Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

Edit/Approval - Brooks-Range Propel - Ray Estrella

Expand Messages
  • richardglyon@att.net
    Ray, Good to see another OR of a product from this fine company. A few edits, in the standard format; note the second one especially. After revising you may
    Message 1 of 2 , Feb 21, 2013
    • 0 Attachment
      Ray,

      Good to see another OR of a product from this fine company. A few edits, in the standard format; note the second one especially. After revising you may upload to http://tinyurl.com/bz5w3ou

      Cheers, Richard

      ###Manufacturer: Brooks-Range Mountaineering Equipment Co ###
      EDIT: Add a period after "Co"

      ### The Brooks-Range Propel tent is a great addition to a summit pack for a
      just-in-case emergency shelter, or as the main shelter for a winter UL kit. ###
      EDIT: I read this several times and concluded that as written it's projection – the sort of generalization that BGT reviews should avoid. Could be fixed by changing "a" to "my" before "summit pack" and "winter kit," or in several other ways. I leave the phrasing to you.

      ### There is an 8.5 mm DAC ridge pole that comes in at 5.6 oz (160 g) and two 8.5 mm side poles that weigh 1.9 oz (55 g). ###
      EDIT: Unless tent poles are always sized in millimeters (as water bottles are always sized in liters) you need to add the metric equivalent for 8.5 mm, in two places.

      ### The yellow body and green floor of the Propel is made of 15 denier silicone###
      EDIT: are made [plural subject]

      ### The straight side poles are place in grommets at ground level ###
      EDIT: placed

      ### If the vestibule is not need it can be flipped over the top of the tent ###
      EDIT: needed

      ### For folks that are already using them, ###
      Edit: folks who are already using them [people are "who," things "that" or "which"]

      ### Temperatures encountered ran from lows of 15 F down to -12 F (-9 to -24 C) and has seen winds in excess of 40 mph (64 km/h). ###
      EDIT: and the tent has seen winds

      ### Folks that follow my reviews and test reports, ###
      Edit: Folks who

      ###It blew all night and hit a low of 15 F (9 C). ###
      EDIT: (-9 C)
    • Ray
      Thank you for the edits Richard, (for the other OR too). All made except the pole diameter. Poles, like hydrostatic head numbers are only given in metric. It
      Message 2 of 2 , Feb 22, 2013
      • 0 Attachment
        Thank you for the edits Richard, (for the other OR too).

        All made except the pole diameter. Poles, like hydrostatic head numbers are only given in metric.

        It is supposed to snow today so I plan to get a day hike in. See you down the trail.

        Ray
      Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.