Edit - CamelBak Cloudwalker - Wyatt Freeman
- Wyatt, Welcome to BackpackGearTest.org, and thanks for your Owner Review. I'll be your editor, and I look forward to working with you to get it ready for posting.
Before getting to specific edits, I'm going to point out a few BackpackGearTest.org (BGT) conventions that you need to review. In fact I suggest that you re-read the Survival Guide's chapter on Owner Reviews, where some of my comments below are discussed in greater depth.
1. Title should be three lines: first line (usually in larger type and bold) is the product name, second line is "Owner Review by [name of author]," and third line the date written out rather than merely using numerals, as in many countries the day, not the month, comes first. So yours would read:
Owner Review by Wyatt Freeman
May 2, 2013
2. All measurements require conversion, so that both Imperial and metric are listed. All temperatures must be converted, so that both Fahrenheit and Celsius are listed. In addition, BGT has a standard set of abbreviations, which you'll find at the bottom of the conversion table page on BGT's website. So your height would be 6 ft 2 in (1.88 m). All measurements are singular (lb not lbs, for example).
3. We don't allow use of the USPS abbreviations for states, as our international readers are likely unfamiliar with them. "North Carolina" not "NC"
4. BGT requires an estimate of total field use. This can be in days (e g, "at least thirty days") or a time period ("during the last two years").
5. Check the Survival Guide's suggested format: biography; product information and description; field use; observations; likes and dislikes. You've included most of our required information, but it's difficult to follow.
Please revise your Review, taking account of the foregoing, and repost it to this list, with "Repost," the product name, and your name in the subject line.
If you'd like help, you may request a mentor. Just send an email to mentor@... with that request. Under our mentor program an experienced tester will work with you to get you familiar with the Owner Review process and BGT's rules. There's no stigma attached; many of our veteran testers are former mentees.
Cheers, Richard Lyon