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EDIT: OR REI Pinnacle 35 daypack - Bob Dorenfeld

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  • Ray
    Hello Bob Welcome to BackpackGearTest and thank you for this, your first Owner Review. You did a very good job on it (even though it looks like you have a lot
    Message 1 of 3 , May 8, 2013
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      Hello Bob

      Welcome to BackpackGearTest and thank you for this, your first Owner Review. You did a very good job on it (even though it looks like you have a lot of edits;-) I will be your editor for this review. Your initial edits will follow. They will take the following format;

      EDIT: must be changed
      Edit: should be changed but will be left to your discretion
      Comment: just that or something to think about

      When you have made the changes please repost here with REPOST added to the subject line. Include your name also please.

      Some very helpful information may be found here;

      Please notice the form that the review should take in the "Examples", you may also wish to browse the reviews of other experienced members for examples of the proper form. If you want a better set of lessons email me. (Link is to the right under my name.)

      A helpful tool is the Mentoring Program that teams new reviewers with experienced veterans to help get them through their first review(s). If you'd like more assistance or guidance with the process you can request a mentor by sending an email to the mentor coordinator, Jenn, at mentor@...


      ***LOCATION: Salida, CO

      EDIT: please spell out the state for the benefit of our international readers, add "USA" also

      ***I'm an active hiker, snowshoer, skier (nordic & alpine), backpacker.

      EDIT: Nordic (needs a cap, look for all instances of this please.)

      I live at 7000' in the Southern Colorado Rockies where most of my activities are between 7000 and 14000 feet. I'll do day hikes from 4 to 12 miles, which can range up
      to 5000 feet of elevation change. I carry 15-20 lbs on day hikes, about 45 lbs
      on backpacks.

      EDIT: you need Metric (or Imperial) conversions for all measurements, weights, distances, etc. Please use lb instead of lbs for pounds.

      ***Manufacturer: REI, Inc.

      EDIT: please spell out their full name at least the first time, putting (REI) after it. Then you can use REI for the rest of the review.

      ***Option: Available in M or L torso size

      EDIT: what size are you reviewing?

      *** "http://www.rei.com/product/816105/rei-pinnacle-35-pack"

      EDIT: no links are allowed except for the manufacturer's top-level URL.

      *** and they stayed in place when tighly strapped.

      EDIT: tightly

      ***so my day pack needs to stay tight to my back and waist, and not not
      tear or rip easily.

      EDIT: delete one "not"

      - I can quickly strap my hiking pole at one of 2 or 3 different places,
      depending on what else is on the pack

      Comment: this is a place that you could add a lot for the reader by explaining just how/where you have been able to carry the poles.

      ***- extra gear can be attached on top with with the straps provided

      EDIT: delete one "with"

      ***- inner pocket that easily fits my 3 L (3.17 qt) water bladder, plus covered
      tube exit (left or right)

      Comment: water containers are the only item that they don't require a conversion number. It is fine to have it but if you don't want one it is OK too.

      ***After approximately 350 trail miles (over approximately 70 hiking days) and
      carrying loads of 15-20 pounds,

      EDIT: need the conversions here though.

      *** For anyone wanting to reduce weight,

      EDIT: rather than project your thoughts to the reader (or everybody else but you) keep this in the first person by saying: "if I want to remove weight, both the hip belt.."

      *** (via velcro) and the internal backplate are removable

      EDIT: Velcro is a trademarked name and is thus capitalized. But unless you know that it is Velcro you should just call it hook-and-loop

      *** You will feel more moisture than with a mesh-suspension style

      EDIT: We keep everything in the first person, no "you"s, just "me" and "I". Here is my canned explanation.


      "When you tighten the laces on the boots, you pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then you tie it with a double knot and you are ready to go down the trail."

      This is a very common way to write, but in doing so we just said what "other people" would do, not ourselves. This is projecting our thoughts onto the reader. We do not know how other people tie their shoes. We keep away from "you" and "your" in our writing.

      We are writing a review of "our" gear based on "our" experiences. So we need to keep it in the first person. Here is how it should look;

      "When I tighten the laces on the boots, I pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then I tie it with a double knot and I'm ready to go down the trail."

      *** Some of the buckles are the "cam" type that will hold your strap tight

      EDIT: the "your" thing, see above ;-)

      *** I only occasionally need, which keeps it out of the way of binoculars, gaitors,

      EDIT: gaiters
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