a retail price it should be deleted.
          ...
          2) I am writing ultralight, lightweight without now throughout the OR.  Is the following a correct separation of words then? 
          To be ultralight weight, the tent skimps …

          Up to you - I'd make "ultralightweight" one word.
        • Marina Batzke
          Richard, Thanks for your 2nd feedback.  I addressed your comments, uploaded and deleted the test folder. Marina On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 6:30 AM,
          Message 4 of 4 , Mar 6 10:23 PM
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            Richard,
            Thanks for your 2nd feedback.  I addressed your comments, uploaded and deleted the test folder.
            Marina


            On Wednesday, March 5, 2014 6:30 AM, "montana.angler@..." <montana.angler@...> wrote:
             
            Marina, Not a problem. The answers to your questions:

            1) Is it ok to list the price of the gear loft?   ... designed to connect to a triangular-shaped mesh Gear Loft, available for an additional $22.  

            This is OK so long as it's BA's MSRP. You might say "available (MSRP:$22)" If it's a retail price it should be deleted.
            ...
            2) I am writing ultralight, lightweight without now throughout the OR.  Is the following a correct separation of words then? 
            To be ultralight weight, the tent skimps …

            Up to you - I'd make "ultralightweight" one word.


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