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Edit - Patagonia Women's Down Sweater - Frances Penn

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  • richardglyon
    Frances, Welcome to BackpackGearTest.org, and thanks for your Owner Review. This is an excellent start at a first OR, and I look forward to working with you to
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 6, 2012
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      Welcome to BackpackGearTest.org, and thanks for your Owner Review. This is an excellent start at a first OR, and I look forward to working with you to get it ready for posting.

      My edits below are in standard BGT format:

      EDIT (all caps) – required change
      Edit (initial cap) – suggested change or request for clarification
      Comment – just that, no change required

      After revising you need to do two things. Post the html version of the Report in the Tests/Owner Reviews folder on BackpackGearTest.org, and post the plain text version here, with "Repost," the product name, and your name in the subject line, and with a tinyurl link to the html version in the body of your message.

      Please note that while photos aren't required in a first Owner Review, we do require them in all subsequent ORs and in all Test Reports. I encourage you to include one in this Report.

      Cheers, Richard Lyon
      BGT Editor

      EDIT: You need a title for your review, at the top:

      Patagonia Women's Down Sweater
      Owner Review by Frances Penn
      December 23, 2011

      <<Date: December 23, 2011>>
      EDIT: Delete this line, as the date should be part of the title.

      <<E-mail: fpenn@...>>
      Edit: You may wish to write this out ["fpenn at . . .] to discourage spammers.

      <<Location: Costa Mesa, California>>
      EDIT: Add "USA" at the end. A BGT convention, as not all of our members and writers are American.

      <<I have been backpacking for four years mostly on long weekends in Southern
      California with one or two week long trips per year in the Sierras.>>
      Edit: one- or two-week [with hyphens]

      << The jacket has a lightweight, windproof and water-resistant shell with a high tear-strength and a Deluge® DWR (durable water repellent) finish. >>
      Edit: I'd delete the parenthetical, as you define DWR earlier in the Review.

      <<The shell and lining are 1.4-oz 20-denier 100% polyester ripstop with a Deluge® DWR (durable water repellent) finish. The insulation is 800-fill-power premium European goose down.>>
      EDIT: This same information is in the preceding paragraph. Delete it in one place or the other.

      <<3-day, 2 night trip to Big Pine Lakes area of the Sierras September 2011.>>
      EDIT: Please add the temperatures encountered on this trip.

      <<The nights were 32 degrees and the daytime temps were 55-65 degrees. >>
      EDIT: Two BGT conventions: never use "degrees" when reporting temperatures, and Fahrenheit and Celsius are both required. 32 F (0 C); 55-65 F (13-18 C). Please fix all of the temperatures reported in your Review. By the way, there's a conversion table on BackpackGearTest.org, and at the bottom of that page are listed many of our conventions.

      << 2-day, 2 night trip to Joshua Tree December 2011.>>
      EDIT: Joshua Tree, California [Once again, for the benefit of our non-US readers]
      Edit: 2-night [with a hyphen]

      <<Since it is only 11 oz and highly compressible, >>
      EDIT: Please add the metric conversion

      << and did not add any discomfort to my pack.>>
      EDIT: I'm not quite sure what you mean here. I do know that your pack is insensitive. Maybe "and did not cause me any discomfort from a bulge in my pack.

      <<I was able to stuff it into my down sleeping bag compression sack that had a little extra room so I didn't have to allow space for the jacket in my pack.>>
      EDIT: allow extra space [It was in your pack, so you did allow some space.]

      <<I tried stuffing the jacket into the pocket and did not like the result. >>
      EDIT: What didn't you like? Please explain here and later in this paragraph.
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