Re: OWNER REVIEW - Outdoor Products Cyclone Hydration Reservoir
- Hello Jim,
Welcome to BackpackGearTest and thank you for your Owner Review, your initial edits will follow. They will take the following format;
EDIT: must be changed
Edit: should be changed but will be left to your discretion
Comment: just that or something to think about
When you have made the changes please repost here with REPOST added to the subject line. Include your name also please.
Some very helpful information may be found here;
Please notice the form that the review should take in the "Examples", you may also wish to browse the reviews of other experienced members for examples of the proper form.
A helpful tool is the Mentoring Program that teams new reviewers with experienced veterans to help get them through their first review(s). If you'd like more assistance or guidance with the process you can request a mentor by sending an email to the mentor coordinator, Jenn, at mentor@...
***Weight: Â 160 lbs. (73 kg)
EDIT: no period after any of the weights and measurements abbreviations please. And we prefer lb to lbs
EDIT: we ask that the dates be spelled out as the abbreviated form is read differently in some parts of the world.
***Measured Weight: 6 oz. (170 g)
EDIT: 6 oz
***Measured Size (L x W x H) : Empty Bladder is 15.5 x 7.25 x 1.0 inches;
Hose with quick connect and bite valve is 42.75 inches long
EDIT: you need Metric (or Imperial) conversions for all measurements, weights, distances, etc.
EDIT: hose does not need a cap as it does not start the sentence and is not a proper name.
***Sizes Available: 2.0 Liter
Comment: now here is the only place BGT does not require a conversion. For water containers in even full liter amounts the x L is fine by itself. But do please either use L or if you want to spell it out do so without a capital (liter).
*** The outside of the bladder has useful information
printed in blue that includes gradated measuring lines for water volume (0.5L,
1.0L, 1.5L, 2.0L & 16oz, 32 oz, 48 oz, 64 oz),
EDIT: needs spaces like this: 0.5 L,
1.0 L, 1.5 L, 2.0 L & 16 oz, 32 oz, 48 oz, 64 oz
*** and recommended temperature ranges (+120F, +50C, -5F, -20C).
EDIT: same thing here, needs a space before the C and F
***MANUFACTURER PRODUCT DESCRIPTION
***RETAIL PRODUCT DESCRIPTION
EDIT: We want the product description to be in your own words. It is OK to use snips from the manufacturer's web site or packaging, but we don't want a full-blown copy of it. And nothing is allowed to be cut-&-pasted from a retailer's site at all. If you could incorporate this info in the description you just gave it would be better. Take a look at the reviews from veteran writers for examples of what I am talking about.
*** Last Drop integral molded bottom attachment has been added to ensure that you can get out all the precious fluid you put in
***Built-in basin at the bottom collects the remaining drops of your beverage
EDIT: (I know this is copied and should change but you still need to learn this.) We keep everything in the first person, no "you"s, just "me" and "I". Here is my canned explanation.
"When you tighten the laces on the boots, you pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then you tie it with a double knot and you are ready to go down the trail."
This is a very common way to write, but in doing so we just said what "other people" would do, not ourselves. This is projecting our thoughts onto the reader. We do not know how other people tie their shoes. We keep away from "you" and "your" in our writing.
We are writing a review of "our" gear based on "our" experiences. So we need to keep it in the first person. Here is how it should look;
"When I tighten the laces on the boots, I pull the shoestrings in an out and upward motion. Then I tie it with a double knot and I'm ready to go down the trail."
EDIT: please rename this section Field Review or Field Use so as not to have it be confused with any of the actual gear tests we do.
*** However, we have not tested this product in temperatures less than +40F.
EDIT: same thing plus no need for the + before 40 F. (Only need a sign if below 0) Remember you need the metric conversion for the temps too.
*** For a bite valve replacement, contact The Outdoor Recreation Group, 1919 Vineburn Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90032.
EDIT: please remove this. You are just reviewing the product, and as this review may be read after a possible move by them it could just end up wrong anyway.
*** This is convenient if you want to carry a second bladder without having to carry a second hose and bite valve.
EDIT: the "you" thing again. Switch everything to be in the first person
*** While it may not be an ultralight product, itâs a strong
system with convenient features that other better known brands do not include.
EDIT: we don't do comparisons, especially if we have not used the "other brands", as you say. If you want to say (honestly) "I have found that it is a strong
system with convenient features that were lacking on my other hydration bladders" that would be OK. But if you don't have experience with the others better to just leave this out.
***THINGS I DON'T LIKE
***Heavier than other hydration systems on the market
EDIT: see above