Edit/Approval - Sunday Afternoons Traveler Hat - Ray Estrella
I like it, especially the no-see-um resistant mesh. A few edits for you, in the usual format. After revising, upload to http://tinyurl.com/b8ggknl
Edit: Consider adding your hat size.
<<The Sunday Afternoons Traveler Hat provides almost as much protection as the
company's Adventure hat in an easy to store folding form factor. >>
Edit: easy-to-store [two hyphens]
<<The nylon has also been treated with what they call their ShieldTek technology.>>
Edit: As you're leading off a paragraph here, substituting the antecedent ("Sunday Afternoons" or "the manufacturer") for the pronoun adds clarity. If you make this change you'll need to change "call" to "calls" also.
<<The next two panels are cut on an arc and go down to either side of the hat.>>
Edit: on either side
<< The mesh has very small holes, much smaller than the ones on the Adventure hat that I also own. (See review.)>>
EDIT: (See Test Report.)
<<At the very back of the hat there is a "sizing band", a flat sliding dis-connect buckle on a thin nylon strap to allow the hat to be cinched tight to the head.>>
Edit: disconnect [no hyphen]
<< The brim can fold inward due to the manufactuered hindge point running down the center of the brim. >>
EDIT: hinge [spelling]
Comment: I do that with my Adventure Hat, which is why it's peaked like a wimple. Very good idea by Sunday Afternoons to design for packing.
<<They are; hand wash cold, line dry, no dryer, no iron.>>
EDIT: make the semicolon a colon
<<I volunteered to help the United States Forest Service (USFS) build a bridge>>
Edit: The parenthetical is unnecessary as you never use the abbreviation later in the Report.
<<Even in heavy rain the fabric never really got saturated, but it would come through the mesh panels. >>
Edit: but the rain would come through [otherwise one might think that somehow the fabric came through]
<<Another thing that was also nice about the ShieldTek, and the claim of it drying so much faster than untreated nylon, was born out on my bridge building trip>>
EDIT: borne out [spelling]
- Hi Richard,
Thanks for the edits. I think I got them all. This one was kind of like Where's Waldo, except maybe Where's the Sentence... ;-)
See you on the next one,