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Edit/Approval - Cabela's Alaskan Guide Sleeping Bag - B. Hartman

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  • richardglyon
    Brian, Thanks for the OR. A few edits, in the usual format. After revising you re good to upload at http://tinyurl.com/5vu2bbg Cheers, Richard
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 28, 2011
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      Brian,

      Thanks for the OR. A few edits, in the usual format. After revising you're good to upload at http://tinyurl.com/5vu2bbg

      Cheers, Richard

      <<ALASKAN GUIDE SLEEPING BAG [Title]>>
      EDIT: Please add "CABELA'S" at the beginning.

      <<Manufacturer: Cabelas >>
      EDIT: Here it needs to be the full legal name: Cabela's, Inc.

      << while the inside of the bag is lined with 220T cotton fabric. >>
      Edit: I think (but certainly don't know for sure) that the "T" refers to threads per inch, which is a standard measure for cotton fabrics. While "threads per inch" may be common, the abbreviation (T) isn't. Consider revising.
      Comment: 220 threads per inch is very high-grade cotton. No wonder it's so comfortable.

      <<Cabelas uses different insulating materials on the top and bottom of the bag >>
      EDIT: We don't need the full name, but you need to abbreviate as the manufacturer does, with the apostrophe: Cabela's. Here and elsewhere in your Review.

      <<A #10 YKK zipper is located on the right hand side of the bag.>>
      Edit: right-hand [with a hyphen]
      Edit: Does Cabela's sell this bag with a left zip option? If so (or if not), I'd point that out.

      << The zipper extends all the way to the toebox and fully across the bottom of the bag, >>
      Edit: The usual term is footbox, not toebox. Meaning is clear so up to you.

      <<It also has an exterior storage pocket measuring 4 in (10 cm) x 4 in (10 cm) for stashing small items at night such as a flashlight, watch or iPod.>>
      Edit: Could you identify where that pocket is located? If (as I think is the case) it's under the logo, I'd refer to your photo.

      << our Lab likes to lay on it, whenever we forget to zip the tent door closed all the way.>>
      EDIT: lie on it
      Edit: The comma after "on it" is unnecessary.

      <<It is litterly as warm, soft and comfortable as climbing into my bed at
      night with flannel sheets. >>
      EDIT: literally [spelling]

      << This is my go-to bag for sub zero temperatures >>
      Edit: sub-zero [with a hyphen]

      << Of course, the extra room equates to extra weight and as I mentioned above, potential heat loss. >>
      Edit: This would read better with no comma or a second comma after "and."
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