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EDIT-Bailey Glen Crushable Fedora - Rusty Gaidzik

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  • richardglyon
    Rusty, This is an excellent start at a first OR, and fun to read besides. Before starting on specific edits I want to mention two BGT protocols that come up in
    Message 1 of 1 , Sep 12, 2011
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      This is an excellent start at a first OR, and fun to read besides.

      Before starting on specific edits I want to mention two BGT protocols that come up in several of my edits.

      1. We don't allow what we call "projection:" reporting on another's experience or speculating on what might happen in circumstances the writer (you) hasn't experienced personally. I think you'll see what I mean after reviewing the specific edits below.

      2. All measurements and temperatures require conversion, in the format set out at the bottom of the Conversion Table at BackpackGearTest.org

      Here are your edits, in standard BGT format:

      EDIT (all caps) – required change
      Edit (initial cap) – suggested change or request for clarification
      Comment – just that, no change required

      After revising you need to do two things. Post the html version of the Report in the Tests/Owner Reviews folder on BackpackGearTest.org, and post the plain text version here, with "Repost," the product name, and your name in the subject line, and with a tinyurl link to the html version in the body of your message.

      Please note that while photos aren't required in a first Owner Review, we dorequire them in all subsequent ORs and in all Test Reports. As noted below I encourage you to include some in this Report.

      Cheers, Richard

      <<Height: 6' 2" (1.87 Meters)>>
      EDIT: 1.87 m [See item 2 above.]

      <<Weight: 190 Pounds (86 Kilograms)>>
      EDIT: 190 lb (86 kg) [Same – not capitalized.]

      <<City, State, Country: Los Angeles, CA, USA.>>
      EDIT: California [We have international readers who aren't familiar with the USPS abbreviations.]

      <<Date: June 23, 2011>>
      EDIT: This should be in the title of your Review, under your name.

      <<usually between 30lbs to 40lbs.>>
      EDIT: 30 lb to 40 lb [no "s" and a space after the digits]
      EDIT: need metric equivalents

      <<Manufacturer: Bailey >>
      EDIT: Here this should be the manufacturer's full legal name: Bailey Hat Company

      <<Brim: 2 1/2-inch down-turned brim.
      Crown: 4-inch center dent.>>
      EDIT: Need metric equivalents.

      <<MSRP: $69.00>>
      EDIT: We only allow MSRPs from the manufacturer's website. As this hat is no longer offered, delete this line.

      <<-Crushable(side to side)>>
      EDIT: Add a space after "crushable"

      <<I got this hat off the rack from a store so there were no extras, but I
      understand if you order online it will come in a box suitable for storage.>>
      EDIT: The first example of projection; see item 1 above. If this information is on Bailey's website, rephrase to say that. If not,delete everything after "extras."

      <<I have worn this hat on every trip over the past year. For me that amounts to approximately 40 days and 15 nights worth of use in the field.>>
      Edit: 40 days' and 15 nights' [possessive]
      EDIT: Please add temperature ranges and whether you encountered any precipitation (and what kind: light rain, thunderstorm, hail, snow?).

      <<from the Anzo Borrega Desert to the Rivers of Los Padres NF, >>
      EDIT: Anza Borrego [spelling]
      EDIT Los Padres National Forest [another US abbreviation that some may not know]

      << Also, I have a big head and most hats don't fit me.>>
      EDIT: How big is your head? It would help to add your hat size for reference.

      <<It is advertised as completely crushable, yet if you want to keep it looking pristine you absolute have to baby it and keep it uncrushed. If you buy hats for style, then you'll be used to this with other hats. If you are buying it for a practical outdoor hat, you may find, like I have, that the signs of wear only add to the aesthetic of the hat.>>
      EDIT: More projection. Re-write so that you are stating personal preferences and not what others might conclude.

      <<The inner: a thin, black, canvas like material. >>
      Edit: canvas-like [[with a hyphen]

      <<This strip served its purpose well for several hikes and for
      some I'm sure it would last many more. But if you are like me and you sweat a lot, and I sweat A LOT, then you'll find this strip degrades in a rather displeasing way. >>
      EDIT: More projection. This is useful information; simply re-phrase to state only your own experience.

      <<This has caused a light brown stain in that area of the hat,>>
      Comment: An excellent example of where a picture would help.

      <<If you are familiar with theater or film production you may have heard of Gaff tape, or gaffers tape. >>
      EDIT: More projection. Just state what you used.

      <<I imagine any other high quality canvas tape (gorilla, duct, etc) would work. >>
      EDIT: More projection. No "imagining!" Please delete.

      <<It cost me a couple cents worth of tape>>
      EDIT: cents' worth [with a hyphen]

      -warm wool/fur blend
      -stylish design; reminiscent of classic Hollywood films
      -water repellent; stain resistant>>
      Edit: You haven't talked much about the last item. Maybe add a sentence or two in the preceding sentence?
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