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Edit/Approval - Sunday Afternoons Traveler Hat - Ray Estrella

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  • richardglyon@att.net
    Ray, I like it, especially the no-see-um resistant mesh. A few edits for you, in the usual format. After revising, upload to http://tinyurl.com/b8ggknl Cheers,
    Message 1 of 2 , Jan 7, 2013
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      Ray,

      I like it, especially the no-see-um resistant mesh. A few edits for you, in the usual format. After revising, upload to http://tinyurl.com/b8ggknl

      Cheers, Richard

      <<TESTER INFORMATION>>
      Edit: Consider adding your hat size.

      <<The Sunday Afternoons Traveler Hat provides almost as much protection as the
      company's Adventure hat in an easy to store folding form factor. >>
      Edit: easy-to-store [two hyphens]

      <<The nylon has also been treated with what they call their ShieldTek technology.>>
      Edit: As you're leading off a paragraph here, substituting the antecedent ("Sunday Afternoons" or "the manufacturer") for the pronoun adds clarity. If you make this change you'll need to change "call" to "calls" also.

      <<The next two panels are cut on an arc and go down to either side of the hat.>>
      Edit: on either side

      << The mesh has very small holes, much smaller than the ones on the Adventure hat that I also own. (See review.)>>
      EDIT: (See Test Report.)

      <<At the very back of the hat there is a "sizing band", a flat sliding dis-connect buckle on a thin nylon strap to allow the hat to be cinched tight to the head.>>
      Edit: disconnect [no hyphen]

      << The brim can fold inward due to the manufactuered hindge point running down the center of the brim. >>
      EDIT: hinge [spelling]
      Comment: I do that with my Adventure Hat, which is why it's peaked like a wimple. Very good idea by Sunday Afternoons to design for packing.

      <<They are; hand wash cold, line dry, no dryer, no iron.>>
      EDIT: make the semicolon a colon

      <<I volunteered to help the United States Forest Service (USFS) build a bridge>>
      Edit: The parenthetical is unnecessary as you never use the abbreviation later in the Report.

      <<Even in heavy rain the fabric never really got saturated, but it would come through the mesh panels. >>
      Edit: but the rain would come through [otherwise one might think that somehow the fabric came through]

      <<Another thing that was also nice about the ShieldTek, and the claim of it drying so much faster than untreated nylon, was born out on my bridge building trip>>
      EDIT: borne out [spelling]
    • Ray
      Hi Richard, Thanks for the edits. I think I got them all. This one was kind of like Where s Waldo, except maybe Where s the Sentence... ;-) See you on the next
      Message 2 of 2 , Jan 7, 2013
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        Hi Richard,

        Thanks for the edits. I think I got them all. This one was kind of like Where's Waldo, except maybe Where's the Sentence... ;-)

        See you on the next one,

        Ray
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