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Edit - Arc'teryx Men's Atom LT - Paul Rickard

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  • richardglyon@att.net
    Hello Paul, and welcome to BackpackGearTest.org. Always great to add another non-American! I have been assigned to edit your Owner Review. Before I can do so,
    Message 1 of 1 , Dec 27, 2012
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      Hello Paul, and welcome to BackpackGearTest.org. Always great to add another non-American! I have been assigned to edit your Owner Review. Before I can do so, though, you will need to make some substantial revisions to conform to our rules and conventions. Several of these are noted below in the standard BGT format: EDIT (all caps) is a required change, Edit (initial cap) is a suggested change or request for clarification, and Comment is a comment, with no change required.

      I suggest that you re-read the Survival Guide (available under the "How to Become a Tester" tab at BackpackGearTest.org), and revise your report before reposting here. When you repost, put REPOST, followed by the product name and your name in the subject line, so that our coordinator will flag it.

      I also recommend that you request a mentor, which you can do by sending an email to mentor@... Under our mentor program an experienced tester will work with you to get you familiar with the Owner Review process and BGT's rules. There's no stigma attached; many of our veteran testers are former mentees.

      Lest the length and tone of this post scare you off, please know that I intend it as guidance not criticism. You have included most of the information needed for an Owner Review and need some assistance primarily with organization and expression. Please let me (or your mentor, should you request one) know if you have any questions

      Cheers, Richard Lyon, BGT Editor

      <<Started walking outdoors properly around 4 years ago, have since completely my
      full Gold DofE, NNAS Awards and now a DofE Supervisor and assessor. Work in the
      outdoors doing Canoeing, Kayaking, Rock climbing (indoor and outdoor), Hill and
      Mountain Walking and some bushcraft. Run my own outdoor club which provides
      outdoor education services to schools/organisations/Uniformed Youth Groups.

      Love putting gear through tough conditions!>>
      EDIT: Several things here. First, any abbreviations need to be written out. While "Gold DofE NNAS Award" or "DofE Supervisor" may be familiar to walkers in the UK, I have no idea what they mean and neither, I suspect, will many of your readers. This is a common rookie EDIT; for example many American writers will use AT or CDT (for Appalachian Trail and Continental Divide Trail, two classic US hiking venues) or the Postal Service abbreviations for states of the United States with no notion that many non-Americans will not be familiar with the initials. Given our 100-word limit on biographical information, perhaps the details of these certifications (if that's what they are) belong under your Field Conditions section.
      Second, try to use complete sentences rather than fragments that omit the subject (in this instance, "I"). Published reviews require somewhat more formality than everyday speech.
      Third, is there a reason that you capitalize several of the nouns (Canoeing, Kayaking, Uniformed Youth Groups)? Using initial caps in prose suggests a reference to something else (like my use of Postal Service above).
      Each of these EDITs, by the way, is just the sort of thing a mentor will guide you through.

      EDIT: Please add the size you own and the range of sizes offered by the manufacturer.
      Edit: Though not required, I suggest adding the color of the jacket you own and the other colors offered by Arc'teryx.

      <<Listed Weight: 326g (11.5oz)>>
      EDIT: Another BGT convention. Measurements, elevation, and similar data are all done with a space between the number and the abbreviation: e g, 326 g (11.5 oz). Check your entire Review for these when revising.

      <<FIELD USE

      Having owned the jacket for 2 months now I have had a chance to get out in some
      of the colder weather we've had recently. This jacket is superb, been up on
      Dartmoor while wearing it and it's handled harsh winds well and kept heat in
      while not getting clammy which can easily happen with an insulated jacket.

      Although a very basic design it's still top of the list for needed kit, two
      outside pockets are large with soft lining which keeps hands both comfortable
      and warm. Inside pocket keeps map protected from elements and always useful.>>
      EDIT: We need more specific information on the conditions you've encountered when wearing the jacket. You have some in the last paragraph of your Review, and that should be moved up to this section. Perhaps you could identify all conditions on one trip – weather, temperature range, activities when wearing the jacket, anything else that a prospective buyer might find helpful. After you've finished the FIELD CONDITIONS section, add a new section heading such as PERFORMANCE or OBSERVATIONS.

      <<As their website says this jacket is designed as a midlayer and will not keep
      you protected from heavy rain/snow. >>
      EDIT: A cardinal rule at BGT is that a Test Report or Owner Review be limited to personal observations. Referring to what someone else might experience is prohibited. For this reason any use of the second person (you or your) is strongly discouraged. When revising check for other instances of this and correct accordingly.

      <<mostly conditions around 10 degrees Celsius(50F), with strong winds and
      little or no rain. On one or two days the temperature dropped to around 5
      degrees Celsius(41F). I have used this jacket mostly as my outer layer, didn't
      feel the need for a hard shell at any point. Dartmoor has some steep climbs but
      is in no way mountain walking, average height was around 400 metres (1300FT).>>
      EDIT: Two more BGT conventions. Temperatures are always xx C (yy F), with a space and C or F only; abbreviations for anything except temperature are always lower case (1300 ft, not 1300FT).
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