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Edit - OR Kelty Grand Mesa 2 Tent - Brian Schemenaur

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  • richardglyon@att.net
    Brian, Welcome to BackpackGearTest.org! I ll be your editor for this Owner Review. This is an excellent first draft of a first Owner Review, good enough that I
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 14, 2013
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      Brian,

      Welcome to BackpackGearTest.org! I'll be your editor for this Owner Review.

      This is an excellent first draft of a first Owner Review, good enough that I will forego my usual caution against choosing a tent for one's first OR.

      My edits below are in standard BGT format:

      EDIT (all caps) – required change
      Edit (initial cap) – suggested change or request for clarification
      Comment – just that, no change required

      After revising you need to do two things. Post the html version of the Report, with photographs, in the Tests/Owner Reviews folder on BackpackGearTest.org, and post the plain text version here, with "Repost," the product name, and your name in the subject line, and with a tinyurl link to the html version in the body of your message.

      This may seem like a long list od edits, but most are simply requiring conformity with BGT's protocols and reporting rules. Common first-time mistakes, and easy to fix. Stick with it and you'll have your OR approved in no time. I look forward to your repost.

      Cheers, Richard
      **********************************************************************



      KELTY GRAND MESA 2 TENT
      ###BY BRIAN WAYNE SCHEMENAUR###
      EDIT: OWNER REVIEW BY BRIAN WAYNE SCHEMENAUR [We have Test Reports as well as Owner Reviews.]


      TEST INFORMATION:
      Name: Brian Schemenaur
      ###Email: sixpackbee@...###
      Edit: You may wish to write this out ("at" instead of @, etc) to discourage spammers.

      ###Birthday: 02/08/1974 ###
      Edit: This isn't necessary. If you want to include it, write it out. In most countries your abbreviation would mean August 2.

      ###Location: Indianapolis, Indiana###
      EDIT: Need to add the country - USA. We have many non-US testers and readers.

      ###Height: 6 ft 1 in, 1.85 M
      Weight: 225 lbs, 102.0 Kg###
      EDIT: When you revise, check all your weight and measurement abbreviations. Some BGT conventions: always singular (225 lb, not lbs), measurements always lower case (kg, not Kg), always a space between the measurement and abbreviation (as you have done).

      ###I have returned to this wonderful hobby since my son joined the boy scouts###
      EDIT: Boy Scouts [initial caps]

      ###MSRP: US$ 139.95###
      EDIT: US$ 149.95 [Probably increased since you bought yours.]

      ###The tent is designed for 3 season use by backpacking campers.###
      Edit: 3-season [with a hyphen]

      ###BSA Scoutmaster's farm (Indianapolis, Indiana)
      Lat: 39.6 deg N, Lon: 85.9 deg W, Elev: 781 ft###
      EDIT: Boy Scouts of America [The abbreviation may knot be known to non-US readers.
      EDIT: Delete the coordinates. Too technical for BGT. Here and elsewhere.
      EDIT: Elevation [Beware of abbreviations. We have readers who might not understand. Here and elsewhere.]
      EDIT: Add the metric equivalent for the elevation.

      ###9/14 - (Temp) High 70 deg F, Low 56 deg F (Wind) 14-23mph (Precip) 0.05"
      9/15 - (Temp) High 74 deg F, Low 50 deg F (Wind) 2-8mph (Precip) 0.0"
      9/16 - (Temp) High 78 deg F, Low 54 deg F (Wind) 3-13mph (Precip) 0.0"###
      EDIT: Two more BGT conventions – don't use "deg" or "degrees" in reporting temperatures, and Celsius conversion required – 70 F/21 C, e.g. Here and elsewhere.
      EDIT: (Precipitation). [As above. Rather than list precipitation you'd inform your readers better by stating when it rained, particularly if you were in the tent at the time.]

      ###The single vestibule will be able to accommodate a large amount of gear, however, one will have to step over it or move it out of the way when entering or exiting. ###
      Edit: How much gear?
      EDIT: BGT doesn't allow "projection," speculating upon what might happen. If you stored gear in the vestibule, change to "I was able." If not you should delete this sentence.

      ###The quality of the materials, design, and assembly of this tent rivals many of
      the other tent manufacturers. ###
      EDIT: are similar to many of the other [First, you need a plural verb. Second, "rivals" implies a quality comparison, which BGT doesn't allow.]

      ###The canopy and floor are made of 68D polyester, and the fly is made of 75D polyester, which seems to be fairly standard in the tent industry. ###
      EDIT: Unless you are qualified to comment on the entire tent industry, this needs to be revised to something like "to be similar to other tent manufacturers I know about." BGT only allows first hand reporting – your own experience and knowledge.

      ###I have found the advertised length and weight measurements of the tent by the
      manufacturer to be fairly accurate. The largest discrepancy in the length
      measurement differed by only 3 inches (7.6 cm) which applied to the length of
      the front entrance. The other length measurements differed by only 1 inch (2.5
      cm). Such differences in measurement is fairly negligible. I obtained my
      measurements from the tent interior. If I had obtained these measurements from
      the tent exterior, I likely would have obtained the factory results. ###
      Edit: I'd delete this as it's redundant of the details you provide above.

      ###The large vent towards the rear roof-line, ###
      Edit: roofline [one word]

      ###If inclement weather is present, you place the fly on top of the tent ,###
      EDIT: I place [Avoid second person if at all possible. Part of our rule against projection. Limit your Reviews to your own experience.]

      ###Each camp site selected was set upon wide open areas###
      Edit: campsite [one word]

      ###The side mesh pockets were perfect for storing small light-weight items, ###
      Edit: lightweight [one word, no hyphen]

      ###They have proven to be a tripping hazard at night when I've
      camped in groups. I will likely replace these cords with ones that are brightly
      colored or reflective to reduce this safety issue. This is a personal
      preference, however, and would not affect one who solo camps.###
      EDIT: In the second sentence change the last clause to "and has not affected me when solo camping." [More projection; limit your observations to your own experiences.]
      Comment: You might add reflective tape to the guys rather than replacing them.

      ### Anyone that has experienced the "joy" of pitching a tent in a downpour###
      Edit: Anyone who has [people are "who;" things are "that" or "which"]

      ###- This is perfect-sized tent for one person, but will adequately accommodate two people###
      EDIT: What's the basis for this statement? Earlier you state you've only used the tent solo. ("On each of the three documented outings in the field use, I pitched and slept in the tent by myself.") If you haven't shared the tent with another person, either qualify the sentence ("Based upon my experience, I believe . . . "), otherwise drop it.

      ###- The gear pockets on both sides of the front entrace are handy to stow###
      EDIT: entrance [spelling]

      ###- The tent packs down small for a backpack and is very light for a two person
      tent###
      Edit: two-person [with a hyphen]
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